


365 Days

by Loki (are_you_still_writing_that)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Non-Chronological, Writing Exercise, writing prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 69
Words: 50,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/are_you_still_writing_that/pseuds/Loki
Summary: Little snippets of their long travels, told non-chronological over the course of a year...
Kudos: 1





	1. Outside the Window

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a new year so I thought I would celebrate this with a new project. It is called "365 Days", like you may have already read.
> 
> I will write a little flash story, and try to achieve the goal of at least 500 words per chapter.
> 
> If you find mistakes, grammar or spelling, don´t be afraid to point them out.
> 
> This is all I wanted to say for the moment. I hope you will enjoy the journey I want to take you on.
> 
> So without further things to add. 
> 
> Let´s Go!

Carefully they took their next step. Right now it would do them no good, to trip or fall over a stray stone in their path, they wanted to move to a safer section and didn´t need to twist their ankle on their way. Even though fear was still crawling down their back.

Night had already settled a few hours ago, but they still continued on, braving the rather unfriendly parts of the forest. This was really no place to get a good nights rest, so they had decided to continue their journey, instead of taking a break, even though they needed one at this point.

They stepped around another rock, which was sharp enough, that it would have cut right through their footwear into their, still rather delicate feet. They had already once made the experience of a deep wound in their feet, they didn´t need to endure it a second time.

While continuing on their path, they hoped to get out of this part of the forest, after all it was rather frightening. It was completely devoid of any life. They couldn´t hear a single bird, no critter that was running through the woods, only their own steps, breathing and sometimes muffled cursing.

Like right now, as they slipped and were only barely able to catch themselves on another branch. Huffing they corrected their footing, clapped their hands to get rid of bark, that was clinging to their palms and moved on after sorting their clothes too.

Still trying to figure out where the exit of this cursed thing is. This forest really could do with some more light, because right now the empty branches, devoid of any leaves, managed to black out all the light the moon was providing. They didn´t know how they managed that either, and wrote it up to this forest being cursed.

They walked faster, why should they spent more time, where they were clearly not welcome, they had never done this before, they certainly wouldn´t start with such a habit now. Especially if the not being welcome was a cursed realm. They usually didn´t put much weight into the rumours bored townspeople told, but this time the people may have been right.

Their breathing was now more easily heard as they started lightly running, using the trees as guides where to step on their path, they heard and felt how smaller branches broke apart under their weight or snapped when they ran past them, while the branches tried to cling to their clothes.

They were close to tears when over the sound of their breathing, soon joined another one, more and more sound to fill the silence, they had nearly gotten used to. To be able to only hear the sounds they had made like their breathing, their steps and even their heartbeat had seemed unnaturally loud to them.

But now the singing of cicadas, that they had more missed than they would ever out loud acknowledge had joined the previous silence. They could also hear how some birds were rustling their feathers, and something was squirrelling through the woods.

With a deep breath they took in the fresh air, and rather confused noticed how this part of the forest seemed so much lighter than where they had just come from. Maybe their eyes had adjusted as they went, but would it still be so bright then, that they would have to squint their eyes a little to still be able to see?

Deciding to waste no further thought on this matter they went forward, eager to find a somewhat safe place to lay their head to rest at least for a little bit, before the sun rose again. Allthough everything seemed a lot safer than where they just where.

It would do them no good, to sleep the precious daylight away, after all it was a long travel they still had to make.


	2. The Unrequited Love Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just have to walk away, from the things that hurt you.

It wasn´t the first time that they felt like this, and they had a feeling it surely wasn´t the last time either. With a fond smile they watched the couple dance with each other, not really on beat with the music, but still having fun twirling around one another, and basically shining with happiness.

In clear contrast to this happy mood, stood the feeling of their pitiful heart breaking, shattering into pieces, with a painful crash. Again.

It had happened numerous times now, that they had felt a deep affection for their companion, but was usually just seen as a rather helpful stranger. Though they had to admit it didn´t hurt less every time their heart broke, like they had feared in the beginnings of their travel.

At this point it was almost expected. It definitely became one of the reasons why they became harsh and rather short with their words. They tried to push the people away before they got close to them. Not that it ever worked, some even found it charming.

A dry chuckle escaped them, as they fingered for the flask they had hidden in one of their coat pockets, they felt like they needed, and after all what had happened deserved, a nice drink. They left the flask alone, there would surely later be a better fitting opportunity to take a sip out of it.

The giggle of the couple was so filled with their love, that even the most emotional incapable idiot would have been able to decipher it.

They snorted, really, they should stop with this habit. It was unbecoming of their job and their goals in life. It was better for them to stay alone.

A shudder ran through them. They hated with a passion being lonely, which tended to happen when they travel alone, for several weeks without another presence at their side. And when then another person crossed their path, they just couldn´t say no to the company.

Even if it was rarely company that these people sought. Protection or a fighting force was what they sought from them, but it never really bothered them before.

No, the only thing that bothered them was the inevitable heartbreak that they would experience. They would always feel more than the people around them for these other people.

With a last smile, that spoke of a heart that was broken thousands of times, they turned around. They had solved the problem, that was assigned to them and had nothing holding them here any more.

With quick, but silent steps, they hushed away from the commotion, that was the celebrating of the young couple, and followed the paths that would lead them out off this village.

Actually that was quite a nice place, and the target of their affections would have never left this place, and let´s be honest with ourselves here, they were too anxious to stay in one place for long, they had to stay on the road, otherwise they would probably just go insane.

On the border between the village and the rarely travelled paths of the unknown, they pulled out their flask and raised it skywards and mumbled a toast only the spirits would hear, and walked away, to never appear in this village again.

_"To a brave and stupid heart, that doesn´t know when it isn´t wanted, when it´s friendship, companionship or something more, well, to unrequited love!"_


	3. The Vessel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Company is sometimes all we need.

_"No, seriously, just go away! Stop following me around, like a lost puppy! I mean it! Don´t you dare to take that step towards me. You little-!"_

That and several sentences that were somewhat similar, in word choice and syntax, could be heard now for a rather long time. Not to mention the miles in every direction they could be heard.

They usually tended to regret their choices, it didn´t matter if it was shortly after they decided upon something or that years had already passed away. The rule was, no matter what they did, it tended to bite them in the ass, sometimes metaphorically, sometimes in a literal way.

They yowled, more in indignation than in pain, when they felt a sharp pinch, with an annoyed huff, they tried to argue with the culprit of this particular regrettable choice.

When they whirled around, they stared angrily at the culprit, but the horse just didn´t want to back down, and instead started to eat their hair.

With a sigh, all anger escaped them, and they deflated. They patted the horse gently.

They had found the poor animal, tied to a post, the beast looked half dead, when they had approached, and the way it had so hopefully looked up when they came closer, only to look so dejected when they stopped. Not only that, but they just couldn´t help themselves, before they knew they had untied the horse and led it to the next stream.

The horse seemed so helpless, and they just couldn´t leave it there. So that is how they had ended up, with that very same horse following them around, even though they had protested the company loud and often.

When they resumed their walking, and turned away from the horse. They could only make a few steps, before the insistent clacking of hooves, joined the sound of their own footsteps.

It was a strange rhythm. One they weren´t really used to. Yes, sometimes they had company, but these companions were usually human.

They looked over their shoulder, back at the horse, who seemed to follow them almost happily. A fond smile, spread over their face, and they shook their head gently.

_"What am I even supposed to do with you, huh?"_

No answer, not that they had expected one. The horse gently bumped its snout against their arm.

_"Yeah, yeah, whatever that means. Hey, if you´re going to travel with me, I guess you´re going to tell me your name too, huh?"_

Silence.

_"Yeah"_ , they pulled the sound a little, _"but it still would have been nice, you know? Now I have to think about a name, we both like."_

They hummed, deep in thought, and were gently nudged back onto the path, when they began to walk off it. Not that they noticed. They had ended up in the strangest places, while thinking about one thing or the other.

_"Hey, I have an idea. I admit I don´t know what you will think, but what about Culprit, hmm?"_

When the horse gently nibbed on their hair again, they nodded.

_"Culprit it is! Come along now, it´s still a long way!"_

With that the newly found duo walked off.


	4. Dancing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes an event, that is reason to celebrate for some, is a reason to mourn for others.

They were really not a fan of such festivals. Not only stole it their precious time away, but it was also unpleasant.

The music of the band, was always louder than it was sensible, and they weren´t quite sure what exactly the bard was crooning up there, but it was hurting their ears regardless.

Don´t let them mention the nobles, who thought themselves esteemed dancers, but were just prancing about without rhythm or sense. They had seen geese with more capabilities in these fine arts.

And may the god help the next person, who dares to approach them, to talk about adventures and how romantic these were. They would punch them, no questions asked. They would start telling the stories, without any form of censoring their words, they would tell tales of blood, sorrow and anguish. Let them see how romantic these adventures are.

Romantic. They scoffed, what exactly was romantic, about kneeling in blood, fighting for your own survival. There was nothing cathartic about walking of the field, joints and bones aching, with the knowledge that you may have done more for your life, then you could bear in the future.

They glared and bared their teeth, when they saw someone approaching them from the corner of their eyes. Not that this particular nuisance was swayed by their dark mood.

_"C´mon, why aren´t you celebrating with the others?"_ , his voice was loud and obnoxious, and they could only scoff in annoyance, a growl was building up in their chest, which they tried to swallow.

_"If you don´t mind, I think I should be taking my leave"_ , even though their sentence was worded like a question, both of them knew that it wasn´t.

Mutely the man nodded and tried to turn away, but they grabbed his shoulder in a hard grip, fingers digging into the soft skin, their other hand was stretched out, palm upwards, and they waited.

The man gulped, clearly not expecting them to remember the agreement that was made before this whole mess had started, but they had. Their part of the deal was done, no it was his time to uphold his part of the arrangement.

When he made no move to comply, the growl that they had been holding back the whole time finally escaped them, and the man flinched back. Hastily he sorted through his pockets, till he found what was demanded.

He dropped it into their hand, and they let go of him. They didn´t look closer at the object, just closing their hand and holding it tight.

They watched with squinted eyes as the man ran from them. What a coward he really was. It would almost be hilarious, if it wasn´t so sad.

They turned on their heel, storming towards the exit, they glowered at anyone who looked like they wanted to approach them, with their meaningless chatter.

They escaped without another poor attempt, at a conversation coming at them, and they were very glad about this.

It wouldn´t really help them to break the noses of those so-called nobles. No, it would only mean more problems for them, and really they could do without them being added to the pile that already existed and was hounding their every step.

When they stood in front of the mansion, finally after too many stair and winding turns, they took a deep breath, closing their eyes. They were trying to fight the sickness, as the urge to vomit had suddenly overcome them, but that always happened.

It always sickened them to see, how the high and mighty would celebrate and dance, when someone died. They didn´t know how long they could deal with this any more.

They took another deep breath to calm themselves down, not that this was working, but they had to move on. Again they clenched the object in their hand, feeling the sting, when it pressed into their hands and stormed away.

They couldn´t bear to be here any longer, and hearing the dancing from above.


	5. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know, sometimes you just shouldn´t eat some things.

When people think of travelling to the different towns, kingdoms or even another continent, they usually think about the beautiful landscapes and sights they might pass. These idiots sometimes think about another culture they might encounter, rarely the thoughts derail towards the local food, and when it does only in the light how delicious it will be, how different from usual.

Fuck them.

That was the only thought running through their head, as they stared down at the bowl in their lap. Something, they were pretty sure was still partially alive, was swimming in their bowl. They saw it wriggling as it disappeared in the mouth of the girl in front of her.

Swallowing down the bile rising in their throat, even though that wouldn´t make the - could it even be called a soup? - any worse, and instead started counting her freckles, a rather nice look on her otherwise startlingly pale face.

Carefully they focused back on their meal, and gently stirred it with their spoon, when the thing in their soup suddenly grabbed the spoon. Apparently their food didn´t like being stirred. Good to know, they guessed.

They blinked several times down into the bowl. Yep, that thing was still holding their spoon hostage. There was no way they would eat that, especially because the thing just blinked back at them. Absent-mindedly they started nodding, only to shake their head.

Desperately they were looking around, trying to find some place where they could get rid of the bowl and its contents, or even someone they could push their bowl at. But no such luck.

Their hosts were all happily eating, not one of them looked like they would take the thing off of their hands, seemingly content to ignore them as long as they were focused on their food.

They pursed their lips in disgust, as a spoonful across the table blinked several times with several eyes at them, before being devoured, a little to the right there was a wave directed at them, no, not from one of the hosts, yes, from the food.

They sighed, still searching for some way out of this situation, when there was a whimpering under the table, and a snout was pushed against their knee.

Carefully they bend their body, leaning slightly back, to look under the table without it being obvious, and under the table was their saviour.

Soulful eyes stared at them, as the dog whined quietly again, clearly trying to get only their attention, and not the one from one of their hosts. A grin spread across their face, as they looked at this dog, obviously trying to beg scraps from the table.

With a quick look around to check if anyone was paying attention to them, they grabbed their bowl, while securing their spoon with their thumb, in case the thing let go off it, and swiped it under the table.

As soon as the bowl was in reach the dog began to feed, they felt when the thing was gone, because their spoon suddenly went slack. Now they only had to wait patiently, till the slurping from under the table stopped.

When it did, they put their clean bowl back on the table, acting as if they were sated with this delicious meal, politely declining every offer of refilling their bowl.

They would leave this place first thing tomorrow, preferably before breakfast, at best when no other person was awake yet. Gods forbid that these people wanted to provide provisions for a long the way.


	6. Eye Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beauty always lays in the eye of the beholder.

They weren´t sure if this was a good idea, no they were pretty sure that it was a right out terrible idea, but they had already gone so far, there was no reason to turn around and escape back the way they had come from. But and that had to taken into account, this was still nerve-wracking enough, to sent their heart into a sprint, that would very likely go on for another while.

Their steps softly slowed to a stop, it wasn´t quite the destination where they were supposed to meet up, but it was close enough, that they would see her, when she arrived. They really didn´t want to walk up that hill.

Doubt started to creep in, infesting their thoughts with possible deceit. What if all of this was just one big trap, that they were walking into like the biggest idiot on this planet.

Before they could spiral any more, a girl appeared on the hill. She was, well, beautiful was word for it. Her black hair was braided to lay across her shoulder. Her slender arms were crossed over chest, and they could see, how one of her feet was impatiently tapping the ground.

Yeah, this might really be the woman they had exchanged letters with for quite a while now. She always tended to be impatient and rather short-tempered in her letters too.

With a deep breath, they tried to scrap together the last few pieces of their confidence to go up and meet her, which was a lot harder than it should be. After a few deep breaths to calm their nerves, they shakily put one foot in front of the other.

At that moment the woman turned around, and they saw how a big smile appeared on her face, when she saw them. They tried to smile back, not quite succeeding, and rather pulled their face into a grimace, which just made the girl laugh.

In response, they let their attempt at a smile fall, and instead hurried up to meet her. Only stopping when they were face to face with the girl.

When she opened her eyes, they seemed to forget how to breathe for a few seconds. To say her eyes were unique would be an understatement in every dimension.

A gentle red pupil surrounded by a watery pink stared back at them. Her eyes looked liked they wanted to represent the dawn, with it´s soft clouds and brilliant streaks of light. They just couldn´t stop staring at these pools of warm and, for some reason, a feeling of safety washed over them, as they looked her into the eyes.

Soon though she seemed to grow uncomfortable with the attention though and turned her head away, looking into another direction, and they tried to apologize because it wasn`t their intention to make her uncomfortable.

She just laughed, _"Ahh, don´t worry about everyone reacts like that. Say that they can´t stop staring at my scary demon eyes. You´re not the first one that stared!"_

They took a step back and whispered uncomfortable, _"I just found them nice to look at. They are very beautiful, you know? Please accept my apologies though, if I happened to make you uneasy or doubt the beauty you possess"_

With a laugh the woman, threw her head back, and squeezed her eyes shut, giggling without any control. When it stopped, she opened her eyes again, grinning unapologetic, eyes twinkling with mirth.

_"Heh, I was always wondering if you really talked like you wrote. Guess I was right, you do!"_ She turned towards a path, very likely the one she had come from, and waved her hand to signal them to follow.

After only a few steps, she suddenly stopped, as if she just remembered something, _" Ay, my name is Vartouhi Goldhirsch."_

They nodded and held out their hand to be shaken, and with a smile replied, _"A pleasure to meet you, Vartouhi."_


	7. The Rocket-Ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myths are countless, everyone knows a different one after all.

They often laid like this, when they had the chance to rest. The night sky was clear, no clouds or mist around to hide the stars, they were watching with tired eyes. It truly was one of the most beautiful sights to exist.

The night sky was dark, but the bright dots of starlight made it so wonderful to watch. They buried deeper into the grass, closing their eyes for a moment to feel the breeze dancing around them, like an overenthusiastic child.

Stars and stories was always a strong association in their mind. There were thousands over thousand stories out there in the world, that would explain the stars to them.

In some parts, a star was the last wish of a dying person, and the brighter it shone, the stronger had the wish been, in another not far away the stars were supposed to be the dead themselves watching over the living.

They had loved both stories the first time they had heard them. Wasn´t it a beautiful thought that your loved ones would watch over you, at the darkest times? Well, for them, it was.

Another town had told them the story of how the stars were the flying embers of a blacksmith, burning through the fabric of the nights dress. It had made them grin and suppress a laugh the first time they heard that myth.

But imagine, out there is a lady, with a dress so dark, that it can represent the night sky, it is to be said a beautiful gown and only one of it´s kind, and then there is this blacksmith, who works right next to that lady with her gown, and every time his hammer lands on the anvil, sparks fly and land on that beautiful dress, burning bright holes into it.

Another story told the tale of the love between the sun and the moon. The stars are supposed to be the children of this celestial union. Makes one think different about the amount of stars in the sky, huh?

Though their favourite myth surrounding the nigh sky, and it´s bright stars would be forever this one. They had heard it in the south, they didn´t even want to stay at first, only walk quickly through the district, but something had come up, and they had decided to stay for a while.

The people told them the story, how every star was the doorway to another world, how behind every star his another place, different and unique from the others, where tress might have a teal bark and pink leaves, where gravity might not mean anything.

But of one star the people had spoken off only with hushed whispers, about the brightest star, behind that one, the myth went, hid a world completely devoid of magic, where witches were only women of herbal knowledge, where dragons never existed, and where the only magic that existed was illusionary.

They shuddered thinking about a world so unlike anything they had known their entire life, and thought back to the other stars, that were spoken proudly off. With the sound of the wind in their ears, they slowly dozed off to a peaceful rest.


	8. Dream-Catcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What are dreams really?  
> Are they a memory long forgotten or simply memories?  
> Do they depict the past or future?  
> Are they old ghosts or new prophecies?  
> No one can explain to you, but you think that all of this might hold an inkling of thruth.

They were running, running without a goal in their mind. They just wanted to get away. Their breath was short and fast, and it grew worse the longer it went unchecked. But they couldn´t, no wouldn´t stop. Their heartbeat was louder than it ever has been before, their footsteps sounded like a reckless drum, slowly forming it´s crescendo.

A scream, high-pitched and loud, tore out of their throat when they stumbled and feel forwards, landing heavily on the ground. Desperately they tried to scrabble upwards, they couldn´t stop here, they simply couldn´t. In their hectic attempts to get up, they slipped several times again.

Each slip making them more scared and more determined to get off the ground even faster. They couldn´t stay here. They had to get away or else everything would be over, and they couldn´t allow that. Their hands were covered with scraps and blood was slowly ruining their sleeves.

When they managed to get back on their feet they took off running again. But something or someone was hot on their heel. Fear flooded their whole being in a matter of seconds, and they were giving their all again to run away, to get away from this demonic presence.

But something seemed weird, they felt as if they were running on the same spot, and time was stretching indefinitely.

Sweat was dripping down their back, as they heard their pursuer coming closer and closer. They felt the cold and hot chase each other, and they couldn´t stop shaking. They couldn´t stop running either, even if it seemed like they weren´t moving forward any more, even if every last muscle protested the continued motion.

Because they were sure of that one thing stopping would mean dying, would mean never seeing the sun, would mean being alone, would mean the loss of s many things that were so important to them, so they wouldn´t stop.

Their breath was getting even shorter, and soon it felt like they weren´t getting enough oxygen any more, it felt like they were slowly being suffocated, with their own attempts of escaping. But their attacker breath, that was close enough now that they could hear it now, still sounded strong and steady, and another wave of fear and desperation hit them.

When they stumbled again, because something hit their back this time, and went down, they didn´t even had the power to scream any more. They tried to crawl forward, their legs shaking so badly that they couldn´t support them any more.

But it was too late, with a sickening crunch everything went dark.

A scream tore through the night, and Culprit, the good soul that he was, didn´t trample them to death in fright, as they shot into a sitting position. Their breathing was ragged and with a hand on their chest they felt their heart beating like a rabbit´s.

Carefully they tried to get their breathing back under control. Their hair was plastered to their scalp and tiredly they pushed it out of their face. As soon as they calmed down a little, they felt a nudge to their shoulder. Sightly turning to look over their shoulder, they saw Culprit, with his nose pressed against their shoulder still.

They caressed his snout whispering shakily into the dark, _"I´m fine, buddy. No need to worry"_. They fell quiet after that again, leaning their head slightly back to look at the sky. It was dark and covered with thick clouds.

_"You know, that ain´t my first nightmare, certainly it ain´t the last one either. But who cares, ya know? I´m always ´lone anyways"_ , a sigh escaped them, their speech still slightly slurred from sleep, _"Life moves on, it´ll a´ways move on, on and on."_

They leaned back against the legs of Culprit, who in turn nosed through their hair. They grew quiet, their thoughts still jumbled, and tried to sort through what was real, and what was just a construct of their nightmares, that their head had cooked up.

It was quiet, as they started to watch the clouds, and how the lazily swam across the sky. Peaceful and free, and without any kind of destination in mind. If tears flowed down their face, neither them nor Culprit would ever mention it to another soul, dead or alive, humanoid or animalistic.

The two sat on the grass, wet with the morning dew, till the first tendrils of dawn stretched across the sky, in a mesmerizing sight, but for once they stayed like this a little longer.


	9. Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will help where I can, but I fear that my strenght is leaving me, and who will I help then, when I have nothing more to give, when I have reached my limit. What can I still do then?

_"Culprit, what in the ever loving hell, are you doing?"_ , a scream, quickly followed by a sigh, _"No, no, don´t tell me I actually don´t want to know it. I mean it can´t be worse than what happened last crescent moon, right?"_ , a whimper, _"Please tell me it isn´t worse than what happened last crescent moon, please"_ , quiet, _"Oh, c´mon!"_ , a last scream.

They were pacing, for several minutes now, their footprints already deeply visible, still muttering under their breath, as they watched Culprit with sharp eyes. They weren´t quite sure what he had done now, but they were still sure that ignorance to that, might be what would be best for everybody.

Ah, what happened last crescent moon, well, in their opinion nothing short a disaster, but they managed it. Even though they really didn´t ant a repeat performance of that mess. There were only so many ways, one could save a dragon from annihilation, before everybody caught onto it.

This time though, it wasn´t a dragon that was the core of their problem, no, it was this sickly looking thing, that once may have been described as a wolf, but now was missing a few of the characteristics necessary. They always had it in their peripheral vision, while pacing, but that wasn´t calming them down any more.

Seriously they had no idea how Culprit found those beings, that suspiciously always needed a little more help, than a simple civilian might be ready to give, and they knew even less, why Culprit brought these beings to them. At this point, they were at the end of their line, they had no clue any more, what to do. They didn´t even think, that they would have the strength, physical or mental, to help any more.

They sighed once more, and stopped in their tracks. When they laid their head back, they saw the full moon, shining upon them, they squinted and turned their head towards the being resembling faintly a wolf.

_"Hey Culprit!"_ , the horse inclined his head in their direction, _"You haven´t moved them, since you found them, right?"_

An agreement followed that sentence from Culprit, who sided up against them. In response, they let their weigh fall against Culprit, who predictably caught them without a stumble.

_"C´mon, let´s get that fellow out off the moonlight, maybe that will help, maybe it won´t, who knows, not me that is for sure"_

With that they pushed themselves forward, walking towards the, maybe actually very likely dangerous being, grabbed the fur at it´s neck and a paw, and started to pull.

_"Stop standing there like a statue and come help me, will you!"_

Culprit made his way over to them, and tripping once with his haste, and together they pulled the fellow out of the direct moonlight. The two pulled it into the safety of the tress, and when they managed it, both of them were breathing hard.

They stretched their back, which popped satisfactorily, and turned to Culprit with a smile on their face, _"Go to sleep now, boy. I´ll keep watch. Promise. Wake you up if anything happens, okay?"_

The horse followed their order almost lazily, while they leaned back against a tree to wait, for the morning or for something to happen, they weren´t quite sure, but they waited.


	10. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never had friends before, so this may be one of the only chances I get at friendship.  
> I hope I don´t mess this up.

Friends. Huh. Not something they had ever, so they weren´t sure if this is what friendship was like. Was this how it´s feels, how you act. They wondered if these thoughts, really fit into the parameters of friendship, if their wishes for the future may still fall into this category.

They took a quick step with a fluid motion, practised many times in great battles against beast and mortals a like, to the side to escape the elbow of Vartouhi, who was babbling about one thing or the other, like she had done for the last few days, usually it contained the gossip of the village and her thoughts on other beings.

After meeting them, they had stayed, just for a little while, just to see if the Vartouhi they had meet in her letters, is the same Vartouhi in real life, and they were pretty sure that she was. She was still quick to anger and had a temper one should be careful with. She was stubborn in a way that was almost sweet, and had a rage to her words that was slightly terrifying.

It was almost dancing, the way they side stepped the flaying limbs of her, to not get hit, also something they had practised before, and really everyone who tells you fighting is like dancing is at leat partially right. They weren´t even sure that Vartouhi noticed, that she was always very close to hitting them, and even if she did, they were pretty sure that she wouldn´t care anyway.

The both had talked a lot in the last few days, and they had at one point felt something different, while talking to Vartouhi than usual, and now they were wondering, and kind of spiralling in questions, because they tended to overthink, everything that had happened the last few days now.

They never had friends, as a child or later. At first, it was because other children found them weird, and really people found lesser reasons not to interact with someone. Later it had been because they were always travelling, trying to run from something that maybe couldn´t be outrun. So contact usually stayed to a minimum because people knew they were gone, come the next morning.

But with Vartouhi, they had found a way to communicate that didn´t mean that they had to stay in the same location necessarily, because really they couldn´t, whenever they told someone that they would go insane with restlessness, they meant it.

The letters the both of them had exchanged, always seemed to find them anyway, which let to the suspicion that Vartouhi may be more magical and other wordly, other than the colour of her eyes, but they shoved that thought aside for the moment.

So, they wondered if this care they felt for Vartouhi was really how friendship feels, because it wasn´t like their thousands upon thousands of crushes they had in their life. No it was somehow different from all of this.

As they watched of Vartouhi threw her head back to laugh at a quip they had made, they decided that maybe it didn´t matter in the end.


	11. Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t know what I´m doing here.  
> Was my promise not something else?  
> I´m out of my depth here, this isn´t part of my abilities any more.  
> But I can´t go back now.  
> The only thing left to do is facing what I have to.

A roar, a quick step to the right, sword held above their head to parry, a jump backwards, a breath, gripping the handle of their sword tighter, and charge forwards.

They saw how the belly of the dragon seemed to light up, as it reared it´s massive head back. The light travelled further upwards till it reached it´s throat. As they realized what was happening they hastily searched for cover and dove behind a formation of rocks, only peeking out to not lose sight of what was happening.

The dragon opened it´s maw, rows upon rows of teeth shining in the afternoon sun, and there it was. An ocean of fire escaped it´s snout, and they quickly pulled their head back behind the rocks. They felt how the inferno washed over the land. A few adventurous wisps even licking at their skin, but afterwards they were still unburned.

When they surveyed their surroundings they saw how it was now mainly dead land, the ground was cracked, and the few blades of grass and the stubborn flowers that were blooming, were gone. All that was decimated in just one fiery sneeze.

Oh, dear.

The air, so dry that it rivalled the one in deserts, was stinging in their eyes, but still they readied themselves foe a continued fight. They didn´t think that the dragon would give up so easily, even though they had hoped for it.

Standing back up and facing the enormous beast once more, they attacked.

It wasn´t graceful by any means, but they hoped it would get the job done.

It didn´t.

Roll to the left, lift sword to stab dragons toe, get nearly killed by claw, jump forwards in a daring mix of escape and attack, get nearly flattened to jam by dragon foot, curse dragon and every circumstance leading here, stab successfully dragon, get burned from blood escaping wound, search for a moment of solace.

Heavily panting they jumped between to close standing rocks and ran, when they saw the small cave opening, barely fitting them they jumped head first in. They landed rather roughly, but it was necessary, after all they had still felt the displaced air when the dragon's maw snapped close.

They saw the temper tantrum the dragon was throwing outside, it threw itself against the stone wall, which caused small stones to fall down, when it realized that this wasn´t working it tried to pull them out with a claw, which just made them move deeper into the small cave with a raised eyebrow. When this attempt didn´t work too, it roared, jumping up and down, and acting like four-year-old.

With that unpleasant thought in mind, they started to nurse their burned arm, where most of the blood had hit them, with a quick pull, they ripped their shirt arm off, and continued to rear it into smaller pieces. One eye on the cave opening, they started to tie it tightly around their arm, to prevent even more dirt getting into the wound, next they turned towards their leg, the burns there made every step painful to an unpleasant degree.

After using first aid there too, to the best of their abilities considering their situation, they stood back up, they were slightly limping and one arm was shaking, when gripping their sword, but they were determined to finish what they had started.

Outside was a raging dragon, but with secure steps they walked towards it.


	12. Greeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Letter writing is the only device combining solitude with good company._
> 
> I think I might be about to understand that.

_`Greetings my dearest´_

Some might say that this was awkward. They would be right. The bird just cackled.

With a furious scowl, they scrapped the words again, pen nearly tearing the paper, ink splattering all over the place, like it had done now quite a few times. Their face was dotted with blue, making it seem like they had freckles, with a growl they tried to wipe the wet spot away. Unsuccessfully, as the ink was now smeared across their face, instead of neatly dotted.

They had no clue how to write a letter, especially because being pen pals was new. With whom would they even exchange letters given the chance, and that regularly they might add. If their memories served them correctly, which it always did, not including the problem with concussions, they had never written a letter before.

On the one hand letters were being forsaken, for the reason that they appeared at the place, where the person was, that had wanted to speak with them. Unconventional, but still a useful response.

They giggled and remembered fondly the face of the last person they had nearly scared half to death, with this little habit. But what could they really say, it was a useful habit, because usually people were asking for their help anyway, so why bother writing a useless letter back, when they were already on the way too.

On the other hand no one had really tried, till now they had to admit, to keep a stable relationship with them, through meetings or other means, be it letter or conversation, though they had to admit it tended to be a lack of interest on both sides.

They didn´t particularly wanted to stay in touch with those that had sent them out on a dangerous battle, and most who had asked for their help in a matter didn´t want to see them again too. A fact, which was understood and accepted on both sides quite easily. It was less messy that way.

So that was how it came that they were sitting here, thinking about the different ways to start a conversation, there were a lot more than they had expected. And still they weren´t satisfied with what their mind had presented them. All of them seemed weird and unfitting the longer they thought about these greetings.

The already scratched out _`Greetings´_ , it seemed too casually while also being still too formal. Not a good start to write a response to this letter.

A beautiful letter, they might add. Not a thinly veiled plead for help, just a letter addressed at whoever might find it. Usually they would have sent it back on it´s way, let someone else be the finder of this, but the bringer of the news was persistent. The bird hadn´t stopped pecking them, till they had sat down to write a response.

`Hi´ seemed to casual in general, _`Salute´_ , _`Hola´_ and in everything in that vein could also be forgotten, they weren´t capable of speaking the languages these greetings originated from, so why would they greet someone with that.

They also couldn´t use any form of _`Good morning´_ , _`Good afternoon´_ and the likes, or at least they didn´t feel comfortable doing that. It made them anxious to think about the fact that the letter may arrive or be read, at a different time, where the greeting wasn´t accurate any more.

With a deep breath they collected their thoughts again, checked their pen to see if it could still write, and just began to think and let their words flow onto the paper.


	13. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It’s lethal!”
> 
> – Paulo Coelho

There are many paths that life will take, some will lead you to a glorious destination, that will try to excuse everything that had happened before, for this single thing. Others will be missteps onto a wrong path, that tries to lead you away, from which you will have to find your way back to the right path. And then there is the path that you will take full off steps in the right direction, and missteps and both will be important to your journey, a path you will have to guide yourself on.

They were sure that this was one of the missteps. The cackling of the bird still ringing clearly in their head.

At the moment they were caught between the wall and their conversation partner, in a tavern they had visited these past few days. They had decided to stay in the village a little longer, that was firmly placed in the middle of nowhere. It had probably never seen any kind of dispute, of the magical or the normal kind, one of it´s more favourable details, and probably the only reason that it was still standing.

They had usually visited this tavern at the end of the day, doing the odd jobs, which even appeared in serene and ordered places like here. The tavern was usually empty, and so was the table in the corner also free, where they would sit to eat and drink their nightly meal. The other patrons usually left them alone, which allowed them to watch them quietly to get a better feel for the village that they were staying in, till they left again.

But not this time, someone, a farmer judging by his hands and the state they were in, had plobbed down next to them and began to aimlessly chatter about one topic or the other. Something was bothering them, the farmer and his conversation wasn´t menacing in any way, more likely annoying, but, no, that wasn´t what was bothering them. They watched his movements, he moved with an ease, that told them that this man repeated the same motions over and over again.

They themself possessed an ease to their movements. It was an ease that was earned through several fights, through honing their abilities every chance they got, to improve themself when they saw faults in their movement. It was an ease that came with knowing their body and the limits it could go to.

But his ease seemed off for some reason. It was born through repetition, it looked like it came from a habit, and spoke off countless days doing the same thing over and over again, it looked like a routine. It looked like death.

A quick look around gave them all the answers they needed, even though they didn´t want them. Not that they had seen what was bothering them up close, they could see it again. The patrons off the tavern moved in that same way, the same routine. It was probably the strange synchronicity, in which the people moved unconsciously, that had tipped them off that something was wrong.

They had fought many battles before, in which they always reigned victorious, otherwise they wouldn´t be here. It didn´t matter what they had fought, if it was a bandit, a wild animal, a dragon or a demon. They had once even taken up a fight with a government, and they always came out off these scuffles, not unscathed, but alive. A feeling off danger overcame them like never before, which frightened them more than they wanted to admit.

They pushed their untouched plate away from them, the food still steaming, and thought about their situation, but when a shiver of fright travelled across their spine, they fell back into their old thoughts, forsaking all plans of settling down for a little while, and fell back into the habits that had insured their survival several times before.

They interrupted the farmer in the middle of his next sentence to excuse themself, and quickly grabbed their coat and bag. Their food was left untouched and their drink was only missing a first sip, that they had taken, before the man had sat down next to them.

With a practised grip, they slipped their bag on, and took a step back from the table to put on their coat. Absently they evaded the hand of the man, that tried to grab their arm to convince them to stay a little longer.

They stormed across the tavern, dodging and weaving through other hands that tried to hold onto them. They were at the door with their coat still not properly fastened.

Out in the street, they looked to the left, then to the right, and curtly decided the direction they would take on a whim. As soon as their path was clear in their mind, they started running.

It was true after all what they had written, especially for them. Adventure might be dangerous but routine was what was truly lethal, and soon they vanished into the night.


	14. The Found Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N:The prompt was a poem/story out of random words. Mine were `scrapped´, `sercretion´ and `squeezed´.
> 
> * * *
> 
> I never put much believe in what people tell each other when bored, and no, the reason was not solely because I learned better most of the time. Even though that happened a lot too.

A bubble of air escaped them, as they were dragged further down below. Blood was flowing freely through the water around their head, surrounding it like a halo.

It looked like a red cloud, with an attempt to giggle, more air escaped into the water surrounding them. It flowed up in countless bubbles, and they watched these bubbles with rapt attention.

The sea serpent squeezed their ankle harder, while still pulling them along and a sharp pain shot through their whole body. The fog that had surrounded their head before vanished, blown away it´s real counterpart by a strong breeze.

For a second they reflexly tried to gasp for breath only to reminded by the pain in their lungs that they were currently underwater. After they got their coughing fit reasonably back under control, they took stock of what they still had on them to put up a fight.

It wasn´t as bad as they thought it would be. Yes, they had lost their weapon above the water surface, it was probably laying on land. After all they had lost it when they still had steady ground under their feet.

Their fists wouldn´t do them much good either. The sea serpent had a clear advantage in the water. Not only could it move quicker, but it could also breathe. A problem that was becoming more important by the second, as the burning in their lungs let them know.

With nimble fingers, they started to search their coat, they really hoped that they hadn´t lost it. But they worried about nothing, as their fingers closed around the hilt of their knife.

Usually it was used to cut up fruit or dry meats, to mark a direction in a tree. So for the small things, they even had opened one or the other container with it. But desperate situations called for desperate measures, like using an innocent knife as a weapon.

Knife held tightly in their grip, they decided that their biggest problem at the moment was the tail of the serpent, that was wrapped around their ankle. So without further prompting they pulled their body closer to their ankle and started cutting, already expecting a violent reaction from their foe.

They cut as quickly as they could, and soon a green secretion came from the wound, most likely the blood of this particular creature. Even through the water they could hear the screech of the serpent, which only urged them on to cut faster.

They saw how the serpent started to curl on itself, readying itself to attack them. Apparently it didn´t like it´s food alive any more, or to be more precise it didn´t like them alive any more. When it shot forward, they thought for a second that it was over.

But at that moment the tail came loose, and they kicked their feet, to get back to the water surface, feeling a pain radiating from their ankle in waves. They felt how the monster, barely shot past them. Feet kicking as hard as they could, desperate to get back to the surface and back to breathing.

When they broke through, they gasped, breathing hard, but they knew that didn´t have any time to relax and get their breathing back under control, so they steered towards the shore, and the safety it promised.

It made them anxious that the sea serpent hadn´t appeared yet, but they didn´t want to waste their time on these thoughts, and started to pull them back onto dry ground. They were dripping with water, and their clothes were clinging uncomfortably to them.

They were somewhat were the fight started. With shaking fingers they tucked their knife back into it´s designated coat pockets, and looked around for their sword, picking at their clothes in the meantime to get some freedom of movement back. They didn´t know how much time they had till the serpent was back to trying to kill them.

The moment they saw it, the beast broke through the water surface roaring. Flinching they tried running to get their sword, but let out a shout when they noticed that their ankle hurt more than they had expected, where they previously thought that they had just twisted it, it seemed now a lot more serious.

Gritting their teeth together, they started running anyway. The sound of the serpent slithering across the ground following them. They grabbed their sword as quickly as they could and whirled around.

The sea serpent was right in front of them, it´s blueish scales glinting in the light of the dying sun, it´s jaw unhinged, fangs glittering like pearls, and it´s head reared back, ready to attack. As it´s head shot forwards they took a quick step to the side and swung their sword down in an arc.

In the next moment they were covered in the green slime, the serpents body still twitching. It´s head laying a little further away. They exhaled shakily, and with a hollow clank their sword hit the ground as it slipped from their numb fingers. They were shaking from the close encounter with death they had made today.

Their knees scrapped open when they feel to the ground, not having the strength any more to hold themself up. Blood dripped steadily across their nose, their hair matted down and clinging to their scalp, where a wound was slowly leaking.

As they pressed their eyes close, a few tears escaped them. Silently they started to chuckle to themself, so it wasn´t true what people said. You didn´t see your whole life flashing by when you died. They surely hadn´t want to find that out for themself, but that is simply how life plays sometimes.

With a tired sigh, they tried to put their feet back under them. Their work here was done, as exhausting as it was.


	15. Eavesdropper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t think I can face them any more. How can I after what I have done to them?

Their hand still raised to knock, the other closed in a tight fist at their side, they stopped. Slowly the hand that was raised fell back to their side, and with a defeated sigh their forehead gently connected with the door in front of them, making no sound that would have been heard by the people inside the house.

It appears the news, that they had wanted to bring, to their old friend were quicker than they themself were, and it really had been news that should have been brought by them personally. Everything else was just plain cruel. They listened to the sobs of their friend, mourning what was lost, the consoling words of her husband ringing in their ears.

They suppressed a sob of their own. It truly was unfair what their friend had to endure, and what was worse that they couldn´t help them any more. After all they were just as much at fault here, as the nobles they had just left. They were the one that had landed the killing blow in the end.

The wailing from inside just grew louder, the shushing more insistent. They regretted ever answering that letter. Their friend could have led a much, maybe not happy, but easier and less painful life. She wouldn´t have to go through the pain she had to endure now, experiencing a loss no one should.

They slowly sunk to their knees, crying quietly, gripping the thing inside their fist more tightly, it´s soft edges, still cutting into their skin, with the force they used to clench their hand around it.

With a shuddering breath they kept listening to what was happening inside. He was still trying to console her, even though everybody knew that she would cry for a long time. The things he told in his attempts of comfort were lies, beautiful lies, that spoke of trust in them.

A silent gasp escaped them, their friends had trusted them, and they, they had done nothing with it, they had disappointed their friends, they were the one that was the reason for this tragedy.

Blood started to drip down their hands, and with teary eyes they watched it fall. The thing that they had held on this whole time was coated with their blood now, and a curved wound, left to scar, joined the countless other on their hands.

With shaking hands, they started to clean it off. They couldn´t give it to their dear friends, when it was this dirty. What if she saw the blood and thought it was from her-

Their mind blanked, and a fresh wave of tears rolled down their cheeks. Another thought made them stop in their tracks crossed their mind. If they gave it personally to their friend, they would have to meet face to face. They didn´t think that was something they could bear.

Gently they kept wiping off the blood, when they were satisfied that no tracks of the liquid were left, they gently laid it down. It would be visible, when someone stepped through the door, but they had to ensure that it was found before someone else stole it.

With a breath they readied themself for what they would have to do now. Doing a quick check-up of their surrounding to find a good place where they could run to, they stood back up. A quick and sharp nock at the door, and then they immediately turned to run.

Before the door opened, they had hid themself behind another house. With bathed breath they watched how their friends opened the door. She looked sick, and he didn´t look any better, which was understandable. Their heart broke as they saw how she whimpered when she caught sight of the locket in front of their door. She snatched it up to press against her chest, bowing her head.

Vartouhi lifted her head back up and whispered a broken _"Thank you"_ , that the wind swept across an empty street, because they already down what they did best. Running away.


	16. Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I have found something worth fighting for. It isn´t what I had expected when I started out.
> 
> Because it is so much more than I have ever expected to have.

Everyone has something that they can´t live without. Something that is and always will be important to that person, something that living without may not be possible. Something that people thrive for in their live, that these people will fight for with all their might.

They were no different.

Usually it was something like alcohol, when others thought about addiction, a pipe which smoke curls through the air. Yes, these were truly the pictures of addiction, that were painted in the mind of people.

That wasn´t what addiction is.

Addiction was the sight of your partner after decades and your heart still beats the rhythm it had played the first time, the same smile on your face, the same feeling in your mind. The inability to live without them any more.

It was the woman that stood up early every morning to watch the sun rise, to see how the colours played across the sky. The extra step she made every day, to fulfil the desire.

The child who laid in the grass was an addict too. It just had to watch the clouds, and peace overcame it all the time, when it did. It was something it did excessively, to the annoyance of it´s peers.

They were addicted too. They didn´t know what it was, but they knew it was the reason that they couldn´t stay in one place for long, they often thought about what it could be, and decided already against a few things.

The fighting surely wasn´t it. They always dreaded the sensation of adrenaline flooding through their veins, the desperation not to lose, not to die, and then they always saw the end. It was always bloody, always a sight to mourn.

Sometimes at the end of a fight, things they didn´t want to be true, became true, like the fact that some monsters were just that, hungry monsters. These incidents were normal, and they didn´t hurt as badly as when they were proven wrong.

When the monster that they had fought, was just someone desperate to survive as they were, when it was just someone who wanted just one person who didn´t hate them, when it was just someone who had lost their mind for a moment, when it was sometimes only an innocent child who didn´t even know what they were doing. A sense of mourning overcame them always then, so that they couldn´t even cry any more for the fallen.

One time they fought it might be an addiction to helping people, like a weird hero complex, but that wasn´t it. The idea of helping people was always tainted with the pain of loosing someone or something.

It wasn´t something that filled them with peace, not even for a single moment, so all in all, not an addiction, even though they repeated their patter over and over.

Maybe it was the running once upon a time. It was a thing they were awfully good at after all, but there was always an underlying fear in their steps now. They didn´t know when it had started that fear accompanied them on their travel every step on the way.

Though they had found what their addiction was.  
Maybe it was simply how they had made the world their home. No matter where they went or who they would meet, they would always be home.


	17. Dictionary Definition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My word when opening up my dictionary to a random word was "Voyage"
> 
> * * *
> 
> It´s gonna take a while till you find what you are searching for, you will go through several errors, but at the end the revelation will mean a lot.
> 
> At least that was the case for me.

They were young when they had packed all their belongings in a bag and decided that they would never come back. The decision to find a new place that was just made for them. There were many reasons for their department, but one thing will always be the most important. They simply didn´t feel comfortable and safe any more.

The first decision was fulfilled till now. They really had never gone back to the place that they had originated from. They obsessively avoided everything that was connected to their home town too, may it be news or people that came from that area. After all their decision to leave was one that they had long thought over, and not just some impulse. They had made a promise to themself to never go back, and they never intended to break it.

So when they left, they left the place behind completely.

Their second decision was never really achieved. No matter where they tried to stay, something always felt wrong. At this point they were sure, that staying in a village might simply not be for them.

No, they didn´t give up on that desire or anything, because whenever they tried to stay, routine tried to settle in. Something they apparently detested. They couldn´t feel satisfied with the same surroundings day in, day out.

This was what had pushed them on a ship once. They had thought that on a voyage across the sea, their surroundings couldn´t stay the same. They were right the scenery changed constantly, but still they left at the next harbour with the same feeling as always.

Their departing of the ship had several reasons. One was that they apparently got sea sick, rather quickly they might add. They had a headache the whole time, and it felt like everything was turning and dancing around them. They also had lost, while on sea, the ability to keep their food down, which was more tragic than they would ever admit.

The other reason was, that they had still felt uncomfortable the whole time, at first they had chalked it up completely to the sea sickness, but they would soon prove themself wrong.

So they joined a group of nomads a few months later. They liked the people and the women and men welcomed them with open arms. A usual pastime for them was watching over the children, when they continued their journey. They always lend a helping hand to the tribe and felt happy for a long time.

But they left these people too.

After a while, maybe a month or two, anxiety settled into their motions. They became jittery and jumped at the smallest of sounds. The casual touches of the people, a pat on the back as a compliment for good work, a child clinging to their clothes, a mother who pulls their hair back when it fell into their face, all these became almost painful.

In the middle of the night, they just walked away with a quiet farewell, that no one heard.

Afterwards they took on the road alone, their company was usually short-lived, either left behind in a village or mournfully deceased.

Well, anyway, they had realized that maybe their place wasn´t simply with the same people. Maybe the place that was made for them was the open road, the countless opportunities that the world had to offer to them.

It was a voyage, across land and sea, through light and dark, through heart and mind, a voyage of self-discovery till they had found out that maybe the world was made for them and not a village.


	18. Cleaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t think that what I do, is really healthy for me after all.

Everyone on this beautiful and exhausting planet probably had chores. Yes, everyone! They wouldn´t believe that sometimes the high and mighty didn´t have to do stuff these people would rather not. Otherwise, they would snap, and that never ends well.

Back on topic. Everyone has chores. Stuff they have to do, when they would rather do something else. It may be sweeping the floors, tending to the farm animals, cooking up a meal. The possibilities were endless.

For some it might be the treading to convoluted contracts, to find loopholes or other things that just didn´t make sense, other might have to sign these aforementioned contracts off.

Some people may have to push themselves through conversation they would rather avoid, but thus is life. You can´t like everyone and not everybody will like you, and sometimes, well most times you will have to do things you would rather avoid or think are beneath you.

They themself would like to avoid this.

The blood was still dripping down their fingers, or at leat what passed for blood for this sea serpent. It´s green slime-like blood had them covered more than they expected. With a look at their sword they made sure that they hadn´t chipped it or something equally stupid, when they had just hit the monster without looking, luckily their sword was fine.

They on the other hand not so much. With a sigh they watched slightly cross-eyed how their own red blood dripped down their nose. Their ankle still hurt like hell, whenever they put a little weight back on it. Knees were bleeding too. Their trousers needed to be fixed, alas so would be their shirt too. Both were riddled with holes at this point.

Now that they started to think about it, they had to find their coat and their bag too, though they didn´t quite remember where they lost those. Well, they would their things, probably. They would worry about that later.

With a tired sigh they tried to brush the blood out off their face, only succeeding in smearing it more broadly across their face, but at least it didn´t bother them that strongly any more, blowing their hair out off their eyesight, they turned to their next task.

The blueish scales still reflected light in a scattered pattern, almost like a broken mosaic. They pushed themself to go pick up the head, just for a second they admired the beauty this beast still possessed even in it´s gruesome death, before bile started to rise in their throat. Either because of their disgust or their injuries.

They spat it to the side, and wiped their mouth with their torn sleeve. The hit to their head might also be worse than they had previously thought. Promising themself to deal with that later, they continued with what they had already started.

Severed head still in their grip, they searched for a place that would be good for a pyre. They had to walk for a while till they found ground that wouldn´t immediately kill a fire before it even started. They just let go off the head and trudged back to get the rest of the body and drag it here. How troublesome.

Corpse, after a few minutes in which the clearing was filled with curses, on a pile, they started to search for their bag. They had to have lost it somewhere around here. Carefully they scanned the ground, when they saw no sign of their bag, they resigned themself for leaving through the bushes. Hopefully their belongings had somehow ended up there.

A victorious howl, as unheard by others as their cursing was, announced that they had actually found their stuff. Somehow in a tree, probably landed there when they were thrown through the air by a vicious headbutt, courtesy of the beast, but they had found it, after fumbling their way up the tree, to grasp at least the strap. With an ungraceful thud, they landed on the ground, when their ankle complained again.

Scuffling through their bag, brought ford a lighter, that was hidden among the other stuff they carried with them. Hopefully that would be enough to light up the still oozing corpse like a bonfire. They stopped, thinking about how they could light u this thing without setting fire to themself immediately too.

Standing in front of the pile, they played with their lighter before an idea came to them. They picked up a few stray sticks, lighting them on fire individually, before throwing them lightly towards the corpse of the sea snake. That way they would hopefully be spared of any stray sparks setting them on fire.

An insistent crackling arose, when the corpse started to smoke. Grey curls of the heavy smoke drifted towards the sky. They took a step back to watch them, with a frown on their face. They didn´t really regret killing the sea snake, but they thought that they were more actions that could have been taken, instead of this.

The flames let lights flicker across their face, in a fast rhythm. At the moment they look positively nightmarish, with their torn clothes and the dried blood, both red and green, covering them head to toe.

They sighed, yes, everybody had chores, this was simply theirs.


	19. Great Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think she really is someone I came to admire of our shared time, even though we´re nothing alike.

Their mind was an unforgiving place, if they had to be honest.

Fears were running wildly across the space without any sense of direction or order. These fears would crawl into the smallest spaces and the tinniest corners, slowly infecting everything they could reach., making every step a precautious stumble.

Anxiety of routine, of habit, of interaction with others, tended to just barge in. Uncaring of the fact that it may not be wanted, it definitely never was. It was like an annoying houseguest you simply couldn´t get rid of, even if you threw them out the door. It always came back.

Happiness and Solace both sat in a corner and were hiding, there would be moments when they would peak out of their hideout, concealed into one of the few corners left that fear hadn´t infected yet, but that rarely happened. Usually they hid somewhere because Trauma was on the prowl, and tore into them as soon as it became aware of them.

Regret was somehow just sitting there, right in the middle of the mess, a glass of wine in hand and just getting drunk. It had lost the capability to care a few years ago, and it wouldn´t start again anytime soon. Bottles, both empty and full, were scattered around it, and sometimes some of the more prominent feelings would stumble over them and knock themselves out.

All in all their mind tended to be a mess, a loud and screaming mess, that they had learned to survive with, and sometimes to even feel satisfied with, but nonetheless still a mess.

Vartouhi was somehow different.

They knew that she had a few problems of her own, but for some reason she never seemed like an accident waiting to happen, unlike them. Many people seemed to think that they were only one bad day away from going completely off the rails. These people weren´t wrong, but still, they had practised a lot of self-control for that reason in their life.

Vartouhi on the other hand, doesn´t have an ounce of self-control, when something annoyed her, it was verly likely that she would just start to scream. Still people somehow didn´t think of her as particularly dangerous. A mistake, if anyone would ask them, but no one did, like always.

She also always had for the emergency case a sweet lie at hand. They weren´t quite sure if their friend thought them up, before the two of them even got into the situation, or if she was really that quick on such short notice, and very convincing too. They themself couldn´t be bothered to lie, people tended to believe whatever these idiots wanted anyway.

No Vartouhi was someone to be admired, even though she had a few faults on her own, she was always there for the people that needed her. They hoped that one day they could maybe be just like her.

That they could be there for those that may eventually come to need them one day, even though that thought terrified them more, than every beast they ever had encountered in their life before.

Hah! But they were sure that maybe they would find people worth fighting for, worth putting their life on the line for.

Watching Vartouhi scold the man in front of her loudly and quite colourfully too, they didn´t know, what they had yet to face.


	20. Missed Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys, actually the prompt went that I should find something on craigslist under the tag "Missed Connections", but I didn´t really know how to acess that, so I wrote something that will tie things later together, at least I hope that it will...
> 
> * * *
> 
> Maybe all I did was just what fate had in store for me. Maybe I really could´t have done anything differently from the way I did. Maybe it was really just destiny that h-
> 
> __  
> **NO!**  
> 
> 
> I can´t let that thought take over what I had believed in for so long. So there might be guides, so there might be paths beyond our comprehension, but I won´t, I can´t give in. I can´t give in. Not after what happened.

There were many connections that were never made in a lifetime, and some that were so obscure, that you will miss them till more time had passed, and maybe even then you won´t discover the whole extent of the net that fate spun around you, or it will be far too late. It happened a lot already and would happen many more times. But you shouldn´t worry about that, it will happen like before, regardless of your intervening or not.

Fate spun connections more intricate than any seamstress could ever manage. Even the smallest threat, that didn´t look like much, and might be rather plain, would be part of the bigger picture, that she was sewing together, to tell a story with her art, like no one did before. But you yourself could only follow the thread that described your life, and you, like a thread would cross so many more people and their threads, becoming part of a tangle that fate will soon describe. Don´t worry if your thread seems plain at the moment too, because they were spun to be the most colourful thing in existence, so nothing was really plain or boring, in it´s connections.

They for example would have never connected that Culprit would one day be the tie that would bring Vartouhi and her husband together. Just because Culprit had found him on that full moon night, and they themself were friends with her. But that was all it had taken, admittedly through some shenanigans, that the two would become a couple after a few years.

Nor would they ever had connected the raven with the friendship it would bring into their life, and later on so much grief and pain, that felt like it was ripping them apart. But that is what happened. They still tended to hear the excited cackling of the raven, whenever they had talked to Vartouhi, which happened less than ever before since they knew each other, and it´s sad mournful song when everything fell inevitably apart.

They had learned to listen to the signs that the world showed them, sometimes a bird would suddenly perch upon their shoulder, or a deer would stare at them. In general an animal appearing right in front of them tended to be a sign, they avoided ignoring. They had learned their lesson, and that painfully.

They weren´t always sure what these single signs meant. No, most of the time they were just partially aware of an impression they got from these animals. Sometimes in tune with what they imagined the animals would represent, and sometimes very wrong from what they first would have guessed.

The raven became a sign of short-lived happiness, that was so exhilarating that life seemed so much fuller, seemed colourful and like nothing could go wrong, but also came with overwhelming grief in the aftermath, that couldn´t be avoided no matter what actions were taken.

The deer meant, surprisingly, danger, and when they saw a fawn, it meant that they were in mortal peril. The moment they had realized the meaning of this animal, they couldn´t stop themself from laughing for a long time, but who would have expected a fawn to be the sign of danger.

When a wolf crossed their path, it meant that they would soon cross paths with someone that would need their company, more than their help. It became the sign of companionship, of the absence of loneliness. At first surprising, was the lone wolf something that they were often described as, till they realized that wolves tended to be pack animals. After all the pack survives, when the lone wolf dies.

Sometimes they tended to still ignore certain signs, not wanting them to be true, but they proved themselves over and over for them, and so they had to resign themself to the existence of these spiritual guides. They didn´t waver in the way they would go, no matter what fate would tell them, but they would instead ready themself for what might be waiting for them at their destination.

And so they trudged on with their life. Uncaring of what might happen, but still careful.


	21. Foreclosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have to leave, otherwise I would just start screaming one day and never stop

Hastily they grabbed a few things, their bag was open laying on their bed, and they threw everything in that they had on hand and worked for in their life. What they had made with their resources, or what they had stolen when nobody had watched, what they had fished out of the thrown away when they could. These things were the only ones that were truly important to them.

What was given to them, by those who expected respect and devotion without ever being the cause of it, well, those things would be left behind. These things had no place to accompany them, and they would rather jump into the open maw of a dragon, before they would carry the memories of these people with them either.

A wooden bird, a raven to be exact, flew hazardly into the bag too. They just threw it over their shoulder, they felt like their time was running out. No one could say when these bastards would be back after all. An old book took the same way, landing slightly left to the bag, it would be later stuffed inside with the rest.

Their room, even though prison cell might be a better word for it, started to look more barren than it had ever before. They had always done their best t bring some life into this room, bringing in flowers and leaves, hanging up the last scraps of fabric, that couldn´t be used any more.

But now? Everything was gone, the little wooden sculptures that they had carved were already in the bag, books that they had pilfered and stolen where ever they could, that before were piled up in a neat little stack, were put away, they would carry these with them, till they would one day loose some of the books.

Scraps of fabric became the lining of their coat. They would travel far, far away. The weather wouldn´t stay the same as it was here. Maybe they would be able to afford a real travellers coat, but for now they had to be happy with the mismatched little thing of fabric, that had made their life more colourful than it was before.

They didn´t know what would await them once they had crossed the border. But as they tied their bag shut and threw it across their shoulder, they were sure that they would be capable of facing it. Throwing on their coat, they pulled the strings to close it. The closing mechanism was a little funny working, they had no clue how to actually make something like that, but oh well, maybe they will add one-day buttons or something like that.

They stopped at the door, looked one last time around the space that was supposed their safe haven, but failed at that spectacularly. The only things left, were the things they really didn´t want to take with them, and so they stepped out of their room, leaving the house behind too.

No one stopped them and why should these people, their neighbour hadn´t cared before so why would they care now. They scoffed, and trudged forward. They knew that no one cared about them, but it still sometimes hurt to see it so blatantly.

Passing by a fawn, they made their way. They were young, that was true, but they already knew that they weren´t welcome here. Silently they promised themself to never come back here, and that they would have to find their home somewhere else.

Making their way into the world, they didn´t know it would take a long time, till they ever found a place that welcomed them, and even longer that they would realize where their home was.


	22. Smoke, Fog and Haze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn´t actually expect that it would be that bad, but well, somethings you just gotta see for yourself. And all this trouble just because-
> 
> Ah, it doesn´t matter at the moment...

When they were called to the city by a friend they hadn´t expected this much mayhem, a little chaos sure, but not whatever this was, when they would eventually arrive. Apparently the problem Vartouhi had originally written, in a letter that was tear stained and with several words getting started, before they would be scratched out again or left unfinished, about had already got far out of their hands. Only the deities knew how to resolve this utter chaos peacefully, and maybe even those might be left clueless.

The city was burning, citizens screaming at every corner, and they still hadn´t found Vartouhi. A child was screaming for it´s mother, who laid without movement under a burning log. Everyone else was too absorbed in their own escaping to realize what was happening. They sighed, apparently they would have to do more than they expected before. With keen eyes they looked around, and found just a few meters away a man, who had rather uncanny similarity to the crying child, and so they started moving.

With a gentle hand they gripped the child and began to pull it away, it howled louder than before, and they shoved into the hands of the man who looked worried at the scene. Tears were in his eyes and he kept whimpering about his wife. They clapped him on the back and told him to flee. With a few stumbles at the start, he got his feet under him, and started running.

Smoke started to descend onto the city, which made it harder to breathe. Dragon fire was always tricky to work around if they had to be honest. They rummaged around in their bag, before they found the scarf that they had searched for, quickly tying it around their face. Maybe they wouldn´t poison themself like this with the smoke.

Another parent on their path seemed to scream at a heap of burning house parts, clawing at them to desperately lift them up from their loved ones. Without hesitation, they adjusted their leather gloves, to help get the buried people out. When they managed the family started running without being reminded by them of the danger they were in. Smart people.

It went on like this. They kept trudging through the burning city, that was hit again and again with another wave of dragon fire, eating through everything in it´s path, helping those that couldn´t free themselves, and sending those on the run to find safety again. All the while still keeping an eye out for Vartouhi, wherever she may be at the moment.

Some seemed to realize that they held no ill will against them and flocked to them, trying to call for help, others were still wary of their presence, connecting their sudden appearance to the fire, ravaging the city.

These people weren´t wrong by any means. They were after all connected to the fire, but not in the way these guys thought. They weren´t the cause for it, and instead came originally here to prevent what was happening in this very moment.

Obviously they failed. They were too late to prevent anything, and what was needed they didn´t have with them either. Apparently the leaves needed for the medicine had all died out a few years ago, even though they were sure that some would have surely collected this rare plant.

Dodging another log, that was burning, and immediately splintered into pieces the embers setting small fires off on their own, absent-minded they noticed that the heat was rather tame, compared to what a full-fledged dragon usually spit when it was raging, they cast a bored look around. The smoke was getting thicker by the second, and many were coughing, having inhaled too much of it, but the citizens still seemed fine, running around and still screaming.

All the people that were left seemed to be focused on evacuating, actually pulling through without facing any more problems. With that safely taken care off, they turned to find their old friend, she had to be around somewhere.

With quick steps they moved on, starting to become desperate to find Vartouhi, when more time passed without a single sign of the little family, she was part of, and they were supposed to meet with.

The dragon roared loudly in the distance, and another wave of the burning fire drowned the city.


	23. Sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t mind coming over just to watch over them. I hope they also don´t mind I sometimes stay with them

They pulled a few faces, they were doing this at this point in time for quite a while. Stretching their tongue out, they put their hand straight in front of their nose, wiggling their fingers, while they let their eyes go cross-eyed.

Sweet giggling reached their ears, and they chuckled on their own too. The toddler in front of them was punching his little fists up and down in excitement. He was sitting in front of them. They took a small ball and gently rolled it to the toddler.

His eyes tracked the ball suddenly, and he reminded them more than ever of a cat. He pawed at the ball till he managed to roll it back into their general direction. Catching the ball the rolled it back to him.

_"Are the two of you having fun?"_

They whipped around, staring at the man that apparently had been quite enough to not be noticed by them till now.

_"Lochan! You´re back already? Vartouhi said that you´ll be longer gone."_

They jumped up from the floor and went in to hug the shaggy haired man. He awkwardly patted them on the back. They noticed as they pulled away that he was holding a plate and dish rag in one of his hands.

_"How long where you actually here, Lochan? Because I gotta be honest with you, right now it looks like you didn´t just walk through the door, you know?"_

He started laughing, bending down to pick up his son, carefully balancing him on one hip and walking back into the kitchen. They followed him quietly, it kind of bugged them that they hadn´t heard him coming in and apparently starting to wash the dishes.

_"Your situational awareness isn´t what it used to be, huh?"_

_"Shut it, Lochen! My awareness of my surroundings is fine. You´re just freakishly quiet. Ever thought ´bout that!"_

Their only answer was a laugh. They rolled their eyes. Vartouhi never laughed at them, but Lochan always made fun of them, if they gave him the opportunity. Ardito, the toddler, giggled alongside his father, and they quickly pulled another grimace in retaliation while Lochan wasn´t looking.

They started grumbling, when they realized that Lochan had never contradicted them and two pairs of slitted pupils blinked owlishly at them. Waving their hand, both the toddler and the grown man shifted their attention back to what they were doing. They just watched father and son play a few games when suddenly they were startled.

_"You know that you can go, right?"_

A confused hum escaped them, and they squinted their eyes at Lochan. Did he want them gone? No, that couldn´t be they were supposed to be friends, but what if he wasn´t and only put up with them for the sake of his relationship with his wife.

_"Don´t look like that! You´re always welcome here! And you should know that by now, no? It´s just, I know that you stayed here for a while now. Both of us were gone, and I´m grateful for you jumping in to help us out, but I also know that you don´t like staying."_

They huffed relieved. So he didn´t secretly hate them, that was good.

_"And you´re kinda tapping your foot and staring into the distance. So if you want to go, you don´t have to stay, you can go. We´ll see each other soon enough anyway, won´t we"_

Quietly they hummed their agreement and collected their bag and coat. Lochan and his son were waiting by the door for them and when they walked away the two guys waved at them.

They waved back with a quiet _"Goodbye"_.


	24. Numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Numbers always had some kind of meaning in mythology, but I never put a lot of thought into what they really could mean.

One.

Such a small amount, but just enough that it can change everything. On it´s own it is almost never significant, only given importance through the following, which it will define it. It was never something good.

They hated to remember what if felt like when they were one day, one minute or simply one moment too late. The worst thing for them will always be to come to a place that was already devastated, without any chance of repair, with no chance to help, and just because they were one moment too late.

Two.

A number which almost negates loneliness. It is always two of a pair, and the first thing that comes to mind with the number two is a pair of lovers, of friendship, or of camaraderie.

They on the other hand weren´t really used to any of that. People tended to leave them, and they themself could never stay either. They were always on the run, to where they didn´t even know themself.

Three.

Usually a number with some sort of magical meaning, a number which already brings repetition. A number that is commonly used for everything, it is after all still easy, to remember three things. This number also implies a group instead of a pair like the one above or loneliness like the first.

They carefully took three deep breaths as their thoughts still kept racing around their head, but they slowly began focusing back on what was happening around them. Listening they carefully counted how far they were away from the danger. Another three breaths and they were sure what they had to do now.

Four.

Some would say that this number represents death. An unlucky number at it´s core, and nobody can change that, but the seasons themselves are represented by this number, a cycle of death and rebirth. So maybe it really wasn´t that much of an unlucky number.

They quickly ducked under another stream of fire that went right above their head, evading death for about the fourth time that day. Hissing, they frantically patted a small flame on their shoulder out, not wanting the rest of the coat to catch fire.

Five.

An amount that was easily countable, and lost all importance to people beside that. It seemed like they wilfully ignored that a lot of things tended to be a group of this number, though it was almost always unnoticeable.

A stone flew past them, and they released a sharp hiss, when it cut open their cheek. This was the fifth wound they had acquired in something that was supposed to be peaceful conversation. The situation was looking worse than they expected it too at the start, and still no way to resolve things had come to them. They were still working blind staying focused on surviving the contact.

Six.

A number most commonly associated with evil on some parts of the world. But it is also a perfect number, and in other parts commonly used in protection spells.

They started sprinting behind the next rock. Their sword which they had lost was closer than ever, just a little bit closer, and they could reach it maybe again. They felt the heat warm up the rock they were leaning against, but their sixth hiding place was holding strong, and not melting like their last protection had.

Seven

For some a union of the spiritual and the physical, for others simply luck, and others used that number as the time of mourning. Many put some sort of significance into this number, and this has taken many forms over time.

They waited till the heat at their back vanished. One last deep breath and then they were running. Seven steps and they could get their hands back on their sword again. One. The dragon scales were still glimmering from the heat of his last attack. Two. The glow was faster receding than the previously thought. Three. The dragons head snapped to their position. Four. It´s eyes narrowed themselves into slits. Five. The dragon made a threatening step forward. Six. It opened it´s maw wide. Seven. They grasped their sword and twirled around to face the beast.


	25. Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t even know what they are thinking! Do they just think that I´m just an emotionless grunt or why do they ask this atrocity of me.
> 
> I don´t think I can stay around them after this any longer.

Their face darkened, eyebrows drawing together, a scowl taking a prominent place on their face, as they realized what exactly was asked of them. An overwhelming force of sadness came over them for just a moment, only to be chased off by another emotion, much more prominent and stronger what they felt before. Rage was beginning to come off of them in noticeable waves, so thickly that one could probably cut it with a simple bread knife.

But their friends didn´t notice their sudden mood, and Vartouhi kept babbling. She kept connecting word with each other in a matter that made no sense to them. What she was saying went against everything they thought to know about her. How could the passionate woman she was supposed to be so unemotional for this topic.

A growl quietly, but insistent ripped itself from their throat across the space between them and the small family missing one member across from them, and suddenly everything was quiet, exepct for them.

They couldn´t push the anger down any more, and it flowed as a heady rumbling into their vocal cords. Their voice dropping in tone, a constant growling accompanying their every breath and their voice, which they had forced so often to sound gentle and trustworthy. Now it referenced the call of a beast more than ever.

Their eyes were squinted, but one could still see the volatile storm brewing behind their eyes in their mind. Even their hair had been pushed away from their skin as if electrified. Soot and ash still covering their face from their previous escapades. They pulled themself up to their full height for the first time in a long time, using it to be intimidating, instead of the usual protection they tried to broadcast to everyone they met.

When they finally spoke it was a roar, _"Vartouhi!"_ , they snapped, their teeth clacking together audibly, with a force that could have been dangerous if they were to actually attack her, and go for her throat. _"Are you really implying what I think you are!"_ , unconsciously they started to gnash their sharp teeth now together, an unpleasant noise, even when they weren´t aggravated. _"Does this truly mean so little to you! I never would have taken you for such a disgusting personality!"_ They slowly relaxed their jaw again, not wanting to break one of their teeth just because they were angry.

They were breathing hard, and Vartouhi had taken a step back, looking stricken. Lochan put an arm in front of her, as if he was trying to protect her from them. They spat out a short sharp growling noise in his direction, which was only met with a raised eyebrow. On hand, they couldn´t believe that he thought that she needed protection from them, on the other hand they could still feel that sick feeling coursing through their veins, which made them want to vomit. The ill newborn in Lochan´s other arm began crying, the noise of the argument finally getting to him, and consequently waking him up.

_"It is the only chance we have!"_ , Vartouhi screamed back at them looking desperate to know, they were glad that she started to show emotions, because the thought that this may leave her really this cold was killing them. _"You know how those people are, they will kill him, but if you go-"_ , she paused, and they started to glower again, _"If you go, we maybe get the medicine. You couldn´t find the herbs anywhere, and we know the noble have a stash. So if you deal with him, then maybe you can get the medicine we need."_

She quietened down, looking at the ground and carefully grabbing the still wailing newborn, trying to cal him down with silent shushing noises, which only aggravated them more. His voice was raspy, it was clear to anyone that Clement wasn´t exactly healthy any more, maybe won´t survive the winter when it came in this condition. But still that was no excuse for what their oldest friend was asking of them, and the way she tried to guilt-trip them into doing it.

_"Why you so quiet!"_ , they growled viciously, turning towards Lochan, who had stayed quiet the whole time, staying out of the fight and simply fading onto the background, _"You got nothing to add!"_

Lochan staid quiet a little longer, and they saw that he gently breathed in, and carefully angled his body so that he could try to pacify them by appearing non-threatening. Not that it was working. Stupid mutt. He looked unsure but then quietly added, _"I don´t think that he will come out off this alive, no matter if you´re involved or not. But so we might still get what we want."_

They snorted in disgust by his easily caving in, but now they tried to wrangle with their rage. They really couldn´t believe that their dearest friends would turn out to be like this. But no matter how many calming breaths they tried to take, how hopeful they tried to be, their rage couldn´t be quelled, not with what they were asked to do.

_"You are aware that this will be on you, right? That you will be sacrificing him on the off chance that they might give you what you want!"_ , apparently calming down hadn´t worked because they were back at screaming as loud as they could, _"You really are willing to put his life on the line for such a small chance? Are you crazy!"_ There was still that feeling as if they would vomit any second now.

They opened their mouth to continue their screaming when they were interrupted by a small _"I know"_ , from Vartouhi, which shut them up. Lochan just nodded sadly along to his wife´s sentiment. They weren´t sure if the couple really knew what they were asking, or what the consequences of this nonsense are.

This passiveness of their friends, people they had maybe once considered family, drove them up against the wall, and their growl was back full force. They couldn´t believe that their friends would just give up on this, wouldn´t fight any more, just because an easier option was presented to them.

Closing their eyes they turned their eyes to the mountains. This really wasn´t what they had expected when they were searching for the family in the flames, when that dreaded letter came. At this moment they decided that it was the last letter they would ever read from Vartouhi. This was also the last request they would ever take from her too. Regret already spread through their mind, filling their head with scenarios of what would have happened if they hadn´t arrived on time.

Opening their eyes they scanned the mountains, and there he was. The dragon was dipping in and out of sight, just as angry as they themself were, but the only difference was, that the dragon was still young and didn´t know what was coming for him.

_"Fine. Have it your way!"_ , they grounded out between gritted teeth. Their decision made. They had pressed their teeth so hard together, that a sharp pain shot through their jaw. They gripped their sword tight and stomped off into the direction of the mountains. Bracing themself for something that would break their heart forever.

_"I´m sorry"_ , came quietly from Vartouhi.

They just gnashed their teeth together again and spat out a _ **"Fuck you!"**_ , without turning around again to face the family, and instead starting to focus o what was about to happen. They couldn´t look at the family any more, not with the knowledge of what was about to happen. Not only that, but they would have to face someone they knew since birth. Someone who had grown to be very dear to them. Just because his parents would sacrfice him for a chance, for an empty promise.

They stomped off to face Ardito.


	26. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew that people will always fear the unknown. 
> 
> I also know that I will always stay an unknown.

Fear is the natural emotion to anything unknown or dangerous. Even though the unknown might be dangerous only as long as it is unknown. Fear lets your heart race, lets your pupils go wide, and your body will move into an automatic fight or flight response.

They saw his response being triggered, and so had enough time to block the claws that were coming for their face, and grip his other arm hard, hindering his escape attempt. He watched them with fear full eyes, and tried to tear himself out of their grip, but they stayed unyielding.

It often happened that they put fear into someone. They knew what they looked liked, and even though they always tried to appear as non-threatening as possible they usually failed, and people still watched them warily. Though it wasn´t their fault, that they never got quite rid of the dark stains decorating their clothing, and the small scent of blood wafting around them.

The man in front of them started to calm down again, giving up his fight. In response, he just let himself be held up by them. They raised their eyebrow at him. This wasn´t quite what they ha expected.

They heard the distinct noise of Culprit approaching, and they inclined their head towards him. He just gave them a soft snort, messing up their hair, and letting a few strands flutter in the air. They chuckled slightly, till their attention snapped back to the man, they were still holding instantly.

_"Do it already!"_

He was whimpering, clenching his eyes shut. With a confused hum, they let go off him, and he connected rather hard with the forest floor, because he made no attempt to catch himself. They came down to be on eye-level with him, and noticed that his breathing was getting more and more erratic. He seemed to be shaking too.

_"You are a monster hunter, aren´t you?"_

Ah! Suddenly everything became a little clearer. Laughing they shook their head, and now it was his turn to be confused. Of course, the werewolf would think that a person like them would be a monster hunter, with their attitude, looks and weapons, but they really weren´t.

They told him as much, which left him a little floundering, and them still laughing. When they stopped an awkward tension spread between them. After a while they just stood up with a huff and readied a camping fire.

It was still night after all, only the moon had already vanished, but still. They wanted to eat something and sleep wasn´t sounding too bad either. As they were preparing the food, the man started to quietly slip away.

_"Come eat with me, and tomorrow we go back to town"_

That halted the man in his steps, and he carefully turned around to look at them. They just hold the food they had pulled out of their back in his general direction. He hesitated, and they waved it, being a bit more insistent.

He sighed and came back, just letting himself fall to the ground and gently took the food out of their hands. They searched for one of the apples in their bag, and while the fire was slowly building up, they started to cut it into pieces, with the knife they usually hid in their boots, for Culprit. Sometimes giving the horse a piece and sometimes eating a piece themself.

They looked up when they heard the man´s voice, _"I am Lochan by the way. Lochan Ness"_ , they just smiled, and wiped their hand of on their coat and reached it across the fire. When Lochan grasped it, and shook it just once, they grinned.

_"Nice to meet you, Lochan!"_


	27. Closed Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Excerpt of the song "Best of Times" by Sage Francis, which is in general one of my favourite songs for _them_.
> 
> * * *
> 
> It was beautiful. It was brutal. It was cruel. It was business as usual. Heaven. It was hell. Used to wonder if I'd live to see 12.

They were holding on to their door, like their life depended on it. Clinging to it, fingers digging into the wood, they were bleeding and adding more spots to the already ruined door. Blocking it with their weight, which wasn´t a lot, but all they had left to defend themself. This door and their body, and the ability to vanish completely inside their head, so that nothing on the outside mattered any more. Even though that wasn´t as helpful in the long run.

The screams outside got louder, and they heard how something shattered. It was as frightening to hear the sound even though so much was between them and that broken plate. They were glad that they wouldn´t have to pull shards out of their hair and skin again, patching up their little wounds, so that they wouldn´t get infected. But sometimes they wondered what it was like to die, would it be a fight just to stay or just a serene fading away. Faintly they were wondering if they would ever be an adult or just leave before they grew up.

They flinched. A loud bang signalled that something was being overturned, more things noisily clattered to the floor, their living space was being turned into one big mess again, and it would be their fault, like always. Again. The voices getting louder and louder, slowly overwhelming them in the way they just couldn´t tune it out any more. At this point they could no longer discern what the words were that were being screamed only that it was angry, oh so angry.

Anger was always connected to fear in their mind, if the voices started and things began to fly, they always ran as quickly as they could into the small room, with the stolen books and the pilfered fabrics. They always slammed the door close and threw themself against, breath going flat, and heart beating so fast in their throat. Sometimes they were stopped and the attention turned towards them instead. It was always so much worse when that happened.

They knew that their parents weren´t gentle or quiet people, but did they really need to put on such a show. It´s not like the neighbour ignored them, and everything surrounding them anyway. They were shaking, their hands slowly curling into fists, pressing harder against the door, they never knew when one of them would try to get in. Fear always tended to creep in that they were just like them.

In their books the child is always saved by a hero, when they are in a situation that is dangerous for someone so young. They think their hero was lost or had abandoned them and wouldn´t come and save them any more. Tears that they were desperately trying to hold back began to stain their face. Maybe they would have to be their own hero in these volatile times.

They don´t know how to fight, but still colourful bruises painted their skin. Maybe they would pick it up out there on their own, like they picked up their other talents over time by themself. Nobody wanted to teach them, but they had to go on. They didn´t want their skill level to stagnate and slowly deteriorate again.

The screaming outside suddenly stopped, a tense quiet spreading out over the place. Frightened they started to hold their breath, listening to every little sound behind that door, but nothing came from the other side.

A look back into the room, showed a hastily sewn together coat and an empty bag. Thoughts racing through their head, still clinging to the door, still surrounded by the quiet of an empty house.

They jumped into action.


	28. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just- Is it too much to ask to just not talk with me. Silence is great, so please just shush.

If someone asked them they would say that they had met many insufferable people in their life, on accident or just because they were too nice to actually give those idiots a piece of their mind. They even grew up with a few people that could be considered insufferable, and yes they were talking about everybody in that dammed village.

But for some reason this official was really starting to take the crown off people they simply couldn´t stand. They were so close to actually commit murder at this point, and he just wouldn´t stop talking. He was going on and on about one topic or the other, and they were so, so close to just start screaming eternally. He was rude and condescending the whole time, his voice was unpleasant, and not in the way that one could get used to.

They had forgotten his name shortly after he introduced himself to them. The introduction itself should have already clued them in to run as far away as they could, after all he said essentially word for word, "I´m from the government and I want to help you!", everyone should run, as rule of thumb, when they heard someone say that, as fast as they could and as far away they could from the person who said that. Just get away!

The only information they still had retained from his introduction, aside from their failure to run, was that he was some noble, who wanted to live the "real" life. Idiot. Because of that, when they recalled correctly, he went to the military, and was later moved to a position in the city as a peacemaker of some sort. In short his family bought him a comfortable place to work at, till the darling son of the family comes back home.

Don´t ask them, they didn´t understand the system either. Anyway, he never saw a battlefield, which was probably the best for everyone involved and instead sometimes sorted through a bit of paperwork. Seriously the best outcome, that could have come from this decision.

The whole thing had one major drawback though. Mr. Insufferable now felt entitled to judge everyone who was still poor and miserable with their life, because he managed it all so easily. That also wasn´t something that really bothered them, it was annoying sure and very likely detrimental to the city, but many officials in a position of power were conceited and believed themselves to be better. So nothing new with him.

But what annoyed them to no end was being forced to listen to him rant the whole time. The experience would be so much better for them if he would just shut his mouth already, but no, he is going down another tangent that nobody wants to hear.

They let their head hang and sighed once, heavy and drawn out. He stopped for a second in his rant to look at them obviously bothered by the fact that apparently they didn´t find his topic of discussion just as interesting as he did. The blessed silence only lasted a few seconds before he threw himself back into his lecture with full vigor.

They started hoping that this day would soon end and that they could just move on with their life. They didn´t even know why their life always led them to places no one wanted to be at even if they would be paid generously, which they were not if they might add.

Crudely they interrupted him, _"So that snake in the lake is giving you problems, right?"_ , making sure that they were really supposed to solve that problem, and not one of the hundreds of other he apparently could find in the city.

He just scrunched his nose and primly started a lecture on how to correctly classify what was haunting the city, the definition of the word problem, and the rudeness of interrupting someone, all the while wagging his finger at them like a disapproving mother.

The gist of his tirade was though: Yes, the snake in the lake is the problem, even though we call it a sea serpent, and you are rude.

So they hastily excused themself and went off to deal with the local sea serpent, distantly hoping that it would be a better conversationalist than the government official.


	29. Good Vibes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I want to stay like this forever.

They were laying on their back, head probed up on their bag and their folded coat, legs were crossed, one arm behind their head to hold their makeshift pillow secure, book in their other hand, holding it above their head.

The sun was shining, and a breeze was gently dancing around them. The leaves on the trees all made their own rustling sound, which all put together the base music for the singing accents of the colourful birds flitting from one tree to another.

In short, it was a beautiful day, and no one was here to bother them, so that they could just relax and bathe in the sun.

A squirrel had made it´s way past them a few minutes ago, still clutching it´s food while watching them with it´s head cocked. When they lazily waved and smiled at it, it scurried it way into a tree, to get a little more distance between them, till it completely vanished out off their sight. But while they weren´t watching a few nuts, fruits and stones had piled up, outside off their peripheral vision.

They watched Culprit every other page to guess how much he had already grazed, but he still seemed to be good. They had shushed him away, when he tried to nose through their bag, and made a mental note to get a few foods for him the next time they crossed a market. They watched how he apparently fell asleep, savouring this calm day too.

Turning a page, they saw how a black blob in their peripheral jumped closer. Slowly turning their head, they watched with squinted eyes a crow that just continued hopping towards them, without a care in the world. It stopped watching them, till they hummed and turned back to their book. Soon a shadow fell over their face, only to vanish again as the crow pushed itself into the crook of their arm.

They passed their time reading like this, till again shadows danced across their face. With a sigh they laid their book, still open, on their stomach and raised their hand again to shield their eyes. Still squinting they watched how a few butterflies danced in the air up above them. Absent-mindedly they pushed a leave between the pages to indicate where they had stopped reading and put the book to the side, laying their arm across their stomach, where the book just laid, their other arm still behind their head with the crow cuddling them.

They felt how the crow pulled it´s head out of it´s plumage to watch the dance of these beautiful insects too. They twirled, flying around each other, and spinning however they liked in the air. It looked like a dance without rules, as if they only followed every whim they felt on how to move. The colour of the wings shimmered and changed colours the whole time in the approaching dawn.

Their eyes focused on the sunset, and they just watched how the light blue sky was littered with red and purple streaks. The sun just peacefully sinking more and more. The dark hues of the night overtaking the sky, till only one last pink streak was left, only to be swallowed whole by the dark in a matter of minutes. The stars began to peak out and formed themselves to their known constellations.

With a satisfied sigh they closed their eyes and laid their head to rest.


	30. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! My head still hurts, I think that fight really took all out of me...

Carefully they strolled across the market that was bustling with life, the hood of their coat pulled deeply into their face to hide behind, to avoid people staring at them, even though some still stared with wide eyes at the imposing figure that was them. They still felt the blood slowly running down their cheek, and they hoped that it would stop soon, before they lost more blood, or before it could stain their coat again.

But that wasn´t the wound that bothered, and worried, them the most at the moment. Their ankle still hurt with every step they took, barely being capable of moving forward, and if they moved their head to fast, colours and strange patterns still jumped all across their vision, and they felt how bile slowly gathered in their throat.

It may have been the case that they have a concussion, and that maybe they would have to treat their wounds this time, instead of their usual method of action of letting their body heal itself. They had escaped the insufferable noble as fast as they could after delivering the message that the sea serpent was truly dead now. But even that close encounter had left them with a headache that felt like it could split their head apart.

Now they were here, trying their best to evade the people of the marketplace. They didn´t want to bump shoulders with them right now. Usually they didn´t care if they stumbled into other people when a market was this busy, but right now they weren´t sure if their leg could support them, when their lost their balance, because they were swayed into a direction by someone else without expecting it.

They tried to drown out the voices that were raised in chatter around them, and instead focused on the items that were sold. They walked past what they wouldn´t need, ignoring pearls and necklaces, making a big way around food that they could smell. Only made that mistake once, they had with a headache like this tried to eat something with a strong smell and had promptly vomited because they couldn´t stand it any more.

They let out a relived sigh when they found a stand that sold herbs from all around the planet. Carefully they brushed through the plants under the watchful eyes of the old woman, very likely a witch, who sold those herbs.

Absent-mindedly they pointed out a few herbs that shouldn´t lay this close together, when harshly asked why she should listen to them, they just gently explained, and huffing the witch sorted out the herbs once more.

They picked out a few that they needed for now and hadn´t found on their track back to the city and paid the woman generously.

Then they hastily made their way again, limping as fast as they could outside the city bonds, in hope to find a calm enough place so that they could start treating their wounds. It took far longer than they expected, but they were satisfied with the results in the end. Without further thought they slipped into a restless sleep.


	31. The Professor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think here is somewhere I stayed the longest. I still miss them sometimes.

Sword lifted to parry the hit coming for their hip, changing stance to aggress, getting knocked away, falter for just a moment, evade another attack, while finding their balance once more. Repeat.

The hits from their teacher were coming relentlessly and always more brutal than the one before, pushing them back further each time. They were out here now already for a while, since dawn actually, just practising over and over the same few steps, for hours now. Their teacher always saw something different wrong in their stance that needed to be corrected before it would become deadly in a serious fight, they also tended to stumble more or less through that sequence, but they weren´t willing to give up yet.

She was ruthless in her teachings, always was and always will be, but also efficient, no movement or lesson just a flourish or unnecessary. Being never needlessly cruel, while still holding a kind of brutality to her. She never used her superior strength to suppress others, and instead always fought to defend, to teach rather than aggress. She held a compassion for all in her veins, and always careful where it counted. A mix that wasn´t often seen, but they appreciated nonetheless. It was after all the very reason they could learn from her.

They knew that she could have just walked away when they grasped the edge of their sleeve and pleaded to learn from her, when they met, but she didn´t. She had defeated a few maniacs, who wanted to start a brawl with a merchant, with an unnatural ease and grace to her, and then only looked at them, judging them and their request quietly, a stern frown to her face.

They knew that they weren´t much to look at, hungry and scrappy, dirt caked all over their face and clothes torn. It wasn´t easy in the world, but still better than where they came from. Instead of laughing and shooing them away with taunts like other soldiers and mercenaries already had, she just stood there judging them, letting them still hold on to her sleeve.

Then she quickly looked towards the sky, having come to a decision, she nodded and waved them to follow, before quickly walking away. She didn´t even look over her shoulder to see if they followed her, but they did. It would have been idiotic to not follow where she led, but they still stayed on guard, wary how they would progress in their relationship.

Her voice, they later realized, was always gruff, a rumble that came from their vocal cords being damaged in her youth, so sometimes all she could do was simply pointing mutely out mistakes or making them clear by simply going for the places that they had left unprotected, with the dull side of her blade. Often teaching more with actions than with words.

She was often frustrated with her voice because it would just stay breathy and almost inaudible for long periods of time. Over time, they had learned to listen to the quietest sounds to still hear the instructions of their teacher. They knew that she was proud of them for learning this rather quickly, if her smiles and actions were any indication.

The first thing she really sat down to teach them when she took them on as a student, was how to care for a sword. She wouldn´t even let them fight till they knew how to clean and sharpen it when it became dull. She explained every sign that she knew, that the sword may be becoming brittle, and was now more likely to break. Something that could kill them when it happened in a serious fight, and she made sure that they knew that.

The first few days she hovered over them like a concerned mother, though the concern was for the weapon they were handling for the first time and not them. She explained in long detail how to hold a sword and how to defend. Only when she was sure that they had grasped the concept of what to do, the two of them started practising and fighting. This pattern still was repeated whenever she taught them something new.

Her fighting style always stayed as fluid as it was the first time that they had seen her. Jokingly they had once compared her fighting style to dancing, which just got them a hit to the head from her, followed by a long lecture, which pointed out the importance of motions, attacks and defensive steps - a simple step away - and how they probably don´t want to stumble over their own feet. By the end of the lecture her voice was a barely audible rasp.

But they still had linked the two activities, dancing and fighting in their mind, both were graceful and needed a certain kind of strength, both needed hours of practice, and both were breathtaking in different circumstances, when they shared this observation with her, they got another gentle cuff to the head and a quiet raspy chuckle. Apparently she was amused with that. Later that day she pulled them jokingly into a lazy waltz, and both were laughing by the end of it.

They had learned a lot in her presence, even though she always complained that they should learn and fight with other people and not only with her, when questioned, she quietly explained that they were getting used to her movements, no matter how often she would change these up, and that fighting against another person might be something that they can´t deal with later.

That had resulted in the two of them going out, searching for different people to pick fights with, and those were easier to find than they had previously thought. Primarily it was them fighting, while she only stepped in when needed. Most people seemed to follow her commands when she managed to bellow these. Rare was it that her voice allowed it, but it still sometimes happened, even though her voice tended then to be more coarse than usual for a while.

She would often at the end of another fight just point out what was still missing, what she would still have to teach and what they needed to practice again, because she hadn´t seen before that they were doing it wrong. Usually they made the track back home again to work on those mistakes in peace.

Surprisingly she was also the one to teach them how to sew, which saved their coat, that they wore to this day. It was the same one they had stitched together when they left, and when they had met their teacher. She was only marginally more gently when it came to sewing, more often than not, she would prick them with her needle, when she saw that they were doing something wrong or tore open stitches again when they weren´t neat.

In short, it took a long time to finish something with her around. When they had yelled the first time she tried to do that with her coat, she had looked surprised only for a moment before pulling her hand away again, leaving the stitches alone. She had left for a while, and they worried that they had offended her with their protectiveness over their coat, they stitched together from the colourful fabrics as a child, till she came back with a few scrapes of her own fabrics, gently and more quiet than usual showing her the same stitch over and over again, till they realized what they had been doing wrong.

All in all one could say that she was rude, cold and more brutal and harsh than needed, but she was always someone that they had admired, even when she added to them bruises or little scratches. She had always made sure that they were okay in her own way, not always with a question, but with a gentle hand on the shoulder, a careful eye on their wounds. She always made sure that they could come back from what her practise exercise did to them.

The two of them ended their practice for the day, and she, mute for the day once more, just walked to the simple hut, that they were staying at, signalling them to follow with a jerk of her head. Inside a wall of scents greeted the two of them, nearly chocking them, while she just waved her hand in front of her nose a few times, and he was running around wildly, sorting through the different plants again, like he usually did, while the two of them practised.

His eyes lightened up when they entered, and he immediately started babbling about certain plants and their uses, in poison and in medicine. She ignored his babble, knowing that it was directed at them as the lesson of the day. They just hummed and sat down at his table, to help with the chaos that had overtaken it again. Different plants and herbs were scattered everywhere, and they began sorting through a few of them, that they knew he couldn´t differentiate.

In their peripheral vision, they saw her huff out a quiet laugh and vanish into the room in the back of the house, amused by how quickly their behaviour could change. He shortly looked past them to assess her mood before she was completely out of his sight and then continued as if nothing happened. They noticed that he was eyeing a scratch on their cheek, and they started laughing.

He hummed confused, but they placated him immediately. It was sometimes hilarious how he still moved as if he had sight. It often made them forget that he had lost it decades ago, but it still appeared as if he was capable of watching someone, following with his unseeing eyes every step that one made. Not only that, but it also could be sometimes frightening when he accurately followed signs they were drawing into the air with his eyes, even though they knew that he couldn´t see anything any more.

While they were distracted, he smeared some kind of paste on their cut, and when they reflexively lifted their hand to wipe it away, he gripped it and pushed it away once more, already used to that habit of them. They assured him that was the only place they were hurt, while he just grinned knowingly and tapped his nose.

He was, as far as they knew, and an old friend of her, and a long time companion. The team had apparently saved each other´s lives countless times at this point. She had saved him through her strength and knowledge of how to fight, with which she had protected him several times, and he had saved her through his extensive knowledge of herbs, which he equally used to make poisons and a variety of medicine, with which he had wrangled in a few ailments that she had over their time together.

He had taken them on as a student too, the day she had come home with them in her shadows. His way of teaching greatly differed from hers, where she was quiet, he was loud. He tended to be gentle but just as strict as she was, and where she was an unstoppable force, he was an unmoving object. The two of them seemed to know each other very well, even though sometimes communication issues arose.

He always explained in his lessons that nature needed to be taken seriously, that it needed to be cared for, especially with something so fragile as he was usually working with, and they had learned quickly that plants weren´t really forgiving when they made mistakes too.

It happened more than once that some plants just died, without them noticing, while he was just giggling in the background, because he knew that they still hadn´t noticed. Often the lesson was told them then in laughter because he just couldn´t control his mirth at their constant battle that was keeping a simple plant alive.

So he went out with them more, to point different herbs out, and what they did. It happened more that he would stroll over the marketplace with them shadowing him, to show them a wider variety of different plants.

They never quite understood how he could pick out the different plants while he couldn´t even see them. But whenever they asked he just tapped his nose again. They had great problems in the beginning to learn the different herbs and plants, but over time they started to trust their other senses more. They could never pick out anything on smell alone, but they soon realized that their nose provided them with additional information.

He was very careful in showing them how to make some medicines, and the first few he tended to just pour away, without even trying if they worked or not. He said it was to just be on the safer side. When they became indignant, he carefully sat down with them, and gently explained how quickly a medicine could become a poison, even without it being intentional. They thought a long time about it till they slowly agreed with him.

While medicines were cooked inside, for poisons he took them outside not wanting to risk, killing them all with the fumes they produced. He told them all he knew about all kinds of fauna that could kill and maim if just prepared and applied correctly.

It was a slow process to learn from him, not only because he could describe some plants only by smell, because he never saw them in his youth, and would never see them now, even though that contributed a lot to the slow process. It was also because they had always had their problems with plants.

They also tended to wander around with him, on the search for new projects. Out there he also told them how to track an animal, still remembering from his youth. He explained how to recognize the territory of wild animals and when they should never step into them. Mainly he taught them out there how to survive in the wilderness where civilization hadn´t laid it´s claim yet, and nature stayed untouched.

It was hard, but in the end they had managed to learn the respective arts from the two of them. Somehow they felt sad about the prospect of leaving, but they also knew that they couldn´t stay forever and that one day they would have to leave their teachers behind.

When that day arrived, they bid with tears in their eyes goodbye to their teachers that would always stay in their heart, hoping that they would meet again one day. They bid farewell to the mute Commander Yvette Crocetti and the blind herbologist and known witch Sascha Matsushita.


	32. Rewrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not many like it when I tell stories but he was always there.

Ardito was running around them in circles, they themself were sitting cross-legged on the ground, watching him with keen eyes, always slightly turning their head to keep track of him. When he came closer, they pitched forward catching him in their arms and hugging him to their chest. He was giggling and mock kicking at them.

They just raised an eyebrow at Ardito´s antics, and he broke out into another giggle fit. They tried to keep a straight face as long as they could, but it broke, when they started to breathy chuckle too. Ardito stilled suddenly, but before they could start to worry, he started pestering them for a story. They stayed quiet as first, but then quietly started.

_"There is a game, older than you, older than me, even older than this universe and the one before it. It saw countless worlds rise and fall, it destroyed more than you can ever imagine, but it created also worlds in an equal amount. It is the making of a universe I am telling you about, and the fall of another. The story starts like this. A young man stands in his bedroom."_

They kept talking and talking, while he listened with bright eyes, giggling whenever the protagonist did something silly, gasping appropriately shocked when something new was revealed that would change the plot and the fate of the players they had introduced to him. He cried whenever one of the characters felt sad, and was just emerged into the story.

Night had crept up on them, and they only stopped when they heard the soft breathing of Ardito who had fallen asleep in their lap. Carefully they pushed their arms under his body, and shakily stood up. They swayed for a moment side to side, a sharp pain shooting through their legs, closing their eyes and taking one deep breath through their nose, they started to carry Ardito to bed. Once they were sure that he was comfortable, they laid themself down to catch a little rest.

The next day repeated like the one before, and when Ardito asked for another story at the end of the day, they thought shortly before they hesitantly started.

_"There is a world not unlike our own, where men reside, but there are also dwarrow, wizards and elves, but this is a tale of how the smallest people can have the biggest impact in our history and in our hearts. This is a story with a lesson that everyone should learn, a show where underestimate anyone, and it starts like this. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."_

This story was also met with a lot of awe, and again they told the story till Ardito was fast asleep. This cycle would continue for a long time while they waited upon the return of Vartouhi and Lochan.

But in the meantime Ardito listened to of wizards and that lived parted from the unmagical, and a little boy who would save them all from an evil Lord. They told a story of how a vampire and a human child met and quickly became the best of friends. They told him a story of a little boy and the adventures he went on with his stuffed animal.

All in all Ardito learned a new thing every day in their stories and tales, while they both bid their time waiting.


	33. Jewelry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still can´t believe it. They always seemed invincible to me, to see them like that...

They were just standing there. Numb. The pendant of Yvette pressed tightly against their chest, in the other hand was the band of Sascha. They had never really noticed that the two wore any kind of accessories.

Yvette was always so strong and brash, that they always felt like any kind of jewellery would just fall apart in her hands, crumple to dust like it never existed. But apparently they were wrong, under her amour, she wore a pendant, always close to her heart. The longer they looked at it, the more they saw that someone inexperienced had made it or someone who didn´t see what they were doing.

They had also never thought that Sascha would were anything that he didn´t need. Not necessarily because he didn´t like it. He just tended to lose his things when he wasn´t careful. A band in the same emerald green of his eyes, they had never seen him wear. He usually just knotted or braided his hair together when he was bothered by it. But again they were wrong. He had tied it around his arm, with the most care, so he wouldn´t lose it. The little cross sewn in under a tree, marked it clearly as a gift.

Slowly they felt tears running down their face, a sob tearing itself from their throat, and soon they were full-blown bawling. No one was around to bear witness to their breakdown. They sunk to their knees, the last bit of strength leaving them, curling in on themself. An anguished scream tore trough them as their head connected with the ground.

The only witness to their anguish where the two graves in front of them. They had laid down a stone, engraved with a tree at Sascha´s grave and driven a wooden cross into the freshly upturned soil, where they had buried Yvette.

They had felt numb, when they had received a letter, asking them to collect the belonging of their teachers, but they hadn´t yet realized that this meant both were dead. At first, they just thought they had moved away, without telling them. But when they arrived, they were quickly led to a gravedigger, who gently pushed them to see the dead one last time to bid them farewell.

They had started babbling about the place, they were standing now, and the gravedigger had just nodded before helping them to move the bodies here, only to leave them alone when they asked, but pushing something in their hand before vanishing. It was painful to dig out the graves themself, but they felt as if that was the only thing they could do now.

Now they could only weep at the memories of the past overtook them, the realization that they never met up again in the end. Trying to wrangle back their sobs, they shakily got back on their feet, and with a last squeeze close to them, laid both pendant and band at the respective graves down

Afterwards they ran.


	34. Sounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are always surrounded by sounds. No matter how small or how insignificant it may seem, there is always something that you can hear.
> 
> It is unsetteling when it vanishes.

They never learned a sound that ensured safety, which led them to tiptoe often and speak softly. Never heard a sound that wasn´t violent, a voice raised in a scream, a plate splintering apart against the wall, a banging against their door.

Voices directed at them were always the most dangerous, made it clear that the speaker had clearly noticed them, and were addressing them. At that point it didn´t matter if the voice was an unholy screech or a low menacing growl. To this day they avoided people who sounded like that.

A slamming door was defined by what happened afterward, but it still always showed the aggravation of the people surrounding them. But when the sound footsteps came into their direction, they froze up in fear.

They were used to these sounds, but always flinched, even years later, as if they heard them for the first time. No, not really, no one else flinched like that, because they didn´t know the connotations they had made in their childhood for these little sounds, that could set them off any moment.

But one day it all changed.

Yvette, who taught them how to fight, tended due to a speech impairment to only speak in a low growl. She usually avoided raising her voice, knowing she wouldn´t be able to speak for quite a while afterward, but when she screamed it was always only to their protection. They got used to the breathy drawl, that sounded so much like growling, that came from Yvette. At the end, they even managed to not flinch when she said something without them expecting it.

Shattering plates and beakers was a common sound around Sascha, who sometimes tended to grab slightly to the side of an object and tipped it over then instead, which usually ended in a few choice words from both Sascha and Yvette. At the start they froze every time the noise came, only Sascha´s gentle voice and words pulling them from the numbness, then they flinched, at one point the cursed simultaneously with both, which let the three break out into giggles, which wouldn´t leave the rest of the day.

Sometimes they wondered if anyone ever explained the concept of a door handle to Vartouhi. No matter where she went the sound of a door slamming shut tended to follow her. But for some reason, they couldn´t explain, it sounded different with her. It never expressed anger or rage, no, with Vartouhi it always seemed to be passion and excitement that she couldn´t control.

Lochan tended to be the most off-setting person they ever had met on their journey for a long time. His voice tended to be rather unpleasant for them, considering that he sometimes spoke in an actual, rather threatening sounding, growl, instead of reining his voice in. They knew that it was hard for him, to make his normal language of growls and hisses, sound like the human voice, but they still couldn´t help but to avoid him for quite a while. Nowadays they tended to growl just right back at him.

And how could they forget Culprit who was always by their side when the nightmares came, when they froze or flinched, and when they just needed someone to lean on.

So in their youth they never learned a sound that ensured safety, but on their journey that changed, and old sound became a new meaning.


	35. War and Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a war inside my head. It´s between my soul and my mind. They are tearing into each other with no chance to stop them.
> 
> I am at a loss for what to do.

They breathed deeply. Their heart and mind were at war, trying to scream over the voices over the other. Sometimes both were drowned out by the roaring of the dragon, of Ardito, as they came closer and closer.

They came closer, to making a decision, or at least needing to make one. Their breathing was more uneven than ever, and sometimes a shaking ran it´s course over their entire body. They felt like crying but not a single tear would fall.

Their thoughts circled back to the decision that needed to be made. Would they slay the furious dragon to get the upper hand in dealing for the desperately needed medicine like they promised Vartouhi or would they protect the child they watched grow up over the years, but was still so very young, no matter the cost or consequences.

They knew that no matter what they would choose, they couldn´t do it with heart and mind.

Their mind was pushing them towards the first option, making sure they knew all the advantages it would bring them. After all it could really give them the resources necessary they needed, and the possibility that someone else would go after the dragon, was getting higher the more time passed. It also seemed very unlikely that the dragon would calm down again. So this was logically the most they could make out of this situation.

Their heart on the other hand was wailing, and in their head scenes played on repeat. How they watched Ardito slowly grow up, how he asked them to tell them stories, and how both of them waited for his parents to return. They were a constant presence in his youth and he was a calming one in their last few years. They felt their heart tearing itself apart, when they thought about murdering this child in cold blood, and the urge to protect him came back with a vengeance.

The closer they got to the mountain, the more pressing the need for a decision came. They were glad when the climb up the mountain consumed all their attention. It was relaxing to just focus on grabbing the next stone, that looked like it could support their weight, being mindful of where to put their feet, and pulling themself higher and higher.

A loud roar shook them out of their relaxed state, and their body instinctively tensed to stay on guard. He was still rampaging up there, it really wouldn´t be long any more till the nobles would send someone else up here, to deal with the dragon.

They had to stop him somehow. Otherwise, they were sure that his life would end rather painfully at someone else hands. They knew how monster hunters behaved, they relished in the fight and the bloodshed that followed them. They couldn´t let him die at the hands of one of those bastards.

They started climbing faster, knowing that they had to hurry no matter what their decision would be in the end, otherwise it wouldn´t be their decision any more regardless of what they had settled on in the end.

All they knew that they had to calm the dragon, had to calm Ardito down, with sword or words before it was too late.


	36. Frame it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, no, no! I can´t and won´t deal with that right now. I can´t!

Sentences of the living and the long dead were dancing around their head. Blending seamlessly together or mashing up not quite right, a jarring difference in tone and cadence. Different voices sounded from different corners but nothing was making sense.

The apparition in front of them gave them a smile and said in a breathy voice _"Don´t give up I´m sure that one day, you will see the world!"_

They squinted their eyes, confused. They were pretty sure that the voice was the one that belonged to Yvette, but she never had said anything like that, Sascha on the other hand was someone who would, and probably had, say something like this to them before.

Raising their sword, they pitched forward, planning to drive their weapon through the apparition, but sadly they sailed smoothly pass it. They hadn´t even seen it side stepping or had it moved at all, they weren´t sure. It hadn´t a single scratch on itself, and slowly they became anxious. They didn´t know any more what was going on.

They watched as it giggled. It´s hair going from black to red to blonde, from impersonating Vartouhi to Sascha to Lochan. It´s eyes which glinted with cruel delight did something similar, but they always stayed familiar slitted. Familiar in a way that hurt right now.

_"You know you have to take the first step to get anywhere in life"_ , it crooned at them, using a different voice this time. They slowly started to circle it, desperate to find a weak spot in it´s defence. There was no way this form shifting apparition or creature didn´t have a weakness they could exploit.

With calm eyes, which stood in contrast to it´s hysteric giggles, it turned with them. Not letting them out of it´s sight and suspiciously not letting them catch sight of it´s back either.

Another ripple went through the whole apparition, as all features of it changed again. They recognized again the people that they met and were very dear to them. Slowly anger was bubbling up in them, and they tensed. They only got one chance.

_"Don´t dream your life away, live your dream."_ It stopped, apparently considering what it just said before it added _"Follow your ambitions, and when you believe in yourself you can do everything"_. It smiled self-satisfied, which made it look more like a cat who finally got the canary. They still couldn´t believe that this thing was responsible for so many deaths.

They waited tense for the right moment, sword already raised, they just needed one moment where it wasn´t attentive, and they could finish it off. The moment they needed came when the apparition, cocked it´s head to the sight and closed it´s eyes.

They pounced forward as fast as they could, jumping pass the apparition only to turn on their heel, to slam their sword trough the back of it. It stopped in it´s tracks, and colours and shapes started to overlap and bleed into each other, and with a loud crack it fell apart in front of them.

They kneeled down just in time to see the shapes disintegrate to dust, to see the after image of the people they had loved disintegrate into dust.

They broke out into sobs, once more.


	37. Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I admit puzzles are sometimes fun, in a safe space though. Keep that in mind. They are not that fun any more when you have to figure it out in the wilderness, you know.

If they turn that statue to the north, the door on the north opens, if they turn it back to face east the door to the east opens. Not that complicated if they were honest. The same pattern repeats a few times, but now they were kind of stuck.

They came easily into the cellar of whatever was here before it all fell apart, but they couldn´t find for the sake of it the exit. Not really, they had found a doorway that could be the exit, but there was no statue in the adjoined room they could turn in that direction.

And now they were just walking circles, trying to figure out how to get the exit open, when they stopped. They should be right now, directly across the exit. They looked at the statue in the middle of the room. Maybe if they were lucky they could turn it in the direction of the exit.

They jumped into action, ignoring like they had all the times before, the noise the stone made at being pushed into a different direction than it was before. As soon as they had pushed the statue in the desired direction, a loud noise echoed through the whole cellar. Simultaneously the pathway that was open before fell shut.

Looking back the way they came, they saw that this doorway was still open, and they made with hastily steps their way back to the room without any statues. They stopped for a moment before checking if the exit was now open and actually usable.

Honestly they were surprised when that was actually the case. They made a few cautious steps forward, being mindful of possible traps, letting out a content sigh when nothing tried to kill them. Again. Slowly they began to inspect what they had found.

They didn´t know what they needed to expect when they came down here. They had just heard that there was an abandonment castle once here, many centuries ago. Now there wasn´t a lot of it left any more. The walls had rotted away and slowly fell apart, leaving debris laying everywhere around.

A poisonous mist had settled deep into the surrounding land, mixing with the water and making it hard to traverse. They avoided it on their way as good as they could, but sometimes it just wasn´t a possibility. Their legs were still itching when they thought about that, their pants dried as best they could.

When they had actually arrived at the castle, they saw that the surrounding wall, that once kept intruders away was completely gone. Only the imposing gate was left, with the family sigil braided into the metal. They found it interesting, had they never seen it before on their travels.

They were so excited when they actually had found a way down into the cellar, and found their way through the riddle. Swallowing their excess spit down quickly they walked into the room that was so well protected by riddles. A room that probably no one would have ever got into when the castle still stood proudly.

There was a box, carefully the approached it, and opened it reverently.


	38. Fire-Starters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huh! This is actually kinda nice...

They were wandering around, Culprit was trotting close behind them. His breathing sometimes disturbing their hair, which they usually just pushed back into place without really thinking about it. Sometimes they bent down to pick up a stick they thought could be used for a little fire.

They were tired, but that was to be expected, with them being awake now for several continuos days, without getting rest. But they just couldn´t convince themself to fall asleep at the moment, so they were basically waiting for the moment their body would just give out and fall asleep regardless of what they were trying.

They knew that this wasn´t in any way a healthy way to deal with what they were experiencing, but sometimes they could only deal with oncoming nightmares like this. They were glad that they at leat recognized by now when they would have a restless sleep.

Culprit shook them out of their thoughts by nudging them slightly into the shoulder, they stumbled shortly by caught themself by gripping on Culprit to get their balance back. When they scowled at the horse, he just shook it off, he never took them seriously when they were like this.

They kept collecting dry sticks, knowing that they would set a camp up tonight. It was getting cold, and they knew that Culprit was getting just as tired as they were, not that he really ever fell into a deep sleep, but they knew he was exhausted.

It also wasn´t like they needed to hurry to arrive somewhere on time. No one was expecting them really. They were just wandering around, exploring new places that they hadn´t seen before and just trying to have a good time.

Their arms full, they began looking for a suitable place where the two, them and Culprit, could rest without being too far in the open. It would probably still take some time till they find something that will work, but oh well.

They looked up interested as Culprit began to wander, naturally they followed him, trusting his judgement to find a safe path for them, a lot more than they ever thought possible in the beginning. Carefully watching their feet and suppressing one yawn or the other, they only looked up when Culprit nudged them.

They let out a surprised huff of air, at the place that Culprit had found, and with a loud clatter just let the sticks fall onto the ground. They also let their bag slide from their shoulder, which hit the ground with a loud noise too.

Quickly looking around, they started to pick up a few bigger stones, which they carefully arranged into a circle. Then they started to carefully stack their sticks. Pulling their bag towards them with their foot, they rifled through it in search for their lighter.

Snatching a few dry leaves off the ground, they lit a corner of those on fire, and pushed them into their stick construction, hoping that it will actually light up, and not just smoulder the whole time, without a single spark.

With bright eyes they watched as a fire started to dance in the stone circle, they slowly turned around to smile at Culprit, who just pushed at them with his snout. They felt how their eyes grew heavy, and with a disgruntled sight, they laid down.

Soon they were asleep, dreaming about forests and running.


	39. Coffee & Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I´m not sure I´m ready for this. I´m definitly not ready for this.

Carefully they blew away a bit of the steam. Vartouhi was sitting across them, leaning against Lochan. Their eyes tended to track the newborn at every movement it made, well, he made. He was just blowing a few spit bubbles and their eyes snapped back to Lochan as he began to coo at Ardito.

Was that his name? They weren´t quite sure, but also wouldn´t ask the proud parents. They knew that the both had introduced the child to them, when they had finally arrived. The way that the letter was worded had led them to think that it was something very urgent, and instead they were faced with a newborn, and their friends wide grins.

They had short-circuited there for just a second, because this was really the last they had expected. Vartouhi was so excited and just started babbling about her son, while they were still processing what they were seeing.

Lochan was predictably quieter. Bless this man for his serene way of dealing with events, when he isn´t fearing for his life. He had just barely audible asked them to come in, ushering Vartouhi in in front of him.

While Vartouhi was jumping up and down, child in her arms, still chattering about everything that happened since they last visited the couple, Lochan just pushed them in the direction of the kitchen and started to brew water.

He mixed it with a few herbal remedies and berries they sometimes brought along for them, and something they couldn´t quite identify, very likely bought at the local marketplace, that had a rather strong smell, and sat two cups of that liquid down in front of his seat and Vartouhi´s.

They knew that Vartouhi was still talking to them, but they weren´t really listening at this point. Instead, they started to compare the child to his parents. They quickly realized that his eyes gave him away as the child of the couple in front of them, which would probably burden him with many problems in the future.

His eyes had the same slitted pupil that Lochan possessed, which tended to mark him as a changer to others, and the vibrant colour that would sometimes seem to glow, was definitely inherited from Vartouhi, who had magic running through her veins. They swallowed. This child would get into a lot of problems with age, they just knew it.

They tuned back into the conservation when they saw in their peripheral vision how Lochan laid his hand on Vartouhi´s arm, and she stopped chattering, just to take a deep breath. The whole situation just became serious for one reason or the other.

Gently they clasped their cup of tea, turning their head back to their friends, and barely there nod to show that they were paying attention for whatever might come now. They watched how Vartouhi looked at Lochan, as if she were seeking validation for what she was about to do, when he showed his support through a single nod and a light squeeze to her arm, she opened her mouth.

They stared just wide-eyed at the couple, when she was finished, white knuckling their tea cup and completely overwhelmed again. The second time in not even an hour. But they still nodded and looked at Ardito.

Apparently they would be there for him, taking responsibility for this child when their friends couldn´t any more. They blinked and lifted the cup to their lips, only to empty it with a single pull, when they quietly put the cup down again, they realized that they were right.

This child would really be a lot of trouble.


	40. Car Keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This isn´t really a world where getting your drivers liscence works, like the original prompt was so I went and wrote about a new sequence in someones life, because I got told that this is apparently a big step in getting older. I think what I wrote about in the end fits the bill in a way too.
> 
> * * *
> 
> She looked beautiful that day, and they were both just so nervous.

Vartouhi was nervously running from left to right, while they were just holding onto the flowers she would carry. It was clear that she was nervous, laying with her fingers and just muttering the whole time under her breath.

She tried to rake a hand through her hair, but was stopped by the headpiece she was wearing. It started to slip and sat now rather crooked on her head, but she didn´t seem to notice. Instead, she was smoothing out her red silk gown, looking at the ornaments that had been stitched into it with a lot of dedication.

When she started to pace once more, they let out a quiet laugh, that still could be heard. Vartouhi whipped around and just glared at them. They didn´t really take it to heart, knowing how high-strung she was the last few days.

Instead, they just gently pressed the bundle of roses into her hands and reached up to adjust her headpiece. Satisfied with how it looked they took a step back again. When they opened their mouth to voice their support for Vartouhi, she just lifted the hand with the flowers and waved it away.

They leaned back against a wall, simply watching the petals on the ground. How fitting these flowers were for Vartouhi. Beautiful to all who see, but dangerous and prickly for those who get to close. It also helped that her name, Vartouhi, could be translated as rose.

She kept pacing, and they watched with no little amount of amusement how her gown swayed around her legs. They pulled a leaf with their foot out of Vartouhi´s way before she could trample over it again. They had a feeling that she wouldn´t want leaves caught in her dress or under her shoes when she walked down the path.

They straightened up a little when they saw, that Vartouhi had stopped her pacing but was now scrutinizing them. Then she descended on them like an angry raven. She started to pull on their clothing, all the while muttering about how unruly they looked. They let it happen and just grinned slightly, at least she wasn´t worrying any more if Lochan truly loved her. It would be a shame if one of them got cold feet now.

She kept at the pulling, groaning in despair when she found a little spot of blood they just hadn´t got out of their clothes no matter what. They didn´t really worry about that though. After all they were sure that no one would come that close to them like Vartouhi was right now. The only other person they would let that close into their personal space was the groom of this whole event.

Vartouhi paled drastically, when music started to play. For just a moment she was shivering with nerves again. They just smiled gently and held out their hand. She looked at them and with a deep breath and a raised eyebrow took it.

With a flourish they twirled Vartouhi once, which made her laugh, then they opened the door and gently pushed her outside. When she looked back at them, they had a small smile on their face and waved at her in their gently manner.

She turned around and walked with sure steps down the aisle. Lochan was standing at the end of it. They knew that he had been just as nervous as she was, but he also looked a lot calmer, then when they had left him to look after Vartouhi. Maybe the nervousness had vanished when the two saw each other.

They shrugged slightly for themself and leaned completely against the doorway, and just watched this important day of their friends.


	41. What You Don´t Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are important to a person. We would be so much more vunerable if we didn´t keep those little secrets close to our chest.
> 
> Eh. Ever noticed how a person without those important secrets, who is open about all that is going through their head, is always weirdly suspicious.

There were a lot of things in life that they didn´t know. Some were shown to them with a gentle hand, carefully guiding the trough the experience that was getting to know something new. Other things were learnt the harsh way, trough loud noises and painful memories.

The world around them had a way of mixing those things in a way that managed to make it all feel worth it. Sometimes a lesson was taught in with a light push into another direction or with the appearance of one animal or the other. But sometimes it was more ruthless and a lesson entailed being nearly mauled by a vicious beast or tumbling down a stony hill.

They survived it most of them times, not always unscathed. They had enough scars to prove that, and all told of a different lesson. Most of the time they didn´t really mind them, told they all of the battles they had survived, all the things that they had to work for in their life, because they hadn´t come easy to them.

But a few specific ones they usually ignored. They were raked across their arms, from elbow to wrist, criss-crossing in patterns, that only made sense in a sudden wave of insanity. Those scars were a sore spot for them. They hadn´t got them as a result of a lesson that was inevitable, no, those scars were the result of agony and solitude, and a hopelessness so strong that overshadowed everything else they had ever felt before.

They traced a few particular harsh lines with a finger, and just observed the patterns they had craved in their youth, for the simple validation that they still felt something, that they were still alive, and sometimes to drown out what they had already been feeling from before.

Sometimes they wondered why the urge had only come up when they were safe, when they were with Yvette and Sascha. In the village they originated from, doing something like this had never crossed their mind. After all was it more dangerous to be weak there, as in the first place they could ever comfortably rest.

They shook their head decisively, and put on their forearm braces again, they didn´t want to continue to dwell on that stuff. For some reason, they still couldn´t quite comprehend, they always got terribly angry whenever they saw their scars. Maybe it was anger over what they had done or maybe that anger bubbled up because they didn´t need to suppress any more if they wanted to survive.

It also was always rather quickly quenched when they remembered Sascha´s gently hands tending to their wounds, as if they was nothing weird about them. Just talking in his serene voice that he sometimes tended to use, as if he wasn´t even realizing what caused the wounds, but the tilt of his head betraying his facade of ignorance, the same with the knowing glint in his unseeing eyes.

It only became more clear when Yvette, harsh as ever, asked for their knife. They feared that she would take it away from them, but instead she showed them how to defend themself with a short blade too. She told them about examples how a short knife no one was expecting could save their life one day. Before the lesson ended that day, she suddenly grabbed their shoulder tight and kneeled down to be at equal heights. She seemed to search their face for something and just told them that she always wanted them to be safe, no matter from what or who. The intent was clear and that day they fought back a sob, before they hugged her tightly.

They started to continue their journey and the knife of that day was still had their side, nestled securely in one of their boots, not that anyone would ever know.


	42. Abandoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was a trip, that I still remember very well, it was memorable, so much is sure.

They crept across the hall, pressing themself as close to the wall as possible, hyperaware of every sound that was echoing through the castle. In abandoned old structures like these, usually lurked creatures and monsters of every kind imaginable. The way the gate looked, when they had entered made the possibility of this place, drowning in ravenous creatures a real possibility, and the splatter of a deep red across the walls, told them all about those creatures.

They whipped around, sword at the ready, when they heard of something clattered to the floor. But there behind them was nothing. The hall was as dark and empty as it had been the whole time. They swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm themself down again, continuing on their path, with silent steps.

It would do them no good, to fall prey to the panic, that desperately clawed at their throat to be let free. They kept it from clouding all their senses, after all they knew that in panic they wouldn´t be as capable any more, as they were when they were completely calm.

With a slightly shaky breath, they pressed themself tighter against the wall. Unconsciously they curled slightly into themself to take up less room, and to provide potential attackers with less space that these could go for. They also protected their tender spots a little better like this. It wasn´t much that they changed trough that, but maybe all they needed to do, to stay alive in this mess.

Absent-mindedly they realized that the tales surrounding this castle had apparently stayed with them a little stronger than they originally expected. They heard it all from the townsfolk, horrible myths and legends, that talked about vanishing people, some to be never found again, others to be found with deep furrows in their body, torn apart by something vicious and bloodthirsty. The townspeople had told them about travellers who swore that they saw real demons lurking in the shadows of the rotten walls of the deserted castle.

They didn´t really believe all those tales, at least they had thought so. Their behaviour clearly said something else, and no matter what they did they couldn´t shake that foreboding feeling they had the whole time they had traversed through the castle halls. It also kinda unsettled them, that the walls were covered in splatters, that resembled blood too much to be anything else. They had also already had found bones just carelessly strewn across the space inside the castle´s walls.

They quickened their pace, there was a reason after all that they had come here. Stubbornly they tried to ignore the weird sounds that echoed around them, that awakened an old fear inside of them. Their breath started to come quickly and shortly, and they felt how a headache slowly started to manifest.

There was an almost inaudible growl somewhere behind them, and they fell immediately into a small run, still trying their best to be as small and as unnoticeable as possible. Their grip around their sword tightened gradually, till their knuckles lost all their colour.

The noises were still coming closer, and they broke into a full run, still not throwing caution into the wind. They knew that if they lost control over their fear it would be over. Instead, they rounded a corner as quickly as they could, almost loosing their footing, but catching themself on the wall, that slowly fell away under their touch.

They watched this process with wide eyes, not expecting the walls to be this brittle. Out of their peripheral sight they saw a door. They turned their full body towards it, inspecting it closer. The door looked like it could lead into a cellar. Slowly they started walking towards it, and with every step fear rose higher in their throat. Even though they were shaking at the time they reached the door, they ripped it open, and stumbled hastily through it and down the stairs.

As soon as they crossed the doorway, the feeling of dread and nauseous panic was lifted off their shoulders, and they could take a calm breath once more. While their heart was calming down, they observed the room, the stairs had led them into.

There was a big statue in the room, turned towards one doorway. It was open, unlike the other one, that was blocked by a sturdy wall. Still calming down, they let their fingers run along the bricks, that blocked the doorway, but nothing really interested them about this construction.

Instead, they turned towards the statue, and realized belatedly that it depicted a warrior of some sort. When they came closer they also observed the statue closer.

One hand of the warrior was outstretched, palm upturned, as if inviting someone to dance, or take the offered hand. The other hand of the statue tightly pressed a book close to it´s body. Interested they leaned in and read the title. As soon as they registered what they were looking at, they started to laugh wholeheartedly.

Apparently this castle, when it was still bustling with life, was under the protection of some powerful magic users, like the warrior the statue depicted. After all what the warrior was cradling so protectively was a grimoire, a spell book of the old arts.

They let out another amused giggle as they realized, that the whole castle, except the cellar, was under a protection spell, that must have to play into fear, which would explain why it had overcome them so suddenly and left just as quickly.

Shaking their head, still an amused grin on their face, they took the hand of the statue and marvelled at the fact that they could actually turn it around. With fascination in their eyes, they watched as the previously closed doorway opened with a creaky groan, while the one that had been open slammed shut.

That could be interesting, there weren´t good at riddles, but maybe they would be able to solve this one.


	43. The Sound of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to scream and start to get violent, but I coudn´t. Not when it was asked of me to stay calm. 
> 
> I really hope that I made a difference in her life though.

The nobles in front of them, kept laughing and joking. They clenched their fist and tenses, preparing themself for a quick fight, that would end with these insufferable idiots unconscious. If those guys were lucky that is, otherwise they would just kill them.

They made a quick movement forward, but were suddenly stopped by a hand on their arm. Slightly confused they looked at the girl, holding them back with that simple gesture. When she saw that they were looking at them, she just gently shook her head.

Frowning they complied with the silent request and relaxed their body again, trying to swallow down their anger. Still, they raised their eyebrows at the girl, but she stayed with her decision. It was probably for the best anyway, they thought bitterly. She was the one who would get in trouble for their actions surely.

Still they couldn´t suppress a clenching of their teeth, and a choked growl from their throat, when they listened to what those sleazy tools, were saying. These guys talked big about how they were for equality and same rights, and especially for the protection of children, and then turned around with actions that were just infuriating to watch.

They felt her tugging at their arm slightly, silently asking them to follow her. With a last unnoticeable scoff in the nobles direction, they turned to follow the young girl, observing her and the halls she was leading them trough.

She was quiet with every step that she made. It was somehow different from how they moved. They were quiet because sometimes that was just what made their life easier, especially when they were out in the wilderness. Their quiet was accompanied by a certain kind of confidence that came with surviving for a long time.

Her quiet on the other hand seemed so fearful of everything. They didnt know if she was aware of it, but she was hugging herself tightly, slowly relaxing the further away they got from her father. It pained them deeply to see a child in such a position. She seemed to shiver sometimes, and with closer inspection they realized that she was far too thin for her age.

The halls were also not fitted for such a young girl. Damp and cold, and in the corner they were sure they saw mould accumulating. They shuddered thinking that this was a place a child could live in. The windows were becoming less and less, and the hall became darker.

They watched how she opened a brittle door, her sleeve riding up, letting them see a plethora of bruises. They winced internally, but followed the girl regardless. Planning quietly a way out of this situation for the young girl. Wasn´t there a witch, a few towns back that was searching for an apprentice? They would need to ask her if she liked plants, or potions for that matter.

When she said down on her bed, that looked like it would fall apart any second now, she began to tell the tale, that they had come for. About something lurking in the old castle walls, about travellers who never returned. She finished with a sigh.

They nodded, this was surely what they usually dealt with. Maybe an interesting creature was living there. Off-handedly they asked her if she liked plants and potions.

She looked confused, but admitted to not knowing a lot about them, but they would probably like them. They nodded satisfied and asked them if they could have their bags packed soon, telling them of their plan to get her to the witch. They would return later to inspect the castle.

She was quiet, just staring at them wide-eyed, they needed to affirm to her several times that they were sure about this decision. Then she jumped immediately into action, and they helped the process along as good as they could.

Soon they smuggled the child out of the house and led the way back to where the witch, that would soon be a safe space for her, lived. They nodded along to what she was talking about, showing interest. At first, she had stayed quiet, but they never shut them down, instead they actively tried to participate in a conservation for once, and soon she was talking more openly than she had before.

Just because they got never saved by their knight, didn´t mean they couldn´t be the knight for others.


	44. Insult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I´m used to harsh words, so I don´t really mind them any more. 
> 
> But sometimes I still wish they would stop, and just leave me in peace.

They have heard it all before, but maybe their fellow patron of the tavern wasn´t getting that. He was going on and on about how despicable their craft was and what a horrible being they were for doing what they were doing.

They didn´t really react, just sipping on their drink, and sometimes cocking their head to the sight, when he was taking too long for them to spit out his next insult. Bored they rested their head on their hand, watching the clearly drunk man swaying.

He was barely capable to stand any more, but even when he would have been sober, they wouldn´t have felt threatened by him. They watched as he clambered up the table in front of them, stretching their arm out to catch him in the case that he would fall down again. When he finally gathered his balance on the wobbly table, he began his insulting once more. He was acting like he had the moral high ground over them, which was kind of annoying at the moment.

But they weren´t really bothered, instead turning back to their meal. Hunched over, appearing to the world as if they were tuning him out, but they were still listening. Even though he was drunk, he may still have the ability to sway the other patrons to his belief.

After all they wanted, to be honest, at least a small warning when they would need to get out of this place as fast as they could. This situation, reminded once more, why they couldn´t stand the big crowds or staying somewhere for longer than a day.

All the while he continued his preaching. They were amused by it more than anything else, but they had to admit, under all those unnecessary insults he brought up a few good points. But with his way of acting, no proper discussion was manageable, which was fine by them.

They tensed up a little when they realized that the mood in the room suddenly changed. That wasn´t good! With a disappointed sigh, they let their fork simply fall onto their plate, and looked around what had changed so violently in the crowd.

With little surprise, they saw that the other patrons were angry, but the target of their anger surprised them a little. They chocked down a laugh as quickly as they could, luckily no one seemed to notice.

The guy on the table was too drunk to realize it, but something he had said, apparently turned the ire of the other patrons on him, and not like he had hoped on them. Most of the other patrons looked positively murderous, whatever he had said must have been a big taboo, to most people here.

The table wobbled again and they had an idea. Not their best, yes, but it would hopefully defuse the situation well enough, and to be honest, they were a little miffed at all the insults that he had thrown at them.

And so with a well aimed kick at the table leg, which was already loose, the whole table clattered pitifully apart. The drunk man went flying, crashing down with the table, with a short-lived yell. Laughter spread through the tavern, and a few other guys helped the drunk man up, maybe friends of him. They apologetically shrugged in the direction of the tavern owner, who just waved it away.

They continued eating in peace, till they had to leave, but not before paying, and when they left a little more than what was needed for the food, well nobody would mention it.


	45. Mirror, Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mirror can and will sometimes show you your worst possible sides of yourself, but this, this can´t be mine, right?

Their laughter still rung out, echoing across the walls that surrounded them, in this room protected by a riddle. They hadn´t expected this when they had opened the box, and simply couldn´t contain their laughter any more, when the ridiculousness of the situation had finally caught up to them.

There in the box, nestled carefully on the velvety pillow, laid a mirror. With careful motions they picked it up, not wanting to accidentally smash it, just because it slipped from their grasp or break it because they had used too much strength in handling the object.

It looked almost new, which was somewhat suspicious, considering how long the castle had been abandoned, and how there was no tale of someone braving the castle before. Maybe the townspeople simply had been unaware that someone might have come so far? But no, that wasn´t it either.

They carefully turned the mirror around to see it from all possible angles. Simple engravings were scattered all over it. Those also firmly placed the making of the mirror, in the same time period as the castle. The engravings were after all the same as they were in the small corners that hadn´t rotten away yet over the years. They had also never seen those signs before anywhere else.

Noting how the mirror hadn´t a single crack, they kept turning it in their hands. Still searching for some sign of imperfection or of age, but they couldn´t find those. So with a sigh they started to focus on signs that the mirror stored magic in some form, but this too came up empty.

With a disappointed sigh, they mentally prepared themself to a long trip back, to someone who could deal with old mirrors. They stopped, they didn´t think they knew anybody like that. So apparently the mirror would stay with them a little longer till they found someone.

They shrugged, pocketed the mirror, and made their way back out of the cellar with quick steps, walking back the way they had come from. Past the statue of the warrior and his grimoire, and back up the stairs into the main part of the castle. Before they entered the main part though through the doorway, they spoke a little charm. They didn´t use it often, but it was supposed to keep other spells away. For a bit of additional courage, they took a quick swig from their flask. Then they stepped into the main part, to leave the cellar behind.

_You are a monster_

They turned around not believing that the whispers that they had heard were really there. With a quick look cast around them, they proved that they were alone. Had they really just imagined that voice? Faintly, they wondered if they were finally going insane after all these years.

The spell of the castle, that was laid so long ago shouldn´t affect them any more. Maybe they had done something wrong, but that couldn´t be true either. Fear and dread had not made a home out of their mind again like they had before.

Their pocket grew warm, where they had put the mirror and the whispers repeated themselves once more. With quick fingers they pulled out the mirror, and peered for the first time since they had got their hands on it, in the reflective metal.

They recoiled a little, and had to scramble to not let the mirror drop, but they hadn´t really expected their reflection to look like this. It was covered in soot, like they had taken a trip through a fire, behind them was a dead dragon. They didn´t recognize it though. A vision from the future?

They frowned, they had no idea what this could mean. The mirror repeated the sentence again and again.

_You are a monster You are a monster You are a mon-_

With an angry yell they smashed the mirror down onto the floor, the shattering of the sensitive metal ending the constant stream of that same sentence and with a conviction they had never felt before in their life they spit out a single sentence, before leaving the castle to never return.

_**"I am not a monster!"** _

The shards of the mirror glittering almost peacefully in the light of the approaching dawn.


	46. Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I just feel so tired and unmotivated, as if the whole world could just swallow me up whole right there and then. I can´t pull myself out any more, when I get like this. 
> 
> I need someone at my side to do that for me, and I always feel so lucky when someone is then actually there for me, to help get back onto my feet, to help me move one, and to support me when I can´t.
> 
> For that I just want to say thank you.

One moment were they weren´t paying, and a slipping of feet later. A loud splash, sounded through the space, and they had face planted into a big puddle. Culprit just looked at them, obviously surprised at what had just happened.

There they were, sprawled out in a puddle of mud, completely tired. They only sighed, at the same time blowing a few bubbles into the mud, which plobed louder than was expected. A few more splatters of the dirt, splashed into their face because of this.

Culprit was still watching them, and broke out in something that vaguely sounded like laughter. They just shifted their face to look in his direction, to glare out of one way at him. That just made the horse laugh harder.

With another sigh, they tried to scramble back up their feet, which took a surprisingly long time. They slipped several times, and fell back into the mud, but they weren´t giving up that easily.

Another tired sigh, and they just feel back into the puddle, they turned themself on their back, the wet seeping through their clothes, through their skin, till it felt like it nestled into their bones, into their very being. They felt as if their very core self was sucking up the wetness, slowly faltering not unlike a wet tissue would.

They sighed once more, and started to shiver a little as a strong breeze came up. Wishing they could just fall asleep like this. They were so tired to begin with. Above them was the dark night, and they watched the stars above them. They really wanted to fall asleep right here. After all they were already on the ground, they were more or less comfortable down here. They just needed to close their eyes and let their consciousness and the real word fade away.

They groaned, as Culprit started to pull at their shirt, and their eyes snapped back open. Annoyed they refused to let themself be moved by their loyal companion. They closed their eyes again, as Culprit blew a hot wave of air at them. They just waved it away, not being bothered by the antics of their long time friend.

With another tired sigh they reached their hands out to Culprit, and he ducked dutifully under their hands, so that they could get a good grip on his mane. Carefully they worked to get their feet back under their body. Every time they felt their feet slip, Culprit was already there to catch them again, so that they could get their equilibrium back.

After quite a while they managed, with Culprit´s help, to stay standing. They clutched at his mane, as the two of them carefully shuffled out of the puddle. They looked down themself to see what kind of damages their little swan dive had dealt to their clothes, and honestly it could have been worse than it was right now.

Yes, they were covered from head to toe in mud. Yes, their clothes were clinging to them, because they had absorbed a lot of the water, that was previously in the puddle. And yes, it was kind of uncomfortable right now.

With a sigh, they slightly pulled at Culprit and together began to search for some shelter, and an opportunity to clean up for them, faintly hoping that they wouldn´t have to search for long. They pulled a face, when they quickly realized that every step of them was accompanied by a wet sound of their clothes.

They didn´t let go of their friend, till they finally fell asleep.


	47. Light Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How nice it is to see the sun again, after traversing for so long in the dark.

They kept crawling forward, they were nothing but persistent in their endeavour to get out of this cave, before it would start to fall on their head. With a tired sigh they came to a halt in front of the boulder, it must have fallen down earlier, when they were still fighting that creature. It really would have been too easy, if they could just leave, but it still would have been nice.

They let out a grunt, as they pushed themself with all their might against the boulder, and nearly started sobbing with relief, when they felt it moved. Their feet were slipping from under them, but they continued to fight their way back to the surface.

Oh, how they wished to feel the sun again, or a breeze dancing around them. They had been long enough down here, and they were exhausted and bloody, and not even all the blood belonged to them. They felt disgusting, and needed to find a stream, or another opportunity where they could wash up.

But first they needed to move this damn boulder. There was a loud noise when it finally started moving in earnest, and soon they had freed the mouth of the cave. Carefully they crawled outside, and took their surroundings in.

Promptly they sneezed, and soot and ash, a few drops of dried blood too, rose up around them like a cloud. They watched the cloud dissipate again, with surprise. They hadn´t really expected that to happen. Shakily they got back on their feet and just breathed for a moment.

It felt good to feel the light of the sun warming up their skin. Everything was so bright at the moment, that they could only squint their eyes at the moment. They hadn´t even realized how dark it was in the cavern. It was kind of surprising that they had even seen anything back there, when it had been so dark. Or was it simply that they had got used to the lower light levels in the caver, and needed to simply get used to the light of the sun again now?

Pushing an unpleasant memory of light and fire out of their mind, they lifted their hand to shield their eyes a little. Turning slightly around they looked back at the cave. The mouth of the cave was a simply an inky black.

It was frightening somewhat, when they compared it to how everything was just so bright around them. Everything seemed to glow, but that cave swallowed up all light. A shiver of fear overcame them, even though they knew that whatever was hiding in the darkness was dead. They had killed it after all, and it´s blood was still on their clothes.

Their eyes adjusting, they lowered their hand once more. Out here it was the middle of the day, and there was a town not far away. There they should probably find something to eat, and have a chance to eat.

They started walking, only to turn around with a groan, and snatching up their bag and coat, they had left outside, and quickly made sure that everything was still where it was supposed to be.

With a satisfied nod they started off again, their sword making a small metal noise with every step, as it connected with one of their shoes buckle. They would need to readjust that later.

Now, they were hungry, tired and in dire need of a bath.


	48. The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I selfishly hope that they will remember me...

They looked up, the stars twinkling in their constellations, they had known all their life. They knew that those constellations, held an unimaginable importance in some peoples lives, but alas they had never understood it themself.

_Drip!_

Putting all their faith in something so far out of their grip, out of their reach, just seemed so unreasonable to them. Though they sometimes did things that didn´t really make sense in hindsight, but they couldn´t help themself in those moments. The desire to help, to make something right again, usually overpowering them in those critical moments.

_Drip!_

They were still looking at the sky admiring the view. Yes, they didn´t, and never had, put their faith in the spiritual, but the stars were still nice to admire. For some reason they saw Anser clearly tonight, was he usually harder to see, and they smiled, connecting the stars inside their mind till they could finally see the whole Vulpecula. It wasn´t as faint as it usually was, when they tried to find it in the night sky. The little fox was chasing tonight brightly across the sky, and with a tired smile they watched it, hunt down the goose it was chasing after.

_Drip!_

It was cold tonight, their breath, coming out of their mouth in a white cloud, that slowly flew upwards, in the direction of the stars, till it vanished without ever reaching them. Somehow that thought made them feel a sadness, they hadn´t experienced in quite a while. They gasped once painfully, as the tears started to flow down their face. The tear tracks somehow burning on their skin as if they were acid, and soon they were crying in earnest, not finding the strength any more in their body to stop any time soon.

_Drip!_

Looking back up at the stars, their chest heaving with the sobs and grief of past regrets, they saw the stars once more. The same stars that they had never believed in, but that had guided them through this world, when no one else would, either because they didn´t have the patience to do that, or they were dead. Vulpecula was still shining so brightly from right above them, not leaving them alone. The little fox had been their unseen companion for so long, that they usually forgot it pretty quickly, but now it was the only thing keeping them tethered to this world.

_Drip!_

They were still laying on their back, put no matter how often they tried to get back up again, they fell back quickly. They knew that their breaths were coming shorter and shorter, that they couldn´t hold out longer, but they also knew that they were alone, so alone like they had been so often in their life.

_Drip!_

With desperation, they looked up at the stars, hoping they could find guidance among them once more, but they were quiet. The fox was still playing, but they also felt like it was watching over them.

_Drip!_

Was this really where it ended? Was this really their end of their journey? Had they come so far in their life, only to be discarded now? To be forgotten? To go alone, without friends or family? Was this really all that they would ever amount to? A soon-to-be forgotten warrior? Would the people they had known even remember their name?

_Drip!_

With a shaking hand they reached up to their chest, that simple motion was far more exhausting than they had ever expected, but they still powered trough unwilling to give up. They laid their hand on their chest, trying futile to stench the blood flow, but they knew that they were already too late to change the course of their fate now.

_Drip!_

Something built up in the back of their throat, turning their head they started to cough. More blood splatters than they would have liked flew out of their mouth. They turned their head back to the sky, and noticed how slowly their field of vision started to grey out.

_Drip!_

This was really the end, huh? With a slight breathless chuckle they started to close their eyes, the last image that they saw was the little fox, Vulpecula, shining above them.

_Silence._

Then they were alone with the darkness and their thoughts, and dead to the rest of the world.


	49. Joke Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can, and will, tell you this upfront, I am not one who makes jokes, makes people laugh. I am not a trickster in any kind of way.
> 
> And when people laugh, it was usually not my intention in the first place.

Laughter rang through the tavern, and even them couldn´t avoid raising an eyebrow in amusement. It wasn´t really their cup of tea, but they could bear with it. Jokes and laughter were surely something that was far from the unusual with them.

The woman, who was still snorting over her own joke, suddenly stood up straight. Obviously trying to get her bearings back, and contain her own laughter. Her voice was, even after all the efforts she had taken to calm down, still shaking with uncontained mirth.

That joke was horrible. It was a weird mixture of puns and the usage of stereotypes. Still the rest of the tavern broke out once more into laughter. It seemed as if she knew what would make the other patrons laugh by now.

They turned back to their food, disinterested in their surroundings for the moment. For a moment they caught the eye of the bartender who just shrugged at them. They frowned for just a second, till they turned around to quickly compare the boisterous trickster on the table with the bartender in front of them. The similarities between the two of them was nearly frightening. With a bit of shame they only now realized that the trickster was very likely the daughter of the bartender. It was one of the latest realizations they had made in their life.

Pushing that thought once more out of their mind, they focused once more on what was in front of them, and started eating, the cheapest option this tavern had provided. To their surprise the food wasn´t bad either, it was just what every farmer already had at home. So for the village it was nothing special, while for them, it was something good to eat for just a few coins.

On their plate was a mix of mashed potatoes and the local vegetable. Carrots if they could recognize the sludge right. Those had been cooked so long that they were barely recognizable, but still delicious. Even though they might not be the most reliable judge of that, considering they found everything that didn´t move any more, and didn´t have more eyes than were frankly necessary, and not reminded anyone of an eldritch abomination, delicious. It was a taste that was cultivated from travelling for a long time, and being used to go days without food.

They suddenly chocked when a, surprisingly, heavy hand landed on their back, which rocked them slightly forward in their seat. They still saw the scandalized look of the bartender in front of them, before they turned around, to assess who had assaulted them.

Behind them stood the woman, who smiled at them, with an uncomfortable amount of teeth. Carefully they shifted their focus on her, straightening up in their seat to directly look at her. Her grin got impossibly wider.

_"A traveller like you must know some joke too. Am I right guys!"_ , the last part she hollered over her shoulder, where it was answered with drunk laughter and yells of agreement. _"So c´mon! I am sure you can tell us a joke!"_

They swallowed, before opening their mouth, _"I hunt and kill monsters of every kind. I see the darkest parts of humanity. I deal with the despair and the ire of countless people. Death is my constant companion. Do you think that is funny?"_

She just looked at them perplexed, before she quickly replied with a _"No."_ She made motions as if she wanted to console them for their lack of a sense of humour.

So they quickly continued, _"Yeah, me neither"_ , keeping the same gruff voice they had been using the whole time.

She looked at them, laughed and patted them on the back, as if she wanted to congratulate a job well done, and went back to entertaining the crowd. They let out a relieved sigh, but it was short-lived, as they watched a man, pushing the trickster away and started to rally against them and their occupation.

Damn...


	50. Just Say No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what? I´ve had enough! All this running around, dealing with all that, which nobody wants to deal with, and the pay-off is usually unsatisfying too.
> 
> But I´m still doing it! For what? For nothing!
> 
> (fuck)

She was starting to get annoying. Usually they tended to not lose their temper this quickly, but today had just been exhausting.

First they had stumbled for several hours through the village, trying to find some useful information on what has caused the death of so many inhabitants of this peaceful village. Because at this point they had exhausted all, the things that they thought they knew about the creature, that was killing so many people.

After all they had already gone through all the caves in the surrounding area, trying to find something that may hide there. But there was nothing. No creature that preferred the dark was hiding there. So the next thing they did was checking up the close by lakes, rivers, and every last single stream, in search for mean spirits or sea creatures. They had once again come up empty-handed.

That had meant for them, that the cause of death, might be inside the village. So they had looked over the corpses one more time. The smell and state of them, still eye watering, which let them stumble a few steps back. Closing their hand over their mouth and nose, and trying to get the urge to retch under control. It took a few breaths, to get their body back under control. Carefully they checked the bodies, still keeping one hand firmly placed across the lower half of their face. There on the bodies were clear signs of a violent death. They tried to find some clues for what exactly it could have been, but they couldn´t figure it out. The scratches were deep, bruises around the arms and, lifting a torn skirt lightly, yes, also around the legs.

They stopped as the thought crossed their mind, that maybe the village didn´t have a creature problem, but simply a human problem. Maybe the people here simply were dealing with a serial murderer. Someone who had snapped, and was now going on a rampage. It would make some sense, because they really didn´t want the other option to be true. The other option was that they were dealing with something far worse.

Stopping in their tracks, they inspected the throat of one of the victims. They had at first glance thought that the ring of bruises were a sign of strangulation, with of dense the bruises were. But there was something weird. They leaned it, and saw, that there was lipstick smeared on the throat, right across the bruises. They leaned even further in, and the ring of bruises they had previously thought to be of strangulation, now didn´t seem so dense any more. There seemed to be bite marks on the victim´s throat.

They were hovering right above the corpse, when they suddenly got hold of a smell, other than decay. Some kind of perfume was wafting from the corpse. Quickly they checked the other body too. To their surprise, the smell came from all the corpses, that same perfume.

Running back to the main part of the village, to find the market or ask the families about that strange perfume, they suddenly collided with someone. They were in the middle of apologizing, when they suddenly caught a whiff of that strange perfume.

Before they could say something about it though, she was already on her way. Perplexed they just stood still for a moment, watching the girl vanish in the crowd, till they shook themself out of their stupor, and started to hunt her down. Either to warn her or to kill her, they didn´t know yet.

But they were knocked out after a few turns and ended up here, wherever here was, restrained with her prancing in front of them, trying to seduce them, and it was so annoying to them.

They felt how their last thread of patience snapped, and hoping that this would shut her up finally, they roared out a single, loud and powerful, _ **"NO!"**_


	51. Sunrise/Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun comes up, the sun goes down. It goes round and round. Without pause or break. It wanders evermore. Along the sky, along the sea. Everybody knows it´s gaze. It lightens up the dark, it cast a shadow far. Old and young, they turn their face, to see it´s everlasting gaze.

They were humming, just slightly to themself, as they gazed up. Seeing how the sky, that was just filled with millions of stars, that led their way so often, started to slowly turn red, as the sun was rising. They let their hands sink, holding their work of the night still tight, so that it couldn´t slip away and unravel again.

Carefully they reclined against the tree, that had given them shelter through the night, as they were repairing their coat and bag. The last fight had practically left both in pieces. They had also cleaned their weapons, so that they would stay sharp in the future. Both the sewing had taken them longer than they expected, so that they were still working at it, till a few moments ago.

Now they just let the oncoming sunlight wash over their face, as the sky was slowly painted with red and orange. Both colours announcing the start of a new day. They couldn´t fight back a yawn any more. It had been a tiring night.

Slowly needle and coat slipped from their hands, as they were lulled to sleep, while watching the new day. They stopped fighting sleep, thinking that they deserved a good sleep, after all that they had done, the past day.

They flinched once, when suddenly something heavy was draped across their shoulders, but it was just their blanket. They looked at Culprit in thanks, as the horse started to curl around them. Pushing them away from the though bark of the tree, so that they were leaning instead against him. With a grumbling that might have surprised them a long time ago, Culprit let his head drop into their lap.

With a tired sigh, they started to pet him, just dragging their hand over his mane over and over again. Above them the sun was rising higher and higher, and the sky was turning yellow instead. They could see the sun now too. It was rising above the mountains, and it was beautiful. The sky becoming brighter and brighter. Shapes that they couldn´t distinguish before in the dark, became so clear.

The word which was previously, shrouded in mystery and darkness, slowly let go of that veil, revealing the truth of it once more. Flowers and trees which were shades of grey, got their colours back, shining just as bright as the sun in the sky above.

When their hand grazed, the forest floor, they were sitting on, it came away wet. Not with blood, even though they had sometimes poked themself instead of the fabric, but with the morning dew. Everything was glistering and sparkling, like only mornings do.

The day was truly beginning, but while it was doing that, they fell asleep. Soon the singing of birds, was joined by a quiet snore, more an exhalation of air, than truly snoring, and nothing would wake them for quite a while. The morning found them like this, asleep for once, with their companion curled around them, as if protecting them in his sleep.

Yes, it was truly a beautiful morning this day.


	52. Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories are powerful, they always show us, what had an impact in our lives, what was important to us, and what changed us.
> 
> But, some of these I rather would forget already...

_A young child cowering in fear, flinching at every sound that is above a whisper. Bruises hidden behind the outline of it´s clothes. The child moves with fear in every step, it clings to it, and everyone can see it, but they all turn away. It´s eyes are dull, there is no hope for them any more. Tears stopped a long time ago, they just wouldn´t come no more, and now the child is just numb._

They flinched, and growled lightly in their sleep, before violently throwing themself to their other side.

The child is a little older now, hiding under a patchwork coat, trying to shield itself from the world. But the world doesn´t see it anyway. No one cares for the child. It tries to live of scraps it finds in the alleys. The child fingers became nimble ang quick, because it didn´t know any more how to help itself, without stealing. It also learned how to run fast. Though that doesn´t work every time. Bruises, before hidden, now are there for everybody to see.

They growl once more, kicking once in their sleep, and shimmy on the ground around, till they feel comfortable once more.

_The child is again older, but still a child. Somehow the world saw it, and it was saved. Their salvation came in the form of a gruff soldier, and clumsy witch. It loves it´s teachers, but despair comes to consume it. It shows in the red lines dripping down it´s arms. The child, who is surrounded by love for the first time in its life, doesn´t know what is happening. The red lines stop, when the Soldier and the Witch notice. Not immediately, but soon enough._

They grab their makeshift blanket, which is just their coat, tighter, and bury their nose deeper into the material. They had calmed down a little and their breathing was evening out once more.

_The child, soon a vagabond, leaves it´s teachers to find it´s path and place in this world. It won´t see them again. Both, the Soldier and the Witch, die in an assault. It comes back to bury them, crying at their craves for quite a while. It never returns, and never forgives itself for it._

Their face is covered in tears. They had started to cry at some point in their sleep, but hadn´t waken yet.

_The vagabond, who had travelled by sea and land, picks up the habit of a flask and a horse along the way. They get along just fine, and give each other much-needed company. They stopped crying themself to sleep soon. The sorrow left them. They take up fighting. The horse at their side wherever the vagabond goes. They both go to see the rest of the world together, till death parts them.  
_

They start to paw around in their sleep, as if searching for someone or something, that is no longer with them.

__  
The vagabond, older and full of scars, makes a friend, with a red-eyed girl, and a shy wolf. No matter what they may have felt, they always stay by their friends side. Soon they watch over a child. But devastation comes to them once more. They never see their friends again.  


With a gasp they shoot up into a sitting position. Sleep still heavy on their body, making their movements slow, as if they were underwater. They look around, eyes not staying still, searching for someone to latch on, but no one is there.

They are all alone.


	53. Tear-Jerker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know why betrayal hurts the most? 
> 
> Because it never comes from the enemy.

They gingerly stepped forward. Their friend was crying and screaming, obviously in pain because of what is happening right now. He was so young compared to them, merely a child to their ancient years, and they knew that this must feel like his whole world was ending. They almost felt like their world was ending too. The situation, that they had found themself in, was so different, then what they had previously expected, when they had prepared for the mission. They could understand that it could feel like everything was upside down now for their friend, like nothing was right any more, like nothing could righten this crime.

The demon in front of them wasn´t visibly reacting any more, it had stopped snarling a while ago, but they could still see the creases of annoyance slowly forming between it´s eyebrows. It stood protectively in front of someone smaller than itself, appearing to protecting the figure. They were confused that the demon, was protecting someone in the first place, and that it felt like it needed to protect that somebody from their friend, even though he was exceptionally angry at the moment.

Carefully they leaned to the side, to get a better look at whoever, it was protecting. Maybe unconsciously the demon mirrored them, slightly growling, but it sounded like it wasn´t putting it all behind that noise. It wasn´t really registering them as a threat at the moment, which wasn´t surprising the longer they thought about it. They watched him and suddenly saw the reason it was being so protective, considering that he was still screaming, still aggressing.

They carefully came closer to him. Almost hesitant, they had never seen him like this, and maybe that was frightening them, but it hurt them so much more. It hurt to see their optimistic and cheerful friend in so much pain, to see him so confused over what was happening, to see him lose himself like that. They desperately wanted to change that, to get their friend back.

Softly they laid their hand on his shoulder, already whispering comforting things, staying quiet enough so that the demon wouldn´t hear. They were trying to get him to see reason, they were afraid that otherwise he would run into his early and unnecessary death. Their consoling seemed to work, because his furious screaming stopped suddenly, and he grew still. They let themself be lulled into a sense of security. The room growing so quiet now, without his raging, but the serenity was suddenly broken.

_**SMACK!** _

The noise seemed ear-deafening in the room. Surprised they stumbled back, not yet comprehending what had just happened, but still slipping into a position they could defend themself easier from. They just stared at him, all the while absent-mindedly rubbing their hand. They were still processing what had just happened. Had he just slapped them away or were they just imagining that? They came closer once more, not quite believing it.

He was glowering at them, and in response they flinched back. They couldn´t believe that this was the person, they had really met in the beginning, and quickly made another few steps backwards in search for security. Had he been always like this, and they just hadn´t seen it before?

When he opened his mouth, it was cruel what escaped him, _"What do you know! It´s not like you care! It must be so easy for you to say all of this! Because you have nothing to do with it! It doesn´t concern you! You don´t even feel something"_

They tried to get a word in, not knowing if it was to defend themself or to try to calm him down, but it had no use. He cut them off immediately when they opened their mouth to say something. The demon was just watching them with careful eyes, and suddenly their world felt like shattering too, with his next words.

_"Leave!"_

They stumbled backwards, suddenly a pain radiated from their chest, and they gripped their shirt, to make it stop. He turned his back to them once more, to observe the demon, and they felt how tears welt up in their eyes. With a painful gasp, they turned on their heels and began to run.

Leaving the other behind.


	54. Dear Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I never had a diary. Never saw the sense of it. I remember everything anyway, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like, to page trough a book and to remember something you had already forgotten, simply it was once important enough for you to write it down.
> 
> Ah, but doesn´t matter now.

Their day had actually been fine. No disasters or immediate emergencies that had surprised them at the least needed moment. They hadn´t needed to hurry somewhere, because a letter, that requested their presence as soon as possible, had arrived from a few countries away, and they needed to push a travel which usually took three days into three hours. Always a journey that was exceptionally exhausting, and not always, actually very rarely, worth it.

But today none of this had happened. It was a peaceful, and serene day. The birds were singing and the flowers were blooming. Truly a nice day! There wasn´t a single way this day could have been better.

They had wandered into the next village, and were surprised there too. They weren´t immediately run out of the village, by people raising torches and pitchforks at them, like they had been before. It had only happened once, but that event had stayed deeply engrained in their memory. They hadn´t even been ostracized like before, no, instead the villagers were willingly talking to them. They learned surprisingly quickly of these peoples woes, and got to formulate plans to deal with those earlier than ever.

When they had departed to deal with the monster, everything went relatively fine too. No major injuries, just a bruise here or there. They hadn´t lost their weapons or anything else of their belongings. Their clothes were even in pristine condition too. Even the dealing with the monster corpse was somehow easier today.

On their way back they had found a few herbs that they could use in one of their potions, which they collected while happily humming to themself. With childish glee, they watched a squirrel jumping through the trees with wild abandonment for any kind of safety.

When they arrived back in town, they found quickly an inn that still had a room free. It was cheap, so that was the one they took, though they were surprised. Usually they shared their room with a few rats and a bit of mould, but this room. It was in a pristine condition, clean and nothing looked close to breaking apart.

Their dinner was great too. The cook clearly knew what he was doing. The food was simply delicious. The vegetables still could be bitten trough, instead of being a mash, that was trying to run from your plate. It wasn´t bland either, or too salty for that matter. Like they had said, their dinner was perfect.

This was obviously the point their day went to shit.

While they were still finishing up their food, enjoying the breeze of the open window, when a crow suddenly flew in and hoped onto their arm, holding out a letter to them. The crow shook it´s leg impatiently, trying to urge them to take the letter more quickly.

They complied with a laugh and carefully untied the letter. They unrolled it and began to read. All colour escaped their face, and tears started to collect in their eyes. Their friends had to be fine, the mortician had to be wrong. They couldn´t believe it, but there it was, black on white.

Yvette Crocetti and Sascha Matsushita were dead.


	55. Holding Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But strangely I feel at home in this place.

They were quietly humming, the scent of different spices surrounding them. Sascha was a little further away, gloved hands carefully sorting through the herbs that he couldn´t touch with his bare hands. They didn´t know where Yvette was, but she would probably soon come back, maybe she was out hunting.

Rosemary to rosemary, thyme to thyme, sage to sage and parsley to parsley. They were shaken out of their concentration when Sascha called for them. Slightly turning around to look at him, they watched how the witch, felt his way across the room. He had the tendency to sometimes stumble on the least likely things, so he tended to have at least one hand on a stable piece of furniture.

He came towards them, and made a motion with his head as if he was looking over their work. It always confused them when he did stuff like that. Sometimes it made them really question if he was blind or just pretending to be, usually though they pushed that notion out of their head, when he tried to grab several times the same bottle and missed, till someone, usually Yvette, just pushed it into his hands.

They were shaken out of their thoughts, when he grabbed precisely a piece out of the rosemary pile. For a moment they wondered what was wrong, till they noticed something. What Sascha was holding in his hands wasn´t another piece of rosemary, no, it was a piece of thyme. He just smiled, and let it fall unto it´s designated pile, without a comment.

They started to stutter out a question, but he interrupted them with a laugh and a slight tap to his nose, but wasn´t answering directly how he figured that one out. Instead, he turned around once more, grabbed his coat and the one that belonged to them. Theirs he threw vaguely into their direction, but they still had to make a jump forward to catch it, his own he pulled on, then made a motion with his hand that indicated that they should follow him.

They quickly put their coat on, and bounded after him. He was surprisingly fast, considering the fact that he couldn´t see where he was going. They caught up to him, slightly out of breath, and quickened their pace to stay next to him.

He just giggled, and reached out with one hand, gripping theirs tight, to pull them with him. He kept up the pace he had set, which resulted in them lightly jogging beside them, but that wasn´t what they had on mind at the moment. Instead, they stared at the hand holding their own. Nobody had ever hold their hand, not when they still were in the village, and neither when they were on the run.

Yvette always allowed them, to take hold of her sleeve, claiming it didn´t bother her, but she also had never taken their hand. It felt weird, but their hands also somehow fitted together. It was warm, and maybe they felt a little better connected now.

Sascha looked at them, clear worry on his face, but they just waved it away. They realized that he probably didn´t get that, and instead hummed happily. A smile broke out over his face too, and he started chattering about what they were about to do. They just hummed contently along, a feeling of safety spreading over their being, as the witch pulled them along.

Maybe this was what home felt like.


	56. Photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today here, tomorrow there;  
> Not even there, I have to go;  
> Have never complained because of this, have chosen this myself;  
> Never counted the years, never asked after yesterday and tomorrow
> 
> Sometimes I dream deeply;  
> And I think it is;  
> Time to stay and now;  
> To do something else entirely;  
> So goes by year after year;  
> And I know for a long time;  
> That nothing stays;  
> That nothing stays like before;
> 
> That I ain´t missed;  
> That I am already forgotten after a few days;  
> When I am already somewhere else;  
> Doesn´t bother me and I don´t care;  
> Maybe my face;  
> Stays in someone´s memory;
> 
> When someone asks why;  
> I am like that, I stay mute;  
> Because the answer is difficult for me;  
> Because what is new become old;  
> And what was yesterday true;  
> Isn´t right today or tomorrow any more
> 
> \- "Heute hier, morgen dort" by Hannes Weber (translated by me)

Behind them the far nothing, in front of them it looked the same. The mist surrounded them, nearly as tall as they themself were. The mist mountains, sometimes peaked through the heavy mist. Their clothes had a sheen of wetness already, but they kept moving across the open plains.

Their coat was still swishing around their legs with every step they took. The nestled their nose deeper into their scarf, and just breathed their own warmth in. After all that was all they had left at this point. They had one hand on their little flask, that was always filled with alcohol, and took another swig, to chase the coldness in their bones away.

They flicked a little of the dirt away from their coat, even though it was useless. The dust had settled on them like a second skin, that they simply couldn´t get rid of, not that they wanted to in the first place. The little loose threats of their clothes swayed in the breeze, that pushed their hair out of their face, and made them squint their eyes, to still see something.

They cast another look around, and saw a scenery that was so familiar to them, through all the years that they had spent on their travelling, just wandering from place to place, never with a clear destination in mind, but always going somewhere. Sometimes they rested where they felt comfortable, and sometimes they returned to a place that was already familiar to them, but they never stayed.

When they imagined staying somewhere their mind always drew a blank. They simply couldn´t picture themself any more, building a stable life or considering four walls of wood their home. Their home was the world. It hasn´t been since the beginning, but the years on the road, had somehow endeared it to them.

They saw so many places that others only could dream of, and the price was so little. It was the constant dirt under their fingernails, they could never clean, no matter how hard they scrubbed. It was the hard ground, they rested their head on so many times. It was the bone deep exhaustion that sometime followed them.

It was all worth it though.

Their hands always smelled of the earth they loved so much, and they always carried that pleasantly calming scent with them. When they looked up, when resting their head they could always see the stars that shined upon them every night, and read the stories that those lights always told them. The exhaustion was always chased away by another beautiful sight, may it be a dusk or dawn, another mountain or another village, and always the wind at their back to support them on their every step.

They always had the freedom to breathe. The freedom to close their eyes whenever they wanted, and to just breathe, to stand still as long as they wanted, to stand still, and to simply let the world move past them.

They broke out of their thoughts when they saw several structures raising themselves from the mist. Maybe another village, and that in tow another adventure.

With a giggle they broke out into a jog. The mist still faithfully surrounding them. The wind playing with them with every breeze. The grass crunching under their feet.

This was home.


	57. Alarm Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I die before I wake...

The transition from sleep to wakefulness was always different for them. It was never quite the same, in some sense they even appreciated that. It gave them something to focus on at the beginning of every day, a starting point where they already could decide if this was going to be a good day or a bad day for them.

They adored the days were the transition from sleep was gentle, a slight shift from dream to reality, were the sounds of the world around them slowly fed into their dreams. A bird singing on the outside, translated to someone whistling. It always made them chuckle when they realized that things like that had happened again. There was no hurry to them when they woke up like that, nothing urging them to spring into action immediately. They would stretch and yawn for a while, just trying to shake the lingering sleep and languidness from their body. It was simply like they already had said, gentle. It was a sure beginning to a good day, where they would be more relaxed than usual, just because they had slept well.

There were of course some days were they were asleep one moment and awake the next. They were always a bit suspicious when that happened, checking their surroundings just once with a calm eye, searching for a reason to be awake so suddenly. They usually found nothing, that could be the cause, and so gave up instead to start their day. Not only that, but they didn´t need to stretch these days, and usually didn´t even yawn, but they would appreciate the ending of the day nonetheless. All thoughts of sleep left their body the moment their eyes snapped open, their mind was clear not being addled with the last dregs of an already forgotten dream.

On other days they woke up fighting, scratching and kicking, gasping for every breath, as if they needed to fight for it, as if they needed to earn it. They curled in on themself, as if they needed to protect themself, clenching at their shirt with a desperation, that nearly ripped it in half. Their heartbeat was far faster than it was healthy, beating a rhythm like prey running from a predator. Their eyes were wide and filled with fear, unfocused and flitting from place to place, trying to discern something in the darkness. Something that was hiding behind the shadows just waiting for their wrong move to be made. Their dreams, nightmares usually, were still staining their perception of reality, making them see horrible, disfigured creatures in the shadows were there were none. They always needed some time, to calm themself down, to stop the shivering of their whole body, to regain their breath and their calm once more. It was always a bad omen for them, to wake up like this.

When they woke up close to people they loved, no matter how, they always tended to check up on those first. Sometimes they didn´t even go to sleep when that happened, instead choosing to stay awake and to stand watch, so that nothing could happen to those dear to them. May they go to sleep though, their first priority when awakening, was to make sure their beloved people were still safe and sound.

It was always a gamble to wake them up though, no matter who was waking them up. When someone shook them out of their sleep, they woke up, already fighting and attacking the person, while their mind had not comprehended who was in front of them. There was always a feeling of guilt in the pit of their stomach when that happened, that had at first only added to their solution to simply not sleep close to the people dear to them.

But no matter what, they were always glad to wake up, when they went to sleep.


	58. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I believe in second chances, I think that is one of the few reasons I´m still here. I am here out of spite, and to give life itself a second chance. So show me what you got!

The monsters they can´t fight, those that hide in the dark, above their throat and behind their eyes. It is an enemy invisible to everybody, but them, and sometimes they don´t even know if it really exists or if they had just imagined it.

It is a whisper that speaks of all the horrible things that they had done in their life. Not always necessarily things that are true, and they would see through it´s lies quickly too, if they weren´t so busy trying to subdue it again.

Sometimes it can be silenced with a sip from their flask. The alcohol burning on it´s way down their throat, and they always have to suppress the urge to spit right back out. They can´t even remember when they had started to drink like that. They think it may be sometime after they laid Yvette and Sascha to rest. An old man had seen them grieving in a tavern a few nights after, and just pushed the drink in their hand, with a declaration that it would help and ease the pain.

They usually try to not overindulge in that vice though. They know that it can, and will, mess them up if they ever go out to fight, and they don´t have all their wits together. If they got hurt or die because they were being stupid, they know their friends wouldn´t for give them for that.

But they still drink sometimes. After all it is the lesser of two evils.

There is another way to keep the monster inside their head quiet. It is like blood sacrifice, but they had sworn of it in their early youth, when blind eyes smiled at them with a care, and just patched up their wounds, when a raspy voice, tried to ease their pain.

They don´t know if they could bear to see their faces, and it doesn´t matter that both died so long ago, if they would start again. If they would once more to keep the monster quiet, start to drag the blade hidden inside their boots over their arms, and just stare at the red rivulets of blood running down their arm like water, to see it collect once more in a puddle at their feet.

No, they really couldn´t do that again.

Sometimes they tried to wait the monster out. They let it smash everything inside, and let it whisper poison into their thoughts and breathe it into their mind. It´s influence always showed, when they lost their patience, when they screamed and growled. But even that they controlled. They always managed to stop it in it´s attempts.

Though there was one place where they hadn´t that tight of a grip of their reality. The monster it truly ruled here.

The place was their dreams, when they let themself asleep. It usually descended on them like a vulture, torturing them with scenes of pure fear and desperation, till they started to choke on their own breath, and woke up with a silent scream.

At least, they always told themself, they still woke up, and hadn´t yet succumbed to something like a heart attack.

They chuckled as they took a swig, the voice getting quieter.


	59. Refreshed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I simply need a moment to myself. Just one moment were I can just breathe freely again.

Blood was coating them, and sticking to their skin in little countless patches, they were literally splattered from head to toe with the stuff. If they moved to fast, or stretched their limbs further than they had before, thousands upon thousands of tiny flecks of blood would flake of, and scatter around them like a red dust cloud or there would be a dripping sound, when still fairly fresh blood dropped to the floor.

They had stopped breathing through their nose a while ago. Chocking again and again on the thick scent of blood, that they simply couldn´t ignore any more, no matter what they did. So they opted for breathing through their mouth. Even though that was only marginally better, because now they could taste the blood thickly on their tongue, but it made them choke considerably less, than to smell it like before, so they continued with that.

Absent-minded they started to scratch at their chest. Their shirt made an uncomfortable cracking noise, and unsurprisingly their hand came back wet and coated in red. Under all the dried blood still hid the first wave of blood, that had sprayed over them. It was still wet, because it hadn´t been exposed to the air long enough to dry, when they were coated once more. The upper layers had mostly dried at this point, pulling at their skin and clothes, and starting to limit their motions.

They sighed softly, and started to carefully pull their hair away from their face. Blood was caked all over them, and they shook dried clumps, that stuck to them, ever so often from their fingers with an annoyed frown. They carted through their hair, trying to get rid of as much as they could. Their hair was sometimes stuck together, and it was borderline painful for them, to separate the strands again. They winced when they pulled a knot completely out on accident, just staring for a moment at the ball of hair in shock, that was now in their hand, before they, already complacent again, flicked it away from them.

They started to pick off the dried patches of their face. Scratching their fingers again, and again over their face, slowly getting the worst of it off it. They cleaned their fingernails, ever so often, with their teeth, and spat the now bloody spit out, not wanting to swallow that down, and adding to the taste they already had in their mouth. A fit of nausea overcame them at that thought, and they moved on quickly, not wanting to be idle on that train of thought, or they might actually vomit today.

They knew that they came closer, to where they had set up camp. The smell of fresh water came slowly to them, and they let out a wistful sight. The thought to just be clean once again, was the best thing that could happen to them at the moment.

They hurried their steps, and their sword started to hit their calf, which reminded them, that they would need to take care of that first, which resulted in a sigh of frustration from them. But that was what was necessary if they wanted to keep using that sword as their weapon, which was very much the truth. And considering they knew if no blacksmith that worked so meticulously as the one that made their sword on the weapons that were made, they knew that their sword was one of it´s kind. In quality, as in all other aspects.

Soon their camp came into sight, as did the lake they had set up right next to. They were lucky, as they immediately could see, that no one as come as deep as they did into these parts of the woods. They were also pretty sure that no one had stumbled over their set-up while they were gone. Even though they would later check up on all their stuff, simply to make sure that really everything was still where it belonged.

They had already absent-minded started with that assignment, letting their gaze fall over the clearing, unconsciously searching for footprints or tracks in the soil, that didn´t belong to them or weren´t there before. They saw that a fox must have come over their resting place, but it hadn´t come closer to their belongings. Instead, it apparently had chosen to make a big circle around it, to stay in the clear, in the case of a possible danger, that may come from their camp. They also couldn´t find any other animal tracks that came close to their direct resting place, and they nodded once satisfied.

They picked up their bag, keeping in mind their bloody appearance, as they didn´t want to stain, every fabric that they owned, and started to search through their bag with the tips of their fingers. After a little bit of fumbling they finally pulled out what they were searching for, and just threw it slightly behind them to continue their search for their other things.

When they had everything they needed, they picked up what they had thrown behind them, pressing it close to their chest, uncaring of the blood that was getting on the materials, as they could easily wash it off again. With their other hand, they started to fumble around to unfasten the belt they were wearing. They let it drop to the ground, while making a quick grip after their sword, so that it wouldn´t fall too.

Cleaning supplies in one hand, bloody sword in the other, they stumbled their way down to the lake, and just let themself fall to the ground. They had crossed their feet before, so that they were now sitting criss-crossed on the ground, maneuvering their sword around so that they wouldn´t stab themself to death on accident. It would be a pathetic way to go in their opinion.

Balancing their sword on their knees, they pulled a rag out of their supplies. It was old, but had always done it´s job rather well. Leaning forward they dunked it in the lake once, letting the rag soak up the water, then they pulled it out again, wringing it out, before they started to work.

With gentle strokes, they started to clean the dried blood of their blade, being as gentle as they could, as they came to the more stubborn patches. They sat like this for quite a while, scrubbing the blade clean again, being a little more forceful, where the blood had already tried to get it off, and more gentle where it was still wet. It was a lot easier on those patches to get the blood off after all. All the while, they sometimes dunked their rag back into the lake to get the blood out so that they could continue with their work.

At some point while they were doing that, they had pulled off their shirt, with an annoyed sigh, as a few droplets of blood had fallen down on the sword. It was easier that way, than to clean it obsessively, only that they would make it dirty once more.

First they started to pull their braces off, untying them with quick fingers and deft movements, and pulled after a moment of contemplation the laces out of the braces, seeing as they were also specked with blood and needed to be later cleaned once more. Then they pulled harshly their shirt off in one fluid motion. It cracked once loudly, and a cloud of red dust rained into their lap. The worst luckily avoiding their sword. They folded their shirt, and laid it to the side, then they threw their braces on top of it, deciding that they would deal with that at a later moment in time.

They started to stretch out their back with a satisfied sigh. It really was also a lot more comfortable like that. They had stopped cracking at every move they made, also considering that they could even move once again completely unrestricted. On their arms, and down their neck were still blotches of blood, but they didn´t really bother them at the moment.

When they finally managed to clean their sword completely, managing to wipe all the blood off, they pulled out a little bottle with oil out of their pile with supplies, and another rag, coloured differently than the one they used before. This one they didn´t wet in the lake, instead they poured a bit of the oil onto it, and started to polish their blade.

The sun was shining on their back, and they were savouring it. The warmth was pleasant to them, and it was gentle and not blazing or scorching. It spread through their whole body, and sometimes they rolled their shoulders in satisfaction.

It was exhausting, the work they did on their sword, but ultimately it was necessary. They had started to sweat slightly, but they kept at it regardless. They looked their blade over, checking for any kind of dirt, or places that they would need to oil, but there was nothing. With a satisfied nod, they deemed themself finished with that particular work, and carefully laid the blade to the side.

Then they let themself just fall back, enjoying the sun, that had begun to shine over the clearing, watching the sky and the clouds, before they closed their eyes for just a moment. They knew that they couldn´t fall asleep at the moment, that there was still stuff they did need to do before they could sleep, but for just a moment they let the sun shine down onto them and relaxed.

With a grunt they opened their eyes, and scrambled back onto their feet. They collected their cleaning supplies, and quickly walked back to where they had set up camp. Then their sword was collected and properly put away to the side. For a moment they stood over their bloody clothes, before they shrugged.

They grabbed their shirt and dunked it several times into the lake, trying to scrub out a few of those bloodstains, grabbing the fabric with both hands and then rubbing their knuckles, with the fabric between them together. That method, was only somewhat working, but they didn´t really care about that.

With their wet shirt in hand, they waked towards the next tree, and just threw the shirt over a low-hanging branch to let it dry. The wet shirt was still in the sun, excess water dripping on the forest floor, creating a small puddle in a matter of moments.

The laces, which usually held their underarm braces together got the same treatment, scrubbed in the lake, and then slung over the branch, right next to the shirt. Then the braces were next, they just wiped the leather down quickly, and let it dry. They put the braces next to their sleeping place, making sure that those wouldn´t lay in the direct sunlight. Deciding that they would later go over these with oil too, they put those out of their mind for now.

With sure steps they walked back to the lake, and started to undress the rest of the way. They put their clothes to the side, shortly inspecting their pants, bloodstained like the rest of them, and their boots, surprisingly clean.

They picked their pants up, and with those in hand they stepped into the water of the lake. Surprised they shuttered, the water was far colder than they had actually expected. Letting go off their pants, they started to hold their breath for a moment and closed their eyes, ducking their whole body under the water surface, to acclimate their body faster to the coldness of the water.

As soon as they had submerged themself completely, their eyes snapped open and their breath left them in a shuddering gasp. They watched with no little fascination, as the bubbles travelled back to the surface with no hindrance. Then they kicked once strongly with their legs, following the path the bubbles had shown them.

They broke again through the surface of the lake, water dripping over their face, and from their hair. With a quiet laugh, they started to shake their head like a dog would, and water droplets were flying everywhere. Keeping their head over the water surface, they saw how the blood that was previously on them, had washed off already, at least the blood that had still been wet. It flowed around them in the water till it dissipated completely, and they couldn´t find any trace of the red any more.

They saw that their pants had drifted slightly off, and so they followed them quickly. They scrubbed them, the same way that they had already scrubbed their shirt. Then they simply threw the pants on a sunny patch at the shore, not caring enough to hang those over a branch.

They decided that they would still stay a little bit longer in the water. Washing the rest of the blood off their arms, and sometimes going underwater to wash their hair and face. But even when they were finished, they just let themself drift on the surface, enjoying the sun that was shining down on them, and the slight pull of the weak currents of the lake.

They closed their eyes and just enjoyed their surroundings for a while. Listening to the singing of the bird, the rustling of the leaves of the tress, because of a slight breeze. There was a constant dripping noise, that was caused by their drying shirt. The breeze that sometimes came by was cold, but no match for the warmth of the sound, that was still shining down on them.

They stayed like this till the cold came truly back, and they started to shiver again. Opening their eyes, it seemed like dusk had arrived, with quick strokes they swam back to the shore, picking up their pants. They slung their shoes quickly over their shoulder, and started to dress themself while walking and still dripping water. Fishing their shirt out of the tree, they also put it back on. They hopped around for a moment, as they also put their boots back on. Then they picked up the laces from the branch, and simply tied them around the ends of their shirt sleeves, tightening them around their wrist.

Happy with their attire, they walked back to their sleeping space, carding with their fingers through their hair on the way. Sometimes pulling out a few of the more stubborn knots and tangles, till they just gave up.

With a tired sigh, they burrowed into the little nest they had set up, pulling their coat tightly around them like a blanket, their bag was like always used like a pillow. They checked sleepily if their sword was in reaching distance, and then they closed their eyes.

Soon they were fast asleep.


	60. Handle with Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t think such a small human being has ever shown me so much trust, as he did in those few moments.

They were still in a bit of shocked silence, while Vartouhi started chattering again. Lochan carefully pulled the child out of her arm, which she simply let happen, only looking up once, to track her husband´s movements.

While this was happening they were still processing what was going on. They listened with keen ears how Lochan started to walk around the room. The child, Ardito, happily giggling, pawing at Lochan´s face. He just chuckled and pressed the little knuckles shortly to his mouth in a tender kiss.

Lochan was humming, and Ardito started to imitate him. Vartouhi was watching this too, her smile fond, also quietly humming. She had an easy smile on her face, like they hadn´t seen in quite a while, and they were glad that their two friends were so happy at the moment.

They didn´t dare to disturb the moment of the small family, and instead turned their thoughts inwards. Contemplating and trying to wrap their head around to what they had agreed just moments prior.

They had agreed to be a back-up guardian to the newborn child, in the case that sickness or death, would come for Lochan and Vartouhi, that they would sometimes just be there for Ardito, to watch over him when needed, as friend or as parent.

Shaking their head, they sighed, already knowing that they would make some trips back here, more often than they usually did. That would be exhausting, but maybe it could be nice to? That would be left to see.

They were snapped out of their thoughts when Lochan suddenly sat down next to them, his body was angled towards them, and he was slightly holding his arms out, that were carrying Ardito. He was looking at them, an amused upwards quirk to his lips, one eyebrow raised.

_"Do you want to hold him?"_ His voice was as quiet as usual, and he pushed his arms out a little bit more when he asked his question, as if pushing Ardito more to them. He was waiting patiently for their answer, but they stayed still.

When it had finally settled in their mind, that he really wanted them to hold this fragile little thing, they threw a panicked look at Vartouhi, who just started laughing. They whipped their head back to look at Lochan, who just gave them a reassuring smile, pushing Ardito once more in their direction.

When they were sure that both were comfortable with this, and only then, they carefully reached out towards the child, their hands shaking. Lochan walked them quietly through it, how to hold the child and how they needed to adjust their grip, and it somehow worked.

Ardito, for some reason, didn´t start crying when they were holding him, no, instead he reached his little, small fingers up to their face, just giggling. They were fascinated by the trust this breakable being was showing them. It was weird.

They started humming the little melody, they had heard Lochan humming, as carefully as they could rocking the child. It worked well for a few minutes.

Suddenly Ardito started crying and panicked they trusted the child back into Lochan´s arms, who started shushing him. They just watched this wide-eyed and flinched when Vartouhi patted them on the shoulder.

Like they said, the child would really be a lot of trouble.


	61. Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don´t like it when people argue, but for some reasons I always fade into the shadows as soon as they start. It doesn´t matter who it is, I´ll just fade away. Unnoticed. Isn´t it so much nicer to simply get along?

She was screaming in frustration. That conversation was already lasting longer than they would have liked, but they couldn´t just slip away at the moment, and instead they had to listen to what was going on in the kitchen. It was muffled, but they could still hear Vartouhi furious scream, and then she continued.

_"You never listen to me. I can talk all day long, but no matter what I say, you just won´t listen! I told you what I think about that, but you go and do it regardless!"_

When Lochan answered, he was quieter, but they could still hear him through the walls. He was louder than usual, voice raising above his usual whisper. He kept a sweet like honey voice as he answered her, and they already knew that it would rile her up, more so than she already was.

_"You have to see the sense in it. It is important to me, and you know that!"_

His voice became a little more forceful at the end, as he was trying to make her see sense. A slight growl had already slipped into his tone, making it clear that the argument was starting to wear him down too.

 _  
"Why is it more important for you to sate your pride, instead of just staying safe!"_ , her voice rose into a screech at the last word, but she wasn´t yet finished with her tirade. A desperate tinge joined her voice, as she pleaded him to see her side of the argument.

_"Are you even thinking about me, about our child. Has it even crossed your mind what we would do without you here!"_

There was a waver in her voice, they hadn´t heard ever before. He apparently had heard it too, his tone now more reassuring, trying to console her rather than to rile her up.

_"Vartouhi. I will be back before you even notice that I am gone. I am in no danger out there. I am safe. I promise"_

He put an emphasis on being safe. They started to stand up, thinking for a moment the argument had ended, and that it was safe to come out again. They were wrong. She started up again, and they silently resigned, gave Ardito´s crib a push. The toddler was still sleeping peacefully, rocking in his crib, while they made their way to the kitchen, where Vartouhi had started screaming again.

_"But I don´t want you to go! Why aren´t you realizing that. I don´t want to be left alone here, while you are out there, bringing yourself in danger, do not tell me again that it is safe, it isn´t, while I am staying behind."_

They arrived in the doorway, seeing the couple the first time since they had started to argue. Vartouhi looked frazzled, her black hair flying around her like an angry cloud, red splotches covering her face. She was standing in the middle of the kitchen, arms outstretched, and fury radiating from her in waves.

_"Is me leaving really the problem here?"_

His voice was quiet. Lochan never really took up a lot of space he didn´t now either. He was sunken into his chair, appearing as non-threatening as possible. The set of his shoulders though showed that he was stubborn at the moment. They were sure that he wasn´t going to back down, on whatever he had settled.

 _  
"Of course that is the problem! That is after all why we are still arguing about it!"_ She seemed slighted that he would have even thought of asking her that. Then she got silent, and with a breath all the anger seemed to leave her frame. She sighed and admitted in a quieter voice, _"Maybe it isn´t."_

That seemed to have got his attention, and he sat up a little, while she dropped dejected into a chair of her own. She let her face drop into the palms of her hands, and he reached out towards her. Both still hadn´t noticed them standing in the doorway.

_  
"Then what is bothering you?"_

He was watching her, angling his head up, as if looking up to her, which, considering the height difference between Lochan and Vartouhi, looked slightly comical. She just sighed, settling her hands on her lap, before she decided differently and laid one in his palms. She sighed and looked sideways at him without turning her head.

_"I don´t think I want you to go out while I stay here. I want to help with our resources too. I feel like I am being left behind"_

She sounded exhausted, and slumped more into her chair. Lochan leaned closer to her, gripping the hand she had offered him tightly. He looked so concerned for her, and for a moment they contemplated if they should leave the couple alone. He pulled her hand slightly towards him, and started to speak again, his voice as soft as always.

_  
"But that isn´t what I´m trying to do here. I would never leave you behind. You mean everything to me"_

She looked up at that, a small smile on her face, which was mirrored on his face. They leaned back slightly to look in the direction of Ardito´s room, to see if the child was still alright, before they returned their attention to what was happening in front of them.

_"I know. You are everything to me too. I just want to help you."_

Vartouhi was being tender, and brought her hand up, to lay it against his cheek. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into her hand, looking so peaceful. Tension, they hadn´t even realized was building up in them, suddenly left them, feeling more relaxed than before.

_"But someone needs to stay here."_

He opened his eyes to look at her again, when he said it, and they chose that moment to step into the kitchen again, making a decision. Before she could start to argue again, and Vartouhi would, her shoulders had noticeably tensed again, they coughed, drawing the attention of the two to them.

They explained that they could watch over Ardito, while the two were out, that they would stay here, as long as was needed. Surely they could do this for a while, while the two could go sort out their business, and both return happily and healthy.

Vartouhi´s eyes started to glow, and she jumped up, falling them around their neck with a tight hug. Lochan also started at them with a raised eyebrow, but they just waved him away, before he could even try to hug them too. They didn´t needed to be choked by two people.

_"Really you would do that?"_

She had pulled away to look at their face, a questioning glance in her eyes. They just nodded, reassuring her that they would be perfectly fine. Vartouhi glanced back at Lochan, then back at them, before breaking out into giggles. Lochan joined in too, while they just shook their head.

What a strange little place they had landed at.


	62. Slip Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their bad days.
> 
> So do I.

They ground was wet, the cobblestone slippery, as they started to run after the scent. They were sure that this was the same perfume, that they had smelled before. Thousands upon thousands of thoughts were running through their head, as they tried to keep her in their sights.

Another slip of the feet, stumbling into another villager. They apologized quickly, and kept running after the woman. Following her as she started to take to the alleys. How could her perfume be on the victims? Was it just a popular scent? But then how come they hadn´t smelled it till now? Had she seen the victims before they died? Could she be even responsible for what was happening?

They had no answers to these questions, but hoping that she could, and would, answer them. If only they could catch up to her. The woman vanished around a corner, and scrabbling to keep themself upright, they followed as quickly as they could.

Then a sharp pain, as something connected to their temple. They fell down. The force unexpected. They had trouble keeping their eyes open. Then everything went black.

They woke up, snapping their eyes open and their head up. Panicked they looked around, before they started to calm down once more. That would be of no use to them right now. It looked like they were in some sort of basement. Water dripping steadily in, collecting in a corner to form a puddle.

They could see a staircase, but not where it leads. When they tried to move, they were hindered by something. They looked down, and realized that they were tied. Great. Just what they needed. See, this is why they shouldn´t panic, not even for a moment.

With an annoyed grumble to themself they started to figure out the ropes, with which they had been tied. It wasn´t as complicated as they had expected, and if they would pull on this, and wiggle their hands that way, then maybe they could.

They stopped in freeing their hands from behind their back, when they heard a loud bang, as a door slammed open. Someone came down the stairway, after just one moment of contemplation, they just let their head drop back down, playing unconscious.

Still they kept fiddling with their bindings, whoever put them here wasn´t afraid to punch their lights out, their aggressor surely wouldn´t stop at assaulting them just because they wouldn´t respond.

Suddenly they could smell the perfume again. They weren´t idiotic enough to believe that she would help them. After all they were put out of commission while following her. She came to a stop in front of them, and it started to become an effort to keep their breathing deep and rhythmic.

Luckily their body was hiding their hand movements, they kept themself as relaxed as they could, when they suddenly felt a hand stroking through their hair and down to their face. They had to suppress a shudder with all their might, which stupidly made them tense.

They heard a victorious yowl, when their head was wrenched up, and they tiredly opened their eyes. Like they had thought the woman was standing in front of them. They gave her a tired smile as she let go of their head and happily clapped her hands together.

They started to unbind themself further, as long as she was busy and not focused on the that should work. She, as if reading their mind, suddenly turned back to them and dropped to her knees in front of them.

Raising their eyebrows, they leaned back into the wall, while she started to crawl towards them, whispering sweet nothing´s in the air between them. They flinched away when she started to grasp their face, but that didn´t deter her as she grabbed it again, her fingers digging into their cheeks.

They tried to pull their face out of her grasp, but she held on tight, leaning in closer, her lips nearly touching theirs. For one horrifying moment they thought that she was going to kiss them, but instead she leaned to the side of them. Still whispering her sweet nothing´s, still pressing herself closer to them.

Her voice was grating on their nerves, and they tried to somehow keep their distance from her, but suddenly two things snapped. The first was their patience, and they roared out a loud disagreement, and while she sat back shocked, nearly at the same moment their bindings snapped too.

Great.


	63. Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a moment I had feared for Casey´s life, I´ll be honest with you.

They had to admit, they enjoyed food like very likely everybody else did. They weren´t even that picky about what they ate. It was a habit born out of necessity, from a youth where they had to find their food themself, and later through their travels, were being picky, just wasn´t something they could be.

Obviously they were some kind of foods, they still refused, choosing to rather stay hungry. Especially if their food had eyes and still moved, in it´s cooked state they might add. But that was also something they didn´t like to do. Killing something to then eat it, rather they admired animals when they were still alive, but they had no qualms about picking already dead animals up and prepare them.

It doesn´t really matter. Anyway over the years they had found a balance in their eating habits, that was somewhat healthy and still allowed them to do their job, and stay comfortable with their actions at the same time. They sometimes thanked the stars, that they could onto at least a few of their principles through their tumultuous life, which constantly forced them to adapt quicker than they wanted.

But even though, they had reached that balance, they were still some kinds of food, that they simply loved, but simply couln´t get on the road. This particularly one, was one that Yvette had favoured, and Sascha had always known how to make it, and while they were sitting here, the smell dancing around their nose, a feeling of comfort came over them.

With a giggle of his, they started to rock Ardito on their knees once more, telling him a silly little rhyme about a horse rider, who get eaten by ravens. Vartouhi threw her a raised eyebrow at that, but they just raised their shoulders as the child on their lap, started to laugh once more.

Vartouhi was flitting around the kitchen, and they were watching her, just as much as they kept an eye on the child. They raised their head when Lochan came through the door, he stopped shortly when he saw them, but they just quietly waved, and he turned back to whatever it was he was about to do.

Ardito, was getting restless, and so they stood up, grabbing one of his hands, and they made their way out of the kitchen. They would hear it when one of their friends would call, so they chose to go on a small walk with the young child.

Telling as much the parents of the boy, they were just waved away, and so off they went. Ardito was telling them about what ha happened since the last time they had visited, he had seen a butterfly, what would be for dinner, chicken and garlic, and what he had learned, he knew a lot more word than before.

They answered all the questions Ardito was asking, making sure to skirt around some topics than just wouldn´t be appropriate for children, no matter how interesting a story they would be, and so they talked and talked, when suddenly they stopped.

There was a little chicken here before, and they hadn´t see it yet. What was dinner again? But before they could worry themself further about that, Ardito started running. They took after him, not knowing if he would get in trouble.

With a loud call of Casey, Ardito picked up, an older looking hen, that squawked once, when it was picked up, and they smiled. Apparently they had worried over nothing. Ardito was cuddling with the chicken, they had gifted him, a long time ago, which he took to calling Casey.

They faintly heard Vartouhi calling, and so they grabbed Ardito´s hand, who was still holding Casey, and made their way back to the house.


	64. Sing a New Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song here is C'est bientôt la fin from the musical Mozart L´Opera Rock, which is really dear to me. So I really wanted to incorporate it for this prompt. I really recommend to just listen to it.
> 
> * * *
> 
> What a beautiful night.

It was time

_Ce soir c’est le grand bal  
Mets du fard sur tes idées pâles  
On va faire tanguer les étoiles  
Bien plus haut  
Bien plus haut, encore_

They pushed their hair back once more, fiddling with their clothes. They felt uncomfortable in such elegant garments, but that is what they needed to wear on this festive occasion. Closing their eyes they took a deep breath, trying to see things a little more positive, than they usually did. They had to make sure, to take these matters on, with a positive mind, and not with their usual drab and greyed out mindset, a little colour would be good for them. They would make this, and they had to trust in that. With a confident smile on their lips, they stepped forward. They wouldn´t make these people trust them, they would manage that at the end, these people thought that the idea was their own. They would go so much further than gaining their trust.

_Ce soir c'est le grand jour  
Allons voir tomber les tambours  
La fanfare des soldats de cour  
Sonne faux  
Sonne faux, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore_

They had waited for this evening, for this opportunity, for so long, and they couldn´t quite believe that this was really the big day. When everything went after plan, they could be capable of stopping all this non-sense, that had bothered them all their life. Faintly they thought of their teachers, they had met so long ago, their death sometimes still rang hollow in their heart, as did those that followed. They had heard so often these bells, they wouldn´t hear them once more, and their hollow sound.

_Allez viens  
C’est bientôt la fin  
De ce monde  
Qui n’entend rien  
Allez viens  
Sonner le tocsin  
Fais valser leurs vieux discours  
Viens danser c’est notre tour_

Their steps were ringing out, when they finally moved into the room. Their smile sat more easily on their lips than it had before. The end of the world as they knew it was close. It didn´t really surprise them, that no one turned around, at the sound of their steps. But they kept moving, always moving forward. They knew that the church bells would ring out, when the topic would change. But it was their turn now, on this last ball.

_Ce soir c’est le grand soir  
De velours nos rêves se parent  
On accourt pour un nouveau départ  
Bien plus beau  
Bien plus beau, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore, encore_

This evening they would change everything, maybe that evening would even be remembered for what it brought. Their dreams and those of so many others, wouldn´t just simply vanish any more. Those dreams would stay, as they would rush in for a new beginning. A new beginning that would be so much prettier and better, than the one they had lived before. Step after step they moved forward further and further, past the nobles that still hadn´t noticed them.

_Allez viens  
C’est bientôt la fin  
De ce monde  
Qui n’entend rien  
Allez viens  
Sonner le tocsin  
Fais valser leurs vieux discours  
Viens danser c’est notre tour_

Their steps were ringing in the grand hall, but not a single person heard the sound of their footsteps. They walked, head lifted proudly, back completely straight. Their coat swished around their feet, it wasn´t the one they usually wore, but that didn´t matter at the moment. The smile that had grown more and more confident as they kept walking, still played around their lips. It truly was their turn now, they realized with a slight spring in their steps.

_J’ai bu l’amour  
Au souffle amer  
J’ai vu les tours  
Tomber sur terre  
J’ai vu l’or noir  
Saigner la mer  
Tous les regards  
Vers l’éphémère_

At once all that had brought them here was running through their mind. They had tasted loved, knew the feeling that could make everything so much more beautiful, could also as easily destroy them, and throw them into the deepest poisonous pits. They were so old, that they had often watched how towers were constructed, only to fall into rubble, on the abandoned earth. They had seen everything of worth in their life, and how the seas could bleed. They knew the people and their obsession with ephemera.

_Je vois fleurir  
Le jour nouveau  
Je crois le rire  
Du fou là-haut  
Je veux saisir  
Tous les mystères  
Et m’affranchir  
De l’éphémère, de l’éphémère_

Confidence overcame them, and they could already see the new day blooming on the horizon, and when they closed their eyes, it was already here. Even in the laughter of the lunatic, so high-up, they were believing. Their desire to grasp at every mystery grew stronger, to make them go away with ephemerally. A feeling overcame them as if they could accomplish all this, they had set their mind too.

_Ce soir c’est le grand bal  
Mets du fard sur tes idées pâles  
On va faire tanguer les étoiles  
Bien plus haut  
Bien plus haut_

This really was the evening that would change it all. They could feel it in their bones that this ball would change it all. It wasn´t even an effort any more for them to forget their pessimistic thoughts, and to keep them positive and colourful. Somehow they were sure that even the stars were listening to what would happen here.

_Allez viens  
C’est bientôt la fin  
De ce monde  
Qui n’entend rien  
Allez viens  
Sonner le tocsin  
Fais valser leurs vieux discours  
Viens danser c’est notre tour_

They came closer and closer to their destination. Faintly they had started humming, adding to the noise that every step was making, and still not a single soul seemed to notice them. The ringing of the bells would symbolize a new world. They indulged themself in a little twirl, like other dancers on this ball had already done. Their time was here so, close that they could already grasp it with their fingertips.

_Allez viens  
C’est bientôt la fin  
De ce monde  
Qui n’entend rien  
Allez viens  
Sonner le tocsin_

They came to a halt before the ruler over this place and countless others. Clapping their hands, which didn´t do anything, they bowed down with a flourish. That somehow got the attention of the people, sometimes it really seemed as if they were all deaf. No wonder, their time and era was over. They turned their head with a brighter smile than before, when they heard the church bells ringing.

_Aimons-nous sur leurs décombres  
Aimons-nous pour un nouveau monde_

And they opened their mouth to speak.


	65. Telephone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wish to be by your side, to support you when you need it in the end.

They looked up when they heard the cawing of a bird. Surprised they stretched out their arm, they hadn´t really expected a letter. They didn´t even know who would write them at the moment, but still they let the bird land with a smile on their face. It nuzzled it´s head against their cheek, and they absent-minded pulled out a treat for it from their bag. While the bird was eating they carefully untied the letter from the bird, to start to unfold it.

_My dearest Friend,_

They laughed once happily, as they recognized the handwriting. They were pretty sure that this was the student of the old man. Excited they continued reading.

_I know that a lot of time has passed since I have written you for the last time, but this is important. I will not waste both of our time on pretty words. We both know that we are not fond of those, but still I admit that I should have written you sooner._

They started to frown. It wasn´t like he was wrong, exchanging pleasantries really wasn´t one of their favourite past times, but it wasn´t really like him to cut to the chase like this. They couldn´t really imagine what must have had happened for him to talk like that.

_The occasion for my call to you is dire. I know that you always keep your eyes and ears open for what is happening at the moment, so you might already know what has happened. If you are not on your way already, this is my plead for you to change direction and come to our help._

They might have really an idea of what he was talking about, but if they were honest they had always hoped, that it wasn´t as dire as it sounded at first. That the people were overstating some facts to make it seem more like a story, but if he was writing it, then maybe there was more to it, than they previously thought.

_I myself am sadly involved in those matters at this point. The reason has broken my heart for why I fight, and I desperately find myself to want to protect you of those news, but I also know that I can not. Alas our friend was taken cruelly from us. I know that you held him in such high regard, I myself always saw him as a father, and I admit my grief, has finally pushed me to fight._

They had noticed how the paper seemed tear stained, before what was written there really sunk in. They gasped, not quite believing what they had just read, but still tears gathered in their eyes, and with a chocked sob they started crying. The familiar feeling was running through their veins, and melancholy took hold over them.

_I can not sit idly any more and I have taken up my weapons once more to fight. I do not know if this is out of anger or the want to protect others from this devastation. I really can not tell you that any more, but I still hope that you will come. Come to our aid, in those dark times._

They realized, even through the numb feeling that came over them, what was asked of them, but they held still. They didn´t know if they were capable of that. The situation they would bring themself in, was so much worse than anything else they had ever fought in, and they weren´t sure if this was really a challenge they could face.

_I can and will not hold it against you in any kind of matter, when you are not there in due time. I always knew that we both had and still do handle grief differently, but even when all of this is over I would love to see you again._

At that moment, when they read those words, they had made their decision. They at least wanted to stay by his side in his troubling times. They knew, that if they brought their grief up with someone, that it would be at least be acknowledged, that they would be comforted. It also helped their decision that they knew exactly who they would be fighting, even if it would be a far cry from their usual assignments. They just couldn´t leave him behind, not when they both had lost that old man.

_Love_

With a laugh they realized that the bit of the letter was chewed off, and they threw the bird a look, which was ignored. They folded the letter quickly and pushed it into a pocket. With a last look to the sky, they turned into the direction they needed to go and hurriedly took off.

They had places to be after all.


	66. Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rose by any other name is still a rose.
> 
> The same holds true for me.

A name is fickle, and never means the same thing for everybody. A thing most people get recognized by, just a random assortment of sounds that are supposed to make up who you are. If you know the name of someone, people will think that they know who you are. Some are satisfied with their name being freely spoken among friends and family or even strangers, others want to make a name of themselves, so that everyone recognizes that name with them. Once more others aspire for their name to be only spoken with terrified whispers.

Somehow that still confused them. It wasn´t like that they didn´t have a name of their own. The contrary was true actually. They even introduced themself in the beginning rather often with it, they had just realized that titles and description worked a lot better in most cases, and had resorted to let the people they met choose for themselves what they would be called.

They still remembered fondly, how Yvette and Sascha, had so long referred to them as Student or Little One, because this was what they were for these two most of the time they had spent there. After all they really were learning from both of them and considerably smaller, than even Sascha. They had reached Yvette hip when they had met her for the first time, and had only come up to the chest of Sascha.

The only thing they had been confusing for them at the beginning were the other fond nicknames the duo had given them, and these two always came up with something new. A Sweety here or a Honey there. A certain sense of amusement overcame them, when they realized that both, Sascha and Yvette, also tended to avoid each other names, and instead those were replaced with sickeningly sweet nicknames for the other.

The idea for them that a name might just not be important in the end was only supported through the company of Culprit, who didn´t use words to begin with. He tended to get their attention trough light shoving, and when they really wanted his attention, they tended to whistle. Only when they really needed to talk, they used the name they had given him.

They had thought in the beginning that they would have to get used to be called by their name when they had first met Vartouhi and later Lochan, but those two continued the unsaid tradition without a hitch. She had never really asked their name to begin with, and instead the word Friend, became what she would know them by. He was too stressed and nervous to ask their name, and had accusingly called them first Hunter, which had overtime morphed into an affectionate nickname.

Even the child, Ardito, came to the habit of calling them Friend, sometimes Teacher and often Guardian. They didn´t even know any more if they ever told the young boy their name, but when they looked back it never seemed important.

The things they hunted usually had vile things to say to them, to express distaste and fear to them, called them often enough a Monster, while the people of the villages usually agreed on that sentiment, they were called something different by a selected few. Those that had only seen them at their best, the word Saviour or Hero would come into the air, which they always tried to decline.

They frowned when they remembered something else. It was ridiculous in retrospect, but as a child they had sometimes wondered if they even had a real name or if it was truly one of those horrible things.

They shook their head, not wanting to dwell on old memories. It didn´t even matter in the end. On their travels they had found out that a name really wasn´t as important as they thought. The people that they were close to, would always recognize them no matter what. It was their personality, their manner of speaking, the way they moved and their actions, that made others aware of who they were. A name couldn´t even compare to the identity they had built for themself like this.

They were never the same, but always recognized.


	67. Dollhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quiet and perfect. Never a description that could be applied to us. He was never quiet and Iwas never perfect. We met with a disaster, and embody one whenever else we cross paths again.

Everything was quiet. There was nothing that they could hear, no singing of birds, no rushing of the wind past their ears. It was eerie, far too silent. The cacophonies, that was usually their surroundings was just gone. What was frightening was that it seemed so normal for this place.

They could hear how their blood was rushing through their veins, and every step of their echoed far too loudly across the hall, till it was swallowed again by the darkness. It felt like they were disturbing the silence. They breathed in once shakily.

It felt like they were being crushed by the artificial way their surroundings quietened everything. The people, carved from stone, just looked at them. Every breath they took, was a fight, because they felt like it was chocked from them.

They slammed against the wall, trying to stay on their feet. If felt like the statues were all looking at them. Trying to shake that feeling off, they started to shuffle alongside the wall, with one hand loosening the collar of their shirt.

They couldn´t go back in there, they couldn´t just pretend that everything was alright. They had seen what had really happened, they were there, but those idiots wanted to pretend that everything was fine, that everything was just like always. They couldn´t do that.

Far too often had they done it in their youth, pretending for the sake of the little village that they had grown up in, that the screaming didn´t bother them, that it wasn´t even happening. They had pretended that they were no bruises that everybody could see, that wounds and so many aches, didn´t limit them in their movement.

They had pretended so much in their youth, and really they might have become an actor in another life, playing in operas, and feeling the warmth of a stage, because that wasn´t so different from pretending. But they hadn´t. They became instead, whatever it was that they were now. At the moment close to tears because they could barely breathe, scratching at their hands.

They looked back at the door, where they had come from. Even muffled they could still hear the laughter from inside. How could they enjoy themselves? How could these people just ignore what has happened?

Abruptly they looked away, instead focusing once more to stabilize their breathing, closing their eyes, and just trying to breathe once more, without shaking gasps and coughing. _"Not one for the crowd, huh?"_ They shook their head, before their body seized up, and they violently threw themself away from the voice.

With a wild eyes, their breathing once more elevated, they watched how a young man, was rolling over the floor with his laughter. He was alive, and destroyed the heavy silence that had hung around them like a veil, in a matter of moments. Bright and loud, that was the first impression he gave them.

Slowly they picked themself up from the floor, staring at the moment, that had rolled onto his back, still gasping for breath. They slowly stood up again, still keeping their eyes on that strange man. He still sometimes giggled, just short little bursts, that always were on the verge on breaking out into full-blown maniacal laughter again.

They walked over and held their hand out, expecting the madman to stand up again, and he reached up and took it with a gentle smile. They made a motion to pull, and saw how the smile morphed into a wide grin, then he pulled them down. Not expecting the momentum of this, they fell down, and over his lap.

He broke out into hysterical laughter again, and in their mind he began to less resemble a nobleman, like his clothing made you think, and more a hyena or a man child, with no sense of manners or grace. They just waited, still laying in his lap, till his laughter faded out again, in boredom they had started to tap their fingers rhythmically.

He sighed once, long and drawn out, with a lot more of his voice than really necessary, and leaned back, putting weight on his hands, which he had placed a bit behind his back on the floor. He flexed his legs in the same rhythm, they were tapping on the floor, seemingly occupied with his own thoughts.

Then after a while, he looked back down at them again, offering them a hand, _"Theophilius, the name."_ They took his hand, but just raised their eyebrows at the name they were given. The name Theophilius really didn´t fit the man in front of them.

They picture they were probably making, let another wide grin spread across his face, and they couldn´t contain their own mirth, about how ridiculous the situation they were in just was.

He really drove the silence away with his laughter, and they just adored him for it.


	68. Gastrochilus obliquus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The language of flowers still evades me, so does the language of music. I have problems understanding those fine-tuned things, but he never minded that.
> 
> He really never did...

They walked with hast steps toward the tall door. Every step echoing in the empty hall, faintly they realized that their steps were always easily heard, especially in empty surroundings like these, when they weren´t actively trying to stay quiet. Behind the oaken door they could hear music, and they knew he was doing it on purpose at this point.

With a heavy thud, they threw open the doors, which slammed against the wall, and dust seemed to fly through the air at that motion. He was ignoring them, acting like he wasn´t bothered by the noise. Letter still crumpled in their hand, flowers in the other, they started to tap their foot impatiently, they knew that the old man, wouldn´t hear a single thing, that they would say, when he was still playing.

Theo wasn´t really bothered by their entrance though, and continued to play on the piano. They didn´t know if he was composing at the moment, or just playing to keep them waiting. Whatever one it was, was definitely slowly grating on their nerves.

Instead of waiting any longer they growled out his name angrily, not any nickname either, full name, titles and all. His slender fingers stopped playing the tune on the piano, and he flinched slightly. Theo turned around to look at them, obviously taking in their agitated state, the way they were still slowly crumbling the letter, while holding the flower delicately as if not to damage it.

_"What is wrong?"_

Their mouth fell open, and all words escaped them. The gall of this man sometimes! Enraged they just waved both letter and flower in his face, the former definitely more furious, than the latter. Taking a deep breath, they started to explain what their problem was.

It basically boiled down to the fact, that he had sent them expensive flowers, a thing they weren´t accustomed to, and that they thought that they were just friends. That they didn´t know how to deal with this, and the fact that his eyebrow was raising while they were explaining didn´t help anyone, and for the love of god don´t start giggling now!

They could see that he was really trying to hold his giggles back, instead he chocked out, _"A pun on my name, really?"_ The look that they sent him for that would have lesser people flee in fear, while he just seemed to have more problems not to break out into laughter.

Theo started to breath, through his nose, visibly counting his breath, till he relaxed a little again. _"Say do you know any flower language? What some flowers represent?"_ They glowered again, to which his response was a short huff.

They relaxed their face and dryly asked him if they looked like the kind of person, that has extensive knowledge of flowers. Theo just looked them once up and down, before snippy answering, _"Well, you also don´t look like the type to know your herbs, or to mix medicine, or to have random panic attacks. But good job with fooling everybody!"_ , he smiled brightly at them.

They grumbled something that was incomprehensible to everybody, including them, and looked away from him. He, never one to let a chance go, jumped up from his bench, away from his piano, and instead towards them.

They flinched when he touched their hand unexpectedly, the one that was still holding the flowers. When they tried to open their hand, to let him take the flowers, he just gently closed their hand again, bringing both of their hands on level with their face and started to explain.

_"This is an orchid. This particular one is from the far east. It is rarely found here, and so symbolizes my deep feelings for you. Though not in a romantic way, no need to look at me like that. See! The colour. The meaning changes depending on colour. I gifted you a yellow one. That stands for friendship. A few are white, which means innocence."_

He looked at them, and gently pressed the orchid in their hands, a small smile on his face, _"I just wanted to let you know that I love you like that"_ , then he turned around, walking back to his bench at the piano.

A moment later the tune from before started up again. They were unsure what to do with themself, but decided to sit down, next to Theo, just listening to the music he was making. Closing their eyes, they leaned against him, unsure how to tell him, that he was important to them too.

_"Do not worry. I already know"_ , and with that they fell asleep.


	69. Silly Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the little silly games that the people around me like to play. No matter what it is. I usually adore it.
> 
> Maybe it is because I adore them.

_"Do you see those three stars. That one! Yes, and the two right next to them. The bright ones! Yeah!"_ , she was excited, pointing wildly into the night sky, raising herself from the ground, while they just nodded. Vartouhi laid back down again, crossing her arms behind her head. _"Do you think those stars are a constellation? That they mean something?"_

They looked at her then back at the sky, just thinking for a moment, searching through their head for a constellation that included all three of the stars, but they were coming up empty. So when they looked back at her, they just shrugged.

She smiled and started to tell a tale, _"These stars are meant to symbolize the story of, the story of-"_ They just smiled, while listening to her fumble through a tale of her own making, closing their eyes and just letting her voice wash over them.

* * *

Lochan hit them in the arm, he was laughing, just tiny little gasps of air. They were mud covered, and in retaliation just huffed out little growls, that both knew meant little. Sometimes they would fight, if it was running, jumping or physically trying to bring the other down.

It was the kind of stuff, that he usually repressed to a certain point, probably for the same reason they held their growls back most of the time. It was the need to appear less dangerous, than the two of them actually were. But stuff like that tended to be exhausting in the long run.

He was still breathy giggling, and they raised their eyebrow, but that didn´t make him stop. A last soft growl was all the warning he got, before they launched themself at him, ripping him of his feet. The two started to play fight once more.

* * *

_"I see something that is green, and it can dance!"_ Ardito was grinning up at them, and they matched him with their own smile. They started to hum and look around, searching for something that could fit the description that they had just been given.

They pointed at a frog, that was jumping from a leave, but the young boy just shook his head. _"A frog can´t dance!"_ Raising their eyebrow, they argued that frogs could indeed dance, and that he simply hadn´t seen it yet. He just shook his head again.

They hummed and pointed then at a bird, but the moment the boy saw the bird, he was just making an amazed sound, _"I didn´t see that. It´s so pretty!"_ They just huffed amused, and running out of options they pointed at a tree. He screeched once delighted, and they started to look around for something, that they could use for their turn.

* * *

Sascha hummed, _"How about parsley?"_ They grinned, they still remembered how that one looked. They grabbed it quickly out of the pile, and held it in his direction. Carefully Sascha took it out of their hands and held it close to his face as if appraising it. Then he took a quick whiff and nodded.

_"That was a little easy"_ , he hummed, _"How about you pick out what we need if we want to avoid a wound from infecting, little one?"_ He leaned back content, with letting them figure it out. They looked back at the plants, they were sure that he had mentioned something like this once.

Carefully they started to pick a few herbs out, always unsure if they were right. When they stopped for long, he just slightly hummed, encouraging them to pick out another. At the end they had chosen Oregano, usually used as a spice, garlic, another spice, and they turned around and walked to a shelf and picked out a jar with honey. Sascha just patted them proudly on the head.

* * *

They held their wooden sword tightly, breath accelerated. Yvette was standing in front of them, nearly mirroring them, her hair dusty hair flying around her head like a halo. She was grinning widely. A mock scream, and she ran at them, sword high.

The two of them were exchanging blows, side stepping them, and just jumping around. Both of them were trying to get a hit on the other, that would earn them another point, but it was harder than expected. She was more experienced, and they were simply unwilling to give up, and stubbornly kept fighting.

A victorious yowl, escaped them, when they managed to hit Yvette, with their wooden sword. She was laughing too, they could see it in the way her shoulders were shaking, even though not a single note escaped her mouth. She laid an arm around them, and together they walked back home.

* * *

He was sitting there, hands splayed across the keys, still deciding which note he would play. They were sitting with their back to him, leaning against the bench he was sitting on, they had closed their eyes and where half asleep. Then a note rang through the room.

_"Which one?"_

Randomly they chose an answer. Just because Theophilius was a musician, who could hear the differences between the different notes, didn´t meant they could do it too. The only thing they knew, that if he wanted he could make them all sound beautiful. He began playing, laughing slightly, but not complaining that they didn´t know.

* * *

With surprise, they looked at the stick, that had been thrown into their lap. They looked back between it and Culprit several times. Carefully they laid their book to the side, and picked the stick up. They waved it slightly, watching how Culprit followed it´s every move, then they threw it.

The horse was running after it, and they watched a little dumb founded. They hadn´t known that horses do that thing too. They had always thought only dogs do it. Apparently they were wrong though, because they could clearly see, how Culprit came running back to them, with the stick in tow.

It was dropped in their lap again, and their lips quirked up amused. The two continued like this for a while, and more often than not, they were laughing loudly, just running around with Culprit. Sometimes throwing the stick, and sometimes running around with it in their hand.


End file.
